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Katherine O’Connor

 

I look for your eyes in the water

 

Mom never showed me a photo

Never told me about your hair

If you had freckles like mine

 

I crouch on the sand

The length of the waves

They hit their peak

I search for someone seeing into me

 

“Oh, he would have loved you,

completely spoiled you”

 

I look for your eyes in the water

 

Dad said they never found a

a

a

body

But that Mom wouldn’t have been able to afford a casket

For the

the

funeral

anyway

s

 

I look for your eyes in the water

 

In seaweed caught in plastic manmade lakes

In the foam of musky shores by the Verrazano Bridge

In trout that brush by my feet in the Kill Van Kull

 

Grammy said you’re hiding

And I’ll find you when I need you most

She said you made Mom promise

He’d get a granddaughter

 

You couldn’t wait for me

 

I look for your eyes in the water

 

The first time I asked about you I was five

“He had these blue eyes. Like yours and mine,

yes they were blue…they were

blue. Like yours.

Like yours and mine”

 

She turned the TV back on

Flipping through the channels

Castaway

The Little Mermaid

Finding Nemo

The Bridge

 

Our eyes are blue like

The Water

Yours would blend in

I look harder

 

I thought you drowned

Dad said when you jump that

 

high

The water

h

its you like a

t

on of 

 

bricks

 

Did you close your eyes?

Or were you ready

Staring into it

Arms stretched

Ready to dive

Thinking what Mom will say at the funeral

Wishing you waited for your granddaughter

 

I look for your eyes in the water

 


Katherine O’Connor is a sophomore majoring in Environmental Studies and Sociology and minoring in Creative Writing. You can also find her work in Elementia Literary Magazine and Cathartic Youth Literary Magazine.