local man has issue

By Liam Devine-Carter

 

Lately, I got this big old feeling that follows me around town.

You know, that little spotted lemur on your back that’s always asking you why you were born in America and not South Africa?

Well, that little primate has been in my ear talkin’ bout

“What are ya doing there, buddy boy?”

Relax, Morris the Monkey.

I’m tryna wash the marinara sauce off this damn bowl!

Why you got me wondering about which of my uncles would’ve adopted me

if my parents had exploded at Whole Foods when I was four years old.

“Aye, bucko, pick up the pace.”

This little Slow-mo Sapien on my back got my mind running wild

about things that make my chest feel a little tight,

like it does when Big Cousin Fred hugs you too tight.

And I’m trying to get this thing off my back.

I used to try to shake it loose,

Throw on a little Usher and get to movin’

But no, it was still there.

Nowadays me and the Monkey are like roommates that don’t like each other.

Kinda just lie around and aggressively pass the bag of Doritos back and forth.

 

Liam’s Bio:

Liam Devine-Carter is a Senior at Rutgers New Brunswick. He majors in English with a minor in Creative Writing. He is from Montclair, New Jersey, and graduated from Montclair High School in 2017. Liam is a man about campus. One can often catch him with friends, splitting fresh pizza pie and a pitcher of Coors Light at the Olive Branch Bar on any given Thursday.