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An Attempt at Understanding Auschwitz

During our discussion with Adam about Auschwitz-Birkenau, I began to contemplate the significance of visiting and the reason for doing so. Growing up Jewish, the word Auschwitz had always been a part of my consciousness, but I never truly reflected and processed it. After the conversation, I was able to logically understand the importance of going to Auschwitz which has proliferated into the highly popularized symbol of the Holocaust. After taking the class over the semester and having a foundation of Poland and Jews living in Poland, I felt a certain responsibility to see the site myself and use the truth that I have learned to spread to the people around me as a topic that frequents conversation. I also had an understanding of the importance of visiting the camps in light of holocaust deniers and as a means to preserve and pay homage to the dead. However, upon actually being in Auschwitz all of my feelings of understanding, logic, and rationality were replaced with shock and horror. I contemplated the reason for keeping the camps open and the role it plays in tourism today. Listening to the meticulous strategy of mass killings, looking into the eyes of unexpecting victims who packed shoe shiners expecting a “relocation”, being surrounded by the mass of shoes left behind, and walking through the rooms and streets felt like a sensory overload. As I brushed across hundreds of people visiting from all over the world taking “aesthetic” pictures and who plan a vacation to see the site, created a theme-park atmosphere that felt strange to me. With tears in my eyes and uncontrollable breathing, I too felt like I was a part of the attraction and “the experience” of visiting Auschwitz. I believe that it will take me a long time if ever to understand my own reaction, to understand why Auschwitz still stands, to understand why it ever stood, to understand why it is so popular, to understand the things I heard and saw. Regardless of my uncontrollable burst of emotion and reaction, I think I am glad to have gone and seen it myself and am able to use what I have learned to build a more accurate depiction of the past to take with me into the present.