Ramsha Syed<\/em><\/h4>\n <\/p>\n
The pounding of my heart slowed down when you caught the seat of my two-wheeled,
\nPrincess bicycle, and I hugged you as you laughed, and I replayed it in my head.<\/p>\n
I replayed watching crime shows every Friday night until you fell asleep,
\nAnd I would wake you so that you could tuck me into bed.<\/p>\n
I replayed the microwaveable dinner we shared on our broken, plastic table,
\nWhere you told stories about your childhood, and I about my day at school.<\/p>\n
I replayed the big, red Honda with the giant wheel attached to its back, which you picked me up in every
\nMonday after school, as you sped to get home.<\/p>\n
While the surrounding cars honked and gave you the middle finger, you risked your job to pick me up,
\nand made terrible jokes to ease your stress, I replayed it all.<\/p>\n
All those moments, when you loved me as I deserved, when you looked past my mistakes, where you
\nguided me through life, I replayed them.<\/p>\n
I paused when you yelled at me, threw piercing daggers in the form of words, that wounded my young
\nheart and mind, deprived me of a childhood.<\/p>\n
I paused when you told me I\u2019ll never be good enough, when I cried in my bathroom as you pounded away
\nat the door.<\/p>\n
I paused when you raised your hand in anger but it never came down, when the cops would come to our
\nhouse because the neighbors complained you were too loud.<\/p>\n
I paused when my friends would go home in fear, begged me to come with them, and told their parents
\nhow scary you were.<\/p>\n
When you sent the rescuers away because you claimed I was lying, when you showed them my Father’s
\nDay cards, when you told them you loved me, I paused.<\/p>\n
I stopped waiting for you to change. I stopped waiting for you to realize what you were doing to me. I
\nstopped trying to make you proud by giving away my Sundays in service at the mosque.<\/p>\n
I stopped hoping you\u2019d stop using religion as an excuse to hurt me. I stopped believing in you.<\/p>\n
And now I move forward.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\nRamsha Syed<\/strong> is a junior at Rutgers Business School, studying business analytics and information technology while minoring in psychology. She grew up in East Brunswick, New Jersey, and lives there currently. She always had a passion for writing but never knew where to begin–or how to. According to Ramsha, “Taking Creative Writing in my Sophomore year of college was one of the best decisions I’ve made as it allowed me to realize my potential and develop a new hobby in writing. I aspire to write my own book one day and I hope I’m able to do so.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Ramsha Syed The pounding of my heart slowed down when you caught the seat of my two-wheeled, Princess bicycle, and I hugged you as you laughed, and I replayed … Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2513,"featured_media":0,"parent":2693,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-3332","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nVCR - Writers House Review<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/sites.rutgers.edu\/writers-house-review\/vol-3-winter-2022-23\/vcr\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"VCR - 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