Streetlights

By Maxwell Rayside

 

Hundreds of thousands of millions. That’s how many stars there were in space, yet, in the moment, Grayson could only see seventeen of them. From his brief stint in college, he knew that three of them formed a constellation ⁠— Astro’s Belt, or something like that ⁠— but he had barely passed astronomy with a C, so his knowledge was limited. Still, they were pretty to look at, especially when compared to the dull beige pavement beneath his dress shoes.

As he looked up at the twinkling lights, his brain kept replaying the past hour. The rose petals carefully strewn across the floor. The glasses of sparkling water. The menu of overpriced cuts of Wagyu beef and other red meats. The live classical orchestra, playing the same four measures over and over again on their respective instruments. The empty seat across from him.

It’s probably for the best, he admitted to himself, clenching onto the car keys in his palm. I bet she would’ve been embarrassed by me. Who wouldn’t be? I’m a failed musician who can’t even remember to get his car fixed. God, I should’ve never dropped out of college… Subconsciously, he tossed his ring of keys into the air, but was just a second too late to catch it. Perfect. Just my luck.

He checked his wallet one last time, hoping to discover a single bill that could take him back home, but he had wasted all his money at the restaurant on food that had never been consumed. There was no money for a rideshare, no money to tow his busted car, and since the vehicle belonged to the entire family, he couldn’t even call his parents to pick him up. Defeated, he continued trodding along the sidewalks in solitude, following the light of the seemingly endless row of streetlights beside him.

What was that?!

The noise of a fallen trash can cut through the silent void of the night, sending a cold shiver down Grayson’s spine. Great, he thought, rubbing the goosebumps on his arm. Now there’s something behind me. As if this night couldn’t get any worse. Not daring to take a step ahead, Grayson turned his head slightly to the side, prepared to see a mugger or shadowy figure trailing behind him.

Instead, his eyes met a small gray kitten with a collar around its neck.

“Oh, thank goodness,” he muttered to himself, bending down to scratch the cat’s chin. “What a cutie.” The feline accepted this display of affection and rolled onto its back to receive more love. Grayson chuckled, until the shine of the metal around the kitty’s neck caught his eye. He reached for the collar, which read Lily, followed by an address about a mile out of his way.

Without hesitation, he picked up Lily and cradled her in his arms. “I’ll get you back home, don’t worry,” he whispered into her ear. As a sign of gratitude, she licked his nose and began to purr.

Okay, I need a plan, Grayson thought to himself, fumbling around in his tight pants pocket. I don’t have a car or money, but I do have a best friend who can get me out of this. Pulling out his phone, he scrolled through his contacts until he found “Blake,” the former drummer of his failed band. As it rang, Grayson scratched Lily’s belly, only to be disappointed by the sound of his friend’s automated voice mail. He hung up without leaving a message.

My phone’s only at four percent. Shit. Gotta make this next call count. Sliding his thumb across the screen, Grayson searched through his list of contacts for any individual who could help him out. However, he soon realized that nearly all of the people there were either high school friends who now lived in different states or potential dates that had never called him back.

Until he came across the sole name listed under the letter “V.”

His heart pounded, and his palms turned cold with sweat, rubbing against Lily’s silky body. There’s no way I can call her. Sure, we were together for two years, but I screwed it up. She doesn’t want to hear from me. He pressed his thumb onto the screen, about to scroll away from her contact, when he noticed that his phone had already dropped to two percent. He had no time to waste.

Please, forgive me for this, he thought to himself, tears already welling in his eyes. He looked back up at the stars one more time, hoping their presence would calm him down, but to no avail. Closing his eyes and clenching his teeth, he pressed the button to call her.

 

***   ***   ***

The glossy pearl car pulled up next to Grayson, the glow of its headlights piercing the darkness like daggers. There was not a dent, not a scratch, not a stroke of paint out of place on the perfectly-maintained vehicle. The driver rolled down her window, a young woman with frizzy black hair that was just as well-kept as the car.

“Get in, Grayson!” she called out, her voice stern and commanding. Following her orders, the young man opened the door and hopped into the passenger seat of the car, placing Lily gently on his lap. “Wait, hold on. You mentioned nothing about the feline.”

Grayson chuckled. “Heh, sorry about that, Valerie. I just need to quickly return Lily to her owners.” He took the collar off the cat’s neck and handed it to the driver, who grimaced at the abundance of cat hair that had entered her car. “Could you maybe take us to this address before you drop me off?”

Valerie thought it over for a moment, then sighed and nodded her head. She pulled up directions on her phone without a word, and pulled away into the street.

As the car passed First Avenue, then Second, Third, and so on, Grayson stared out the window, watching the glowing beams of the streetlights momentarily engulf the car, then vanish a second later. Lily continued purring on his lap, providing a nice warmth against the frigid temperature of the vehicle.

“So,” Valerie said, clearing her throat. “Let me guess. Date didn’t show?”

Grayson nearly choked on his saliva in shock. “How did you⁠—”

“The dress shoes, the stench of cologne mixed with disappointment, the button-up shirt — which I seem to recall buying for you, by the way — and the fact that you’re currently alone.”

“Ah.”

The two fell back into silence, and Grayson could feel the butterflies beginning to swarm his stomach. Eager to get a conversation going, he opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He tried again, but his voice had become incapable of forming a single vowel or consonant. Instead, he resigned himself to rubbing Lily’s belly. His heart rate slowed a little bit.

“Strange,” Valerie blurted out, not taking even a glance at her passenger, “that you’d call me for help after someone stood you up, considering how you did the same thing to me, on our two-year anniversary, no less.” A bead of sweat trickled down Grayson’s face, falling off and landing right onto Lily’s nose. The cat licked it up and continued purring. “Let me guess? Now that you know how I felt, you wish to apologize?” Valerie laughed and shook her head. “Not interested. You’re two years too late.”

“It’s not like that,” Grayson said. “I don’t want to apologize. I mean, I do, but⁠—”

“You know what? Maybe it would be better if neither of us spoke.”

Valerie inadvertently pressed her foot harder on the gas pedal, thrusting the car forward a couple of miles per hour above the speed limit. Sensing her frustration, Grayson pressed himself into the seat, rubbing Lily’s belly.

This was a bad idea, he thought to himself. Obviously, I mean. It came from me, it has to be bad. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, noticing two very prominent bags under his eyes, and a wrinkle on his forehead. I’m such a screw-up. How could I ruin things with the ONE person who meant everything to me? She kept me organized. She bought me nice shirts. She believed in me… and yet I was too embarrassed to call her that night. Too embarrassed to tell her I had abandoned her for a failed attempt to boost my career. The gig was a bust, I dropped out of college, and she kept going on without me. I don’t deserve her. I never did.

Grayson looked at her face one last time. His heart was racing, but no words could match its pace.

The two sat in silence.

***   ***   ***

Ding-dong.

No answer. Grayson peeked through the window, but the brown curtains were blocking his view of the main foyer.

“The lights are off,” Valerie sighed. “It looks like no one’s home, so I suppose we should sit here and wait for her owners to come back.”

“We?” Grayson repeated, petting Lily’s still purring head.

“Only because it wouldn’t make sense to leave you with no way to get home.”

Grayson nodded his head, and took a seat on the shined wooden bench that rested on the porch’s side. Valerie sat next to him, and the two once again adopted their game of silence.

Lily had fallen asleep in Grayson’s lap, breathing in and out, in and out, a peaceful cycle of precision. As Grayson gently rubbed her stomach, he looked at the woman sitting next to him. She was wearing her standard white top, blue jeans, and matching accessories, yet her elegant poise made the look feel new and original, as if this was her first time wearing it.

He must’ve been staring for a little too long, as her eyes met his and the two blushed. Looking away, Grayson twiddled his thumbs.

“I called you because I was desperate,” he softly said, letting the words naturally fall out of his mouth. “I needed a friend… One who who could help me with this cat, and maybe even with—” He cut himself off, heaving a heavy sigh. “I knew it was a terrible idea, and yet… here we are.”

Much to his surprise, Valerie laughed.

“Well, if you’re being honest, I suppose I can, too,” she said between giggles. “I only responded to your phone call because I thought you wanted to apologize to me. And it didn’t click why that was a bad idea until I was here, too. Especially because I don’t need to hear an apology. It’s been two years, I’m over it.” A pause. “At least, I thought I was. My brain just got excited by the idea, and… I wanted to hear you say sorry.” She struggled getting out those last few words, but then quickly shifted back into her frenzied fit of giggles. “Oh, god. I hated hearing myself say that. That’s so messed up, right?”

Grayson shook his head. “Not really.”

She let out one last small chuckle, then looked directly into Grayson’s eyes. “I’m sorry for being so callous tonight. Being alone with you brings back old feelings. Old feelings I had forgotten. Old feelings that I wanted to forget.” Her lips quivered. “It really hurt, Grayson. I sat at that restaurant table for hours, hoping you would show, but knowing you wouldn’t. Going home with mascara dripping down my cheeks. Taking off my dress and tossing it on the floor. Waiting for the text that explained everything. Going into school the next day and not finding you.”

The man sighed, putting his hand tenderly on her shoulder. “You’re not the one who needs to apologize. I’m the one who called you here and practically forced you to remember all that shit!” He began pounding on his skull. “God, I wasn’t thinking! Why am I such an idiot?!”

Before Grayson could get in another hit, Valerie grabbed his wrist and lowered it back onto Lily’s ever peaceful belly. “You’re not dumb. At least, not any dumber than the rest of us. We’re all human.” She twirled a strand of her hair around her finger. “You know, whatever girl didn’t show up to your date? She’s missing out. We had some pretty nice times, didn’t we?” Another pause, this time stemming from a second of hesitation. “The basement show I met you at… that time we went to Paris… that picnic in the park… freshman Astronomy with Professor Hamilton—”

As much as he wanted to hold them back, tears poured from Grayson’s eyes. His face fell into his hands, but a daintier hand had landed on his back, rubbing his tight muscles into relaxation.

“I didn’t want to stand you up, Valerie,” he sobbed. “But the gig was supposed to make my career as a musician⁠, and a last-minute spot had just opened up for my band, and my phone was—”

“Stop,” Valerie said, her voice low and solemn. “When I said I didn’t need to hear an apology, I meant it.” She rested her head on Grayson’s shoulder, her hair cushioning his face. “We’re good, Grayson.”

“Yeah?”

“I think so, yeah.”

Valerie rested her head on Grayson’s shoulder, and the two waited next to each other, looking at the stars, accompanied only by the soft vibration of Lily’s purring and the faded gleam of a nearby streetlight.

 

Max’s Bio: 

Maxwell Rayside is a sophomore from Highland Park, New Jersey. Though he may be an undecided major, he enjoys the world of theater and loves to create worlds, characters, and stories every opportunity he gets.