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To Whom It May Concern

After Kim Addonizio

Mox Engelman

 

It is possible that I spend just a tad too much

Time staring at my hands, flicking my thumbs against

Each other’s nails to hear the satisfying

Clack and scrape, and have analyzed and memorized

Every line in the knuckle of my middle finger

And my fingerprint

And my fingernail

And the bottom left corner of my palm

 

It is possible that I waste good

Time, picking at the dead

Skin flaps and clusters, finding purchase

Between the cells to pull, and feeling the long gone

Holdfasts give way as it peels, revealing

The red

The raw

The new, soft layer yet unweary

 

It is possible, but

If you’ve ever compulsively run your fingers

Over scars or cuts or bumps or bruises and pressed

In just a little, had your preoccupation mistaken

For preening, wanted to smash a mirror but

Were afraid of the consequences, that the little

Shards would make things worse, wondered

After the texture of your own hair or bones or tongue

 

Please understand, sometimes my heart beating my blood around my extremities is the only best part of me.

 

Mox Engelman hails from Cherry Hill, NJ, and graduated in 2023 with a double major in Marine Biology and Visual Art. Mox is currently applying for grants, fellowships, and PhD programs while they enjoy a much needed gap year.