A History Student’s Regrets
Layla McLaurin
When you watch me open my book
on the sixties,
read on yellowed pages Dr. King’s words
which you heard from your television,
sweat coiling the hair under your white nurse’s cap,
scarred feet bit by strangling heels,
do you wonder why I did not open up to you instead?
When you watch me ask my professor
about US involvement in Korea,
about the war your husband fought
for an idea he did not yet know himself,
while you, 16, whispered prayers
for a girl you did not yet know yourself,
do you wonder why I did not ask you first?
When from above you watch me
search archives for histories of the Great Migration,
of the journey your mother made from
Charleston to West Oak Lane
after the Great War,
her tawny face wrinkled by a north wind
whose sharpness I will never know,
do you wonder, Grandmother,
why I did not try to search your memories?
Layla McLaurin is a member of the class of 2028 who plans to major in history. From Voorhees, New Jersey, she has always been interested in different forms of art, from music and theatre to visual art and creative writing. She is excited to continue developing as a student and writer during her time at Rutgers, and hopes to become a lawyer or archivist.