{"id":1055,"date":"2020-06-01T15:35:54","date_gmt":"2020-06-01T15:35:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sites.rutgers.edu\/writers-house-review\/?page_id=1055"},"modified":"2020-08-28T02:58:44","modified_gmt":"2020-08-28T02:58:44","slug":"streetlights","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/sites.rutgers.edu\/writers-house-review\/whr-volume-1\/streetlights\/","title":{"rendered":"Streetlights"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Maxwell Rayside<\/em><\/h4>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hundreds of thousands of millions. That\u2019s how many stars there were in space, yet, in the moment, Grayson could only see seventeen of them. From his brief stint in college, he knew that three of them formed a constellation \u2060\u2014 Astro\u2019s Belt, or something like that \u2060\u2014 but he had barely passed astronomy with a C, so his knowledge was limited. Still, they were pretty to look at, especially when compared to the dull beige pavement beneath his dress shoes.<\/p>\n

As he looked up at the twinkling lights, his brain kept replaying the past hour. The rose petals carefully strewn across the floor. The glasses of sparkling water. The menu of overpriced cuts of Wagyu beef and other red meats. The live classical orchestra, playing the same four measures over and over again on their respective instruments. The empty seat across from him.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s probably for the best<\/em>, he admitted to himself, clenching onto the car keys in his palm. I bet she would\u2019ve been embarrassed by me. Who wouldn\u2019t be? I\u2019m a failed musician who can\u2019t even remember to get his car fixed. God, I should\u2019ve never dropped out of college… <\/em>Subconsciously, he tossed his ring of keys into the air, but was just a second too late to catch it. Perfect. Just my luck.<\/em><\/p>\n

He checked his wallet one last time, hoping to discover a single bill that could take him back home, but he had wasted all his money at the restaurant on food that had never been consumed. There was no money for a rideshare, no money to tow his busted car, and since the vehicle belonged to the entire family, he couldn\u2019t even call his parents to pick him up. Defeated, he continued trodding along the sidewalks in solitude, following the light of the seemingly endless row of streetlights beside him.<\/p>\n

What was that?!<\/em><\/p>\n

The noise of a fallen trash can cut through the silent void of the night, sending a cold shiver down Grayson\u2019s spine. Great<\/em>, he thought, rubbing the goosebumps on his arm. Now there’s something behind me. As if this night couldn\u2019t get any worse. <\/em>Not daring to take a step ahead, Grayson turned his head slightly to the side, prepared to see a mugger or shadowy figure trailing behind him.<\/p>\n

Instead, his eyes met a small gray kitten with a collar around its neck.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, thank goodness,\u201d he muttered to himself, bending down to scratch the cat\u2019s chin. \u201cWhat a cutie.\u201d The feline accepted this display of affection and rolled onto its back to receive more love. Grayson chuckled, until the shine of the metal around the kitty\u2019s neck caught his eye. He reached for the collar, which read Lily<\/em>, followed by an address about a mile out of his way.<\/p>\n

Without hesitation, he picked up Lily and cradled her in his arms. \u201cI\u2019ll get you back home, don\u2019t worry,\u201d he whispered into her ear. As a sign of gratitude, she licked his nose and began to purr.<\/p>\n

Okay, I need a plan<\/em>, Grayson thought to himself, fumbling around in his tight pants pocket. I don\u2019t have a car or money, but I <\/em>do have a best friend who can get me out of this.<\/em> Pulling out his phone, he scrolled through his contacts until he found \u201cBlake,\u201d the former drummer of his failed band. As it rang, Grayson scratched Lily\u2019s belly, only to be disappointed by the sound of his friend\u2019s automated voice mail. He hung up without leaving a message.<\/p>\n

My phone\u2019s only at four percent. Shit. Gotta make this next call count. <\/em>Sliding his thumb across the screen, Grayson searched through his list of contacts for any individual who could help him out. However, he soon realized that nearly all of the people there were either high school friends who now lived in different states or potential dates that had never called him back.<\/p>\n

Until he came across the sole name listed under the letter \u201cV.\u201d<\/p>\n

His heart pounded, and his palms turned cold with sweat, rubbing against Lily\u2019s silky body. There\u2019s no way I can call her. Sure, we were together for two years, but I screwed it up. She doesn\u2019t want to hear from me. <\/em>He pressed his thumb onto the screen, about to scroll away from her contact, when he noticed that his phone had already dropped to two percent. He had no time to waste.<\/p>\n

Please, forgive me for this<\/em>, he thought to himself, tears already welling in his eyes. He looked back up at the stars one more time, hoping their presence would calm him down, but to no avail. Closing his eyes and clenching his teeth, he pressed the button to call her.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***\u00a0 \u00a0***\u00a0 \u00a0***<\/p>\n

The glossy pearl car pulled up next to Grayson, the glow of its headlights piercing the darkness like daggers. There was not a dent, not a scratch, not a stroke of paint out of place on the perfectly-maintained vehicle. The driver rolled down her window, a young woman with frizzy black hair that was just as well-kept as the car.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet in, Grayson!\u201d she called out, her voice stern and commanding. Following her orders, the young man opened the door and hopped into the passenger seat of the car, placing Lily gently on his lap. \u201cWait, hold on. You mentioned nothing about the feline.\u201d<\/p>\n

Grayson chuckled. \u201cHeh, sorry about that, Valerie. I just need to quickly return Lily to her owners.\u201d He took the collar off the cat\u2019s neck and handed it to the driver, who grimaced at the abundance of cat hair that had entered her car. \u201cCould you maybe take us to this address before you drop me off?\u201d<\/p>\n

Valerie thought it over for a moment, then sighed and nodded her head. She pulled up directions on her phone without a word, and pulled away into the street.<\/p>\n

As the car passed First Avenue, then Second, Third, and so on, Grayson stared out the window, watching the glowing beams of the streetlights momentarily engulf the car, then vanish a second later. Lily continued purring on his lap, providing a nice warmth against the frigid temperature of the vehicle.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo,\u201d Valerie said, clearing her throat. \u201cLet me guess. Date didn’t show?\u201d<\/p>\n

Grayson nearly choked on his saliva in shock. \u201cHow did you\u2060\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe dress shoes, the stench of cologne mixed with disappointment, the button-up shirt \u2014 which I seem to recall buying for you, by the way \u2014 and the fact that you\u2019re currently alone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAh.\u201d<\/p>\n

The two fell back into silence, and Grayson could feel the butterflies beginning to swarm his stomach. Eager to get a conversation going, he opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He tried again, but his voice had become incapable of forming a single vowel or consonant. Instead, he resigned himself to rubbing Lily\u2019s belly. His heart rate slowed a little bit.<\/p>\n

\u201cStrange,\u201d Valerie blurted out, not taking even a glance at her passenger, \u201cthat you\u2019d call me for help after someone stood you up, considering how you did the same thing to me, on our two-year anniversary, no less.\u201d A bead of sweat trickled down Grayson\u2019s face, falling off and landing right onto Lily\u2019s nose. The cat licked it up and continued purring. \u201cLet me guess? Now that you know how I felt, you wish to apologize?\u201d Valerie laughed and shook her head. \u201cNot interested. You\u2019re two years too late.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not like that,\u201d Grayson said. \u201cI don\u2019t want to apologize. I mean, I do, but\u2060\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know what? Maybe it would be better if neither of us spoke.\u201d<\/p>\n

Valerie inadvertently pressed her foot harder on the gas pedal, thrusting the car forward a couple of miles per hour above the speed limit. Sensing her frustration, Grayson pressed himself into the seat, rubbing Lily\u2019s belly.<\/p>\n

This was a bad idea, <\/em>he thought to himself. Obviously, I mean. It came from me, it has to be bad. <\/em>He looked at his reflection in the mirror, noticing two very prominent bags under his eyes, and a wrinkle on his forehead. I\u2019m such a screw-up. How could I ruin things with the ONE person who meant everything to me? She kept me organized. She bought me nice shirts. She believed in me\u2026 and yet I was too embarrassed to call her that night. Too embarrassed to tell her I had abandoned her for a failed attempt to boost my career. The gig was a bust, I dropped out of college, and she kept going on without me. I don\u2019t deserve her. I never did.<\/em><\/p>\n

Grayson looked at her face one last time. His heart was racing, but no words could match its pace.<\/p>\n

The two sat in silence.<\/p>\n

***\u00a0 \u00a0***\u00a0 \u00a0***<\/p>\n

Ding-dong<\/em>.<\/p>\n

No answer. Grayson peeked through the window, but the brown curtains were blocking his view of the main foyer.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe lights are off,\u201d Valerie sighed. \u201cIt looks like no one\u2019s home, so I suppose we should sit here and wait for her owners to come back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe<\/em>?\u201d Grayson repeated, petting Lily\u2019s still purring head.<\/p>\n

\u201cOnly because it wouldn\u2019t make sense to leave you with no way to get home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Grayson nodded his head, and took a seat on the shined wooden bench that rested on the porch\u2019s side. Valerie sat next to him, and the two once again adopted their game of silence.<\/p>\n

Lily had fallen asleep in Grayson\u2019s lap, breathing in and out, in and out, a peaceful cycle of precision. As Grayson gently rubbed her stomach, he looked at the woman sitting next to him. She was wearing her standard white top, blue jeans, and matching accessories, yet her elegant poise made the look feel new and original, as if this was her first time wearing it.<\/p>\n

He must\u2019ve been staring for a little too long, as her eyes met his and the two blushed. Looking away, Grayson twiddled his thumbs.<\/p>\n

\u201cI called you because I was desperate,\u201d he softly said, letting the words naturally fall out of his mouth. \u201cI needed a friend\u2026 One who who could help me with this cat, and maybe even with\u2014\u201d He cut himself off, heaving a heavy sigh. \u201cI knew it was a terrible idea, and yet\u2026 here we are.\u201d<\/p>\n

Much to his surprise, Valerie laughed.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, if you\u2019re being honest, I suppose I can, too,\u201d she said between giggles. \u201cI only responded to your phone call because I thought you wanted to apologize to me. And it didn’t click why that was a bad idea until I was here, too. Especially because I don\u2019t need to hear an apology. It\u2019s been two years, I\u2019m over it.\u201d A pause. \u201cAt least, I thought I was. My brain just got excited by the idea, and\u2026 I wanted<\/em> to hear you say sorry.\u201d She struggled getting out those last few words, but then quickly shifted back into her frenzied fit of giggles. \u201cOh, god. I hated hearing myself say that. That\u2019s so messed up, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

Grayson shook his head. \u201cNot really.\u201d<\/p>\n

She let out one last small chuckle, then looked directly into Grayson\u2019s eyes. \u201cI\u2019m sorry for being so callous tonight. Being alone with you brings back old feelings. Old feelings I had forgotten. Old feelings that I wanted<\/em> to forget.\u201d Her lips quivered. “It really hurt, Grayson. I sat at that restaurant table for hours, hoping you would show, but knowing you wouldn’t. Going home with mascara dripping down my cheeks. Taking off my dress and tossing it on the floor. Waiting for the text that explained everything. Going into school the next day and not finding you.”<\/p>\n

The man sighed, putting his hand tenderly on her shoulder. \u201cYou\u2019re not the one who needs to apologize. I\u2019m the one who called you here and practically forced<\/em> you to remember all that shit!\u201d He began pounding on his skull. \u201cGod, I wasn\u2019t thinking! Why am I such an idiot?!\u201d<\/p>\n

Before Grayson could get in another hit, Valerie grabbed his wrist and lowered it back onto Lily\u2019s ever peaceful belly. \u201cYou\u2019re not dumb. At least, not any dumber than the rest of us. We\u2019re all human.\u201d She twirled a strand of her hair around her finger. “You know, whatever girl didn\u2019t show up to your date? She\u2019s missing out. We had some pretty nice times, didn\u2019t we?” Another pause, this time stemming from a second of hesitation. “The basement show I met you at\u2026 that time we went to Paris\u2026 that picnic in the park\u2026 freshman Astronomy with Professor Hamilton\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

As much as he wanted to hold them back, tears poured from Grayson\u2019s eyes. His face fell into his hands, but a daintier hand had landed on his back, rubbing his tight muscles into relaxation.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn’t want to stand you up, Valerie,\u201d he sobbed. \u201cBut the gig was supposed to make my career as a musician\u2060, and a last-minute spot had just opened up for my band, and my phone was\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStop,\u201d Valerie said, her voice low and solemn. \u201cWhen I said I didn\u2019t need to hear an apology, I meant it.\u201d She rested her head on Grayson\u2019s shoulder, her hair cushioning his face. \u201cWe\u2019re good, Grayson.\u201d<\/p>\n

“Yeah?”<\/p>\n

“I think so, yeah.”<\/p>\n

Valerie rested her head on Grayson\u2019s shoulder, and the two waited next to each other, looking at the stars, accompanied only by the soft vibration of Lily\u2019s purring and the faded gleam of a nearby streetlight.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Max’s Bio:\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Maxwell Rayside is a sophomore from Highland Park, New Jersey. Though he may be an undecided major, he enjoys the world of theater and loves to create worlds, characters, and stories every opportunity he gets.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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