{"id":2024,"date":"2021-09-17T18:57:34","date_gmt":"2021-09-17T18:57:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sites.rutgers.edu\/writers-house-review\/?page_id=2024"},"modified":"2021-09-17T19:11:56","modified_gmt":"2021-09-17T19:11:56","slug":"autoapparitions","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/sites.rutgers.edu\/writers-house-review\/volume-2-fall-2021\/autoapparitions\/","title":{"rendered":"Autoapparitions"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Natasha Lopez<\/em><\/h4>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

I visit myself sometimes<\/p>\n

in the basketball court where she used to hide<\/p>\n

behind a row of pine trees with her neighbor,<\/p>\n

pushing through needles.<\/p>\n

She would come home sticky.<\/p>\n

Mom would bathe her in rubbing alcohol and chocolate milk<\/p>\n

to calm the sting and the pain in her legs<\/p>\n

and because she thought she liked chocolate milk.<\/p>\n

Or crying in the bathroom,<\/p>\n

while the ESL teacher brushes his teeth,<\/p>\n

scratching at the marks behind her knees<\/p>\n

that get red and purple and spread to her thighs.<\/p>\n

Google said to rub oil on stretched skin to ease the itch<\/p>\n

and fade the scars.<\/p>\n

She was too young the first time she wanted to die.<\/p>\n

The road there is foggy because she blacked out<\/p>\n

and a Stranger grabbed the wheel–<\/p>\n

she can hardly remember.<\/p>\n

Her friends pass her a joint, helps keep the flashbacks down.<\/p>\n

In a coffee field the beans whispered about love and distance.<\/p>\n

She laid with them in the sun,<\/p>\n

watched them brown to pass the time, find peace in the end.<\/p>\n

Under a tree with no leaves in San Roque<\/em>, she is rich.<\/p>\n

She doesn\u2019t like when I visit, says I<\/p>\n

make her chest heavy and the air thin.<\/p>\n

So I stop visiting, but<\/p>\n

never stop thinking about her.<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Natasha Lopez<\/strong> graduated in 2021, double majoring in Journalism & Media Studies and Latin American Studies. She is from Union City, NJ. You can read more of her poetry and writing at www.egostudy.com.<\/p>\n

Natasha wrote this poem for Joanna Fuhrman\u2019s Poetry course during the spring of 2021. Fuhrman selected the piece for inclusion in WHR<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Natasha Lopez \u00a0 I visit myself sometimes in the basketball court where she used to hide behind a row of pine trees with her neighbor, pushing through needles. 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