Mindfulness Practice

Breathing can be thought of as the core of any mindfulness practice. Many of you might be thinking you do not have time to practice. You may be thinking that mindfulness will not fix all your problems. In fact, it may not fix anything, but it may help with everything. It will certainly help you to cope better with whatever challenges you are facing.

Before beginning, think, why are you coming to mindfulness practice today? What challenges are you facing? Are there thoughts swirling or strong emotions? This practice is a way to ground yourself. It is a way to start the day thinking clearly and feeling calm, and to ready one’s self for the challenges the day will bring. Use this practice to “fall awake,” and to live intentionally, instead of just going through the motions.

For today’s practice, use this clip to complete 5 minutes of guided practice on breathing.

Sit comfortably, take a breath, and click this brief clip. If you can, keep eyes open while practicing…

Now, you are ready to face your day.

When you need to be kinder, wiser, or stronger today, just take a deep breath and connect to how you are feeling right now.

Wishing you all strength throughout your day.

Michele

Yesterday, I was speaking with a friend in Canada who runs a large mental health service. She’s given me permission to share her story because she said that these daily mindfulness practices have been helpful to her and besides, she noted, most of you are in another country and do not know her…

She and I discussed how the responsibility to care for others was so intense that she could barely breathe. She explained that the worst part about the situation was that in the last 4 weeks, information she had available to her changed many times. More than that, she explained, sometimes there were no perfect choices…she was choosing between poor and less poor alternatives. She talked about how accepting these realities and still attempting to protect the patients in her care and the people who worked for her required almost constant redirecting herself back from thoughts like, “we should have anticipated this,” “I should have more space”, and frankly, “I wish I had left this job a few years ago”. To make matters worse, she was facing lots of criticism. Her mother was critical that she wasn’t home. Employees were angry and frightened and screamed at her during a virtual town hall meeting. Her leadership team was short with each other. Her husband had lots of advice in terms of how she should handle everything.

The burden of responsibility for others and the pain of things we can’t control that has potential to hurt other people can be almost paralyzing. Yesterday’s mindfulness, she said, was helpful. Accepting and turning the mind was what was needed. I told her I would send out another mindfulness that I thought might help. Implicit in a lot of her suffering (although she didn’t come out and say it) was judgment. She was judging herself for some things outside her control. She felt judgmental of others who had made decisions that left them underprepared. These judgments made it hard to be effective and just to be calm in the present moment.

Now, you might all think, “I don’t have responsibilities like your friend.” But, if this virus teaches us anything, it is that, indeed, each of our individual actions do impact the lives of other people. Zen teaches that every action we take is like a ripple in a pond affecting others. We all bear responsibility for the safety of others, for the emotional well-being of others, and for the sustainability of the planet. Sometimes, we get sick of the responsibilities, or we think we can’t help. Distancing from others kindly by waiting patiently and nonjudgmentally as they choose the most terrible program (oops judgment) for their hour of TV on your unit, waiting gently, instead of having an angry look as someone chooses their cereal in the grocery store aisle– these require letting go of judgment of others. Being effective requires letting go of anger at the lack of options and choosing wisely between options that exist. It is also so very important in mindfulness practice to refrain from judging yourself. Making the best choices, with the information you have and the options available to you, is the best way to care for yourself, your family, and those in your care.

Todays mindfulness practice involves, Jon Kabat-Zin discussing seeing reality without judgment. Please watch or listen as he explains it.

Get comfortable and take a few breaths. Notice where you hold judgment in your body, so you recognize it early. Who and what are you feeling judgmental about? Sit with palms facing up and let go of judgment with each exhale. As you exhale make it your intention to turn toward acceptance each time you notice a judgment. Do this for as long as you set your timer for.

Then, make it your practice today to notice judgmental thoughts and to strive to restate the thought without judgment. Refrain from saying judgmental things about others or acting towards others because of judgments. Refrain from judging yourself. When you catch yourself judging, take a deep breath, exhale and describe what is (instead of what shouldn’t be).

So today, try not to judge peers, teachers, workers, family members, supervisors, administrators, politicians, preachers. You get it…If you do take a breath and gently avoid thinking about them or approach gently with care.

Those of you who know me personally know that this is a practice I work on (and continue to need to work on).

Hope it helps you as unfairness bombards us. Have a peaceful weekend.

Michele

It is so easy to just “go through the motions” or to begin your day without ever actually waking up and paying attention. We can be foggy, confused, or disconnected. Jon Kabat-Zinn wrote a book about mindfulness called, “Falling Awake.” It is important to notice everything inside and outside us, without pushing it away or getting stuck in things. Every moment you can look at something or hear something is an invitation to wake yourself up to the present moment. Every breath we take provides that opportunity.

So, begin by settling yourself. Now listen to the following guided mindfulness practice and follow along…

Today’s exercise was very brief—just 5 minutes. But the task is notice what it felt like to be connected to the present moment. Any time you feel foggy, or overwhelmed, or overloaded, take a deep breath and connect to the present moment. You’ll find that this brings clarity, stability and a sense of how to proceed.

Wishing you clarity and peace today…

Michele

Today’s practice is about gratitude. Why should we practice gratitude? It turns out that noticing and appreciating things we are grateful for results in more overall happiness in one’s life. In one 10 week study, people were divided into two groups: one made a list of things they were grateful for each day; the second group wrote down things that irritated or annoyed them. At the end of 10 weeks, the gratitude group had higher rates of contentment and also exercised more and had fewer visits to their doctors. There are a number of studies showing that gratitude is beneficial to physical health, mental health, relationships, resilience and that it reduces anger and aggression. At some point, when you have time, read this very brief article about the benefits of gratitude.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201504/7-scientifically-proven-benefits-gratitude

One time in my life when I profoundly experienced gratitude was in college. That summer, I participated in a community service trip. Twenty of us travelled to Mexico to the site of an orphanage. The children in the orphanage ranged in age from 6 to 19. Most of them were abandoned by their parents because they could not take care of them or lured into being trafficked. Many had been given drugs and become addicted so that they would stay with their pimps. The children were rescued and lived, and schooled together on this orphanage. I can only describe it as barren. We were there digging to install a bathroom (they had only an outhouse with a deep hole a hundred feet from camp. There was one room where they all slept on mats. We slept on sleeping bags in an adjoining building with a cement floor. The children were incredibly grateful for the donated clothes they wore. They had a bunch of clothes that were washed and hung and each morning they would go to the clothes line to grab clothing from the communal supply of clothes. I recall a little boy named Max who would get up early each day so that he could wear a NY Yankees shirt (it was at least 3 sizes too big for him). They were grateful for food, clothing, and safety, and shelter. When I returned to my very small apartment in a pretty seedy section of the Bronx, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. I felt lucky to have a rug, and a refrigerator, and a fan. The apartment that previously felt like a dump suddenly made me feel privilege and experience gratitude. I’d like to say that that the experience permanently changed me, but we all get attached to things we want (a better seat on the plane, the show we want to watch on TV). We look ahead to what we don’t have but want. There is nothing wrong with working towards goals, even material ones. However, when we cease to notice things in the present, we deprive ourselves of the good feelings associated with gratitude.

Right now, many people are experiencing uncertainty. We have lost freedoms and activities we once took for granted. Along with this, a basic sense of safety may have been eroded. Doing a brief mindfulness, noticing things we are grateful for can help. You may find many such practices on youtube. I encourage you to try them. Many ask you to catalogue broad things in your life you are grateful for including accomplishments, relationships, etc…They ask you to reflect on your circumstances compared to others, perhaps in developing countries. These may be helpful, but I think of them as gratitude 2.0. So the practice today is one of very basic gratitude. I’ll include a link to one of those broader practices, with pleasant music for those who are interested.

Today’s Mindfulness:

Our practice today has no chimes and no relaxing music or sounds. It is a quiet practice. So when you are ready, sit in a chair for this practice.  Put your hand over your heart and silently say good morning to yourself using your name.

Sit and inhale deeply, noticing the moment your lungs are full, and then exhale. On your next inhale consider the oxygen being brought into your body and to each of your organs to keep you alive. See if you can connect to this oxygen as you breathe in and out. Consider the chair or the floor where you sit. It is solid and supports you. Feel that in the present moment, oxygen and a place to sit are all that you need. Continue to breathe in and out.

Now, take a moment to reflect on any of the things in your life that you are thankful for. Think about basic things like food, a place to be dry on a rainy day, a place to rest in the evening, your physical capabilities, your mind, your capacity to care for others, your ability to make choices and change if you wish to. Think about people in your life you are thankful for (whether you know them or you do not). Spend three minutes (leaders note timing) making  a mental list. For each think you think of say to yourself, I am grateful for…and take a breath in and out before moving to something else. If you get distracted or judgmental, just take a new breath, and gently prod yourself to find something you actually appreciate. Do this reset as many times as you need to.

When your practice is concluded, process it for a moment. How did it make you feel? What did you notice?

The idea of practices like this is not only the brief warm feelings that they generate, rather it is to develop in yourself a moment to moment noticing of things you are grateful for. This creates a balance to many negative things in the world we are primed to notice. It is not solving problems or experiencing distress that hurts us, it is ONLY experiencing distress and focusing on painful things (that often grab our attention more easily) that can distort experience and create lasting feelings of unrest, depression, anxiety and rob us of a basic sense of safety and stability.

So, today, on this very cold and rainy day, I am grateful for my house that is warm and dry, for my cup of tea that is warm, and for the fact that I am here able to write and interact with people I care about and even those I don’t know.

Peace.

Michele

Guided gratitude practice:

I have been reflecting on how and why people practice mindfulness. Mindfulness can be thought of as self-care and often we do self-care only when we are calm and relaxed. In other words, when conditions are perfect, then we relax, light a candle, or take a bath. Ironically, those are the times when we are actually probably most mindful and connected. In the times we most need mindfulness we often feel that it is trivial or that it should “wait till we have time,” or until conditions are optimal.

Once I worked with someone who said she needed a quiet place to practice mindfulness. The reality is that it is wonderful to practice in a loud day room, or when you are in traffic, or annoyed waiting for the cable guy. Being mindful is a commitment…a lifestyle. Living mindfully means living with intention. It means that you will work over and over again to bring yourself back from distractions, self-centeredness, attachment, fear, worry, and rumination, through your breath…to the present moment. You will do it whether you feel like it or not and when you would prefer to avoid or ignore. Why should we do this?

Have you ever noticed that what feels terrible and unsolvable at one moment…say when you are tired or overwhelmed or in emotional pain, feels very different the next day? Buddhism talks about seeing reality without distortion. But how can one do that? Which one is real? The panic and fear, or the idea that something is unpleasant, but not permanent? Regular mindfulness practice produces clarity and reduces distortion. It also reduces feelings of panic and being overwhelmed.

To get the maximal benefits of mindfulness, we can’t treat mindfulness like a sporadic leisure activity, nor can we only seek it out when we are stressed. Making a commitment to being mindful every day for as much of your day as you can is the goal. We practice brief mindfulness practices each day to get us set and to connect to our intentions, but we live connected to our senses and the world around us. Regular mindfulness practice creates natural, more effortless connection to the present where we can live without fear or distortion. It affords us the ability to calm ourselves and focus in the face of whatever comes our way.

So for today’s practice, the goal is to just to notice your breath and return to it from any distractions you may have. Breathe and notice your thoughts as they come and go. Do this without losing the sensation of your breath coming in and out. Each time that you find yourself distracted, recognize yourself for noticing, and recommit to the practice on your next breath.

You can do this in silence or use the following background music (9 minutes)

Be safe and well.

Michele

Today’s mindfulness practice is not only about being connected to the present moment. It is about how we get there and are able to remain connected. Shauna Shapiro, a mindfulness researcher and mindfulness teacher, has emphasized in her definition of mindfulness the concept of “kind attention.”

Kind attention is a gentleness with one’s self and others. The Dalai Lama  speaks about cultivating warm affection for one’s self and others. Interestingly, kind attention for self is almost essential if one is going to be compassionate to others. Yet, achieving kind attention in our practice and towards ourselves can be elusive.

Today’s mindfulness practice is designed to assist in cultivating an attitude of kind attention. Most of the practice is just learning about mindfulness, practice, and kind attention and then asking you to do one tiny 10 second practice.

Please take a few minutes and listen to this TED Talk by Dr. Shauna Shapiro

Then, simply take a breath, put your hand on your heart and say, Good Morning (and say your name). That’s it…If you believe you could benefit from growing kind attention, begin every morning this way.

Michele

There is a strong body of research that indicates the value of being outside in nature. Studies have shown that individuals who spend regular time outside experience benefits such as lower blood pressure and lower stress hormone levels. Using our senses to connect to nature has been demonstrated to reduced nervous system arousal (this means to calm our bodies) and also to enhance our immune system. Being close to green grass, birds, trees or water has also been demonstrated to reduce anxiety and to improve mood and provide a sense of well-being. One study on individuals who were hospitalized showed that regular contact with nature reduced feelings of isolation and lifted mood.

So, today’s practice involves nature. If you would like a brief way to do this as a start to your day, Sit and listen to this clip 3 minute of nature.

Breathe in and out as you pay attention to the sounds you would hear in nature. Interestingly, while actually being outside is great, our body responds the same way to tapes of nature sights and sounds.

Then, the task, if possible, is to actually get outside later in the day, and each day this week, to walk or run or just to sit. Make it your intention to connect to nature using your senses and your breath. Walk and notice the feel of your feet walking or striking the earth (if you are running), look around, breathe deeply and pay attention to the sounds around you.

Be well!

Michele

It has been over a month since many of us began sheltering in place here in New York City. For those living in hospitals or other facilities, days may seem long with even less freedom than normal. You may notice a favorite staff member absent and have little information about what is going one with them. The New York Times reported that in NYC alone, over 10,000 people have died from the Corona Virus. Most everyone in the Northeast knows someone who has died, or through degrees of separation knows someone close to them who has experienced a significant loss. This is true, or will be true, across the nation and the globe.

The normal rituals that we use to aid in processing death and dying are gone. The typical ways in which we comfort others in their losses are gone. We aren’t attending wakes or funerals. There is no sitting shiva, no community Salat al-Janazah. Instead, our days are filled with elaborate sanitizing routines, home schooling, and struggling to adapt our work and family lives, and just getting through each day. There is little time to grieve for some. Others are grieving without the physical support and closeness of friends, family, or other people who might offer comfort.

The unfairness stings. A friend told me she was alternating between a sadness in her chest that felt staggering and a sensation that it couldn’t be real. This is the experience of trauma.  Usually, when someone older dies you will hear people say, “he lived a good life,” or “at least she didn’t suffer.” Here, there are no simple or comforting statements that explain the sudden, unexpected, and profound recent losses. Moreover, the sheer magnitude of the number of people processing loss right now is overwhelming. It touches everyone. What can we do in situations like this? We can, of course, do our best to reach out to people virtually on Facetime, the telephone, or email. But, what else can we do to help ourselves and others?

I think two things can be helpful. First, for ourselves, we can stay present with the sadness and loss… science tells us that not avoiding is the best way to prevent problems later. We can feel, and also engage in daily things we need to do. We can take breaks from sadness with pleasant activities or by seeking out a friend. We need to do our best not to avoid and also not to amplify feelings by watching the news excessively or ruminating (holding on and refusing to actually feel the sensation of an emotion). The goal is balance. This is where mindfulness helps. We can notice thoughts and feelings as they arise, breathing in and registering them, and then they usually make way for the next moment.

The second thing we can do when we aren’t virtually or physically connecting with others is to offer love and kindness for ourselves and others. This mindfulness practice reminds us that pain does not go on forever, and despite what we feel, things are and will be ok. Loving Kindness Practices generate feelings of compassion and well-being.

So, today’s practice will be a child’s loving kindness, play the music clip below and read the following statements. If reading for a group, read each line and let the group repeat…

Breathe in slowly and exhale three times, then begin saying in your mind the following words:

May I be happy, health and peaceful

My I let go of sadness and bad feelings

May I be free from anger

May I be free form pain

May I be free from suffering

May I be happy, healthy and peaceful

May I be filled with loving kindness

May I be at peace

Now, think of someone you feel good feelings for. Notice the feeling it generates in your heart to think of them. Continue to breathe slowly in and out for three breaths. and then say…

I spread this loving kindness out

I send love to those I know

I spread this loving kindness out

I send love to anyone who is sad or suffering

May they be happy, health and peaceful

My they let go of sadness and bad feelings

May they be free from anger

May they be free form pain

May they be free from suffering

May they be happy, healthy and peaceful

May they be filled with loving kindness

May they be at peace

Continue to breathe in and out slowly for three breaths, and say…

I spread this loving kindness out

I send love to anyone who is sad or suffering

May they be happy, health and peaceful

My they let go of sadness and bad feelings

May they be free from anger

May they be free form pain

May they be free from suffering

May they be happy, healthy and peaceful

May they be filled with loving kindness

May they be at peace

Take one last breath. End the music.

May you experience peace throughout the day, no matter what the day brings.

Michele

Loving-Kindness Mindfulness

Today’s exercise involves the practice of loving kindness. This practice involves repeating phrases designed to generate feelings of care for oneself and others. In Buddhism, loving-kindness can be described as a mental state or an attitude that is achieved and maintained with practice. It is the act of generating unconditionally warm, nonjudgmental feelings towards yourself and others. The key to this practice is the warm, positive feelings.

Research has demonstrated that even short loving kindness practices have profound effects on our behavior and quality of life. Loving-Kindness practices are among the most effective for self-care. If you are caring for others personally, if you worry about people–but are not physically close to them, if you know someone who is ill, if you are responsible for many people and experience frustration at limitations on your ability to help…this practice can be very useful. It is a way of doing for others even when it might feel you have little control over their circumstances or your own.

Perhaps, you are feeling depleted from stress or from giving to others. You need to feel cared for. Again, engaging in a loving kindness practice is a way to restore your own level of energy.  It is a way to stop perfectionism. It is also a way to stop acting in small, uncaring, or unthoughtful ways. Think of it as being the best you, by seeing and honoring yourself. It can be one of the best ways to avoid burn out or to recover from burn out and to restore a sense of wholeness, well-being and connectedness to others.

This is one of my favorite practices. This morning, as I do this practice, I’ll be thinking of each of you…those of you I know well, those of you I have met once or twice, and those people I have never met.

Please click this link to follow along with this special version of loving kindness. If you can see the video, use eyes open as visuals add to this experience.

Hope this impacts your day just a little. Go back to this practice as often as you find helpful.

Peace,

Michele

We often think of mindfulness meditations as linked with Buddhism, and today, the concept of mindfulness as it is used in psychology, business, and the health sciences draws heavily on Eastern mindfulness traditions. But, in fact, all major religions have had contemplative practices at some point in their history. Julian of Norwich was a Christian Mystic who lived in the middle ages during the time of the Black Plague. Julian was an anchoress who lived in solitude, but many people sought her counsel. Julian authored the oldest surviving book by a woman, called Revelations of Love, in which she detailed a series of sixteen visions she had while experiencing a severe illness that she eventually recovered form. Records indicate that she lived from 1342 until 1416, a remarkable age for that time period.

Many comparisons have been made between the plague in the Middle ages and today. In fact, social isolation, quarantining, and the use of masks originated during this tumultuous period in history. For today’s mindfulness, I  thought it would be useful to consider the wisdom of a woman who lived through similar circumstances, and to use her words as a mindfulness practice today. One of the best known quotes by Julian is,“All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.” …

For today’s practice, sit comfortably, take a deep breath, and click the attached link. The instrumental piece you will hear was written by Hildegard Von Bingen, a student of Julian’s.

The practice will last approximately 5 minutes. Click the link below and as you listen to the music, breathe in and out and repeat the phrase, all will be well…If you get distracted, breathe in and redirect your attention to the phrase, all will be well.

When you are finished, take one last deep breath and make a promise to yourself that as stressful things arise during the day, you will breathe in and recall that all will be okay.

Be well.

Michele

Many mindfulness practices involve sitting and focusing on breath. They are valuable practices, because they help us to train our minds to shift towards or away from things as we need in order to be more comfortable, to tolerate things we can’t control, or to be more effective and productive in our lives. There are also many active mindfulness practices. These can include walking, yoga, washing dishes, or as in today’s practice…cleaning.

Marie Kondo is a Japanese organizing consultant whose message is that cleaning and tiding can be “life changing.” She advocates for mindful attention to our things and how we keep them. She asks people to go through their drawers and to touch each item and consider if it is essential, if it is useful, and if it sparks a feeling of joy in them. She advocates letting go of things that are neither essential nor spark joy.

Another quick story…I visited a juvenile facility that operated using military rules and principles, and also taught mindfulness and other skills. Each boy there took pride in showing me his drawer which contained tightly rolled t-shirts and clothing. Their beds were made with tight corners, and their shoes shined. They explained how they liked to keep their things this way and how it required attention and patience.  They said their practice translated into calm and order in their lives. The act of cleaning and organizing mindfully, and maintaining order throughout the day was a mindfulness practice. When they were upset of angry, they would go to their drawers and fold.

So today, the practice is to choose your intention around cleaning or organizing. Pick a drawer or a room to organize. You can practice Marie Kondo-style… clearing clutter and leaving things that bring you joy, you can organize and clean with military precision, or you can simply throw yourself into sweeping or dusting or laundry. The practice can be as short or as long as you have time for. Try not to judge yourself for all the things you wish you could do or need to do. In fact, if you have a large pile of laundry, leave a tiny bit, just to teach you about acceptance. If you maintain a practice, there will always be laundry. The idea of today’s practice is the activity itself…not the end goal…It is cultivating attention to our things and engaging with respect and care that is the act of mindfulness.

As I was writing this, my cat jumped past the fireplace screen into cold ashes from yesterday and dashed out. I had a plan for my mindful cleaning practice today, but I think she just changed it.

Have a meaningful practice and a peaceful day.

Michele

It is a rainy day here where I am writing to you. One of the principles of mindfulness is doing what is effective. Rain is soothing and helps to wash things away. Being effective means not wishing for sun, rather using what is here in the present. So, today I ask you to consider for a moment the emotion of anger and where and when it is effective in your life.

Anger is a very interesting emotion. Unlike fear which is really only justified if something is actually a danger to you in the present moment, anger is almost always justified. In other words, anytime something blocks you from getting something you want or anytime you are misunderstood or treated unfairly, anger makes sense and it is justified. The problem, however, is that anger is not always effective. When is it ineffective? Anger is counterproductive when it is so intense that it interferes with your ability to communicate effectively, or when it creates urges to say or do things that are not consistent with who you want to be. Anger is also unhelpful when it lingers, creating long lasting unpleasant feelings for you which make it harder to get through your day and your life.

To be clear, anger has a purpose. It tells us when we have been wronged; anger provides energy to change things you can change. However, anger about something in the past or anger about things you can’t change can be something you wish to let go of.

There are many things right now that can make us angry. Being socially isolated from friends and perhaps in too close quarters with people we are sheltering with can make us angry and irritable. The fact that innocent people are suffering, the fact that important plans have been cancelled–all of these things can make us angry.

One last fact about anger. It is not an all or nothing emotion. It comes in gradations from irritated to annoyed, to very angry, to rageful. We can, if it is helpful, choose to reduce anger just a bit or try to let it go altogether depending on how the emotion is affecting us today and how useful it is for us.

Today’s mindfulness practice asks you to consider any anger you might be holding today and think about its usefulness. First set your timer for 7 minutes (or however much time you want to practice for). Sit and try to find anger about a situation or a person that you would like to reduce or that you’d like to let go of.

When your bell to begin rings, take a few deep breaths and as you exhale let go of physical tension in your body. This is often where we hold anger, in our jaws and our shoulders. Adopt a position of willingness, palms facing upwards, and keep a soft tiny, half-smile on your face. This is one practice where you may wish to keep eyes closed.

Continue to breathe in and out, listening to the rain sounds on this clip, releasing tension and judgments with each exhale. Allowing the sound of rain and your breathing to melt resentment.

When the timer rings signifying the end of your practice, open your eyes, breathe deeply, and make it your intention to notice things that prompt anger in you today. If you do not wish to feel angry or if it is counterproductive for you in its intensity, take a deep breath and recall this morning’s practice, and allow the feeling to leave making way for the next moment.

Be well today.

Michele

We have all been quarantining, self-isolating, or sheltering. People have experimented with new ways to stay connected…therapy on telephones, meetings on Zoom, school from home. For those who are living with others, there are cherished times and challenging times. People are picking up old hobbies and finding ways to occupy themselves.

Some days though, you are just bored. You feel “at loose ends,” unsure of what you should do, unable to find anything to amuse you. Researchers say that being bored is good for stimulating creativity. But some of you may be thinking, “enough already.” Boredom is closely linked to frustration and frustration is not a comfortable place to sit.

So, today’s mindfulness practice is designed to help us to escape boredom. In the emotion world, boredom is often characterized as an inability to “upregulate” your body and emotions. It is failing to fully engage. What makes us fail to engage, when a multitude of activities are available? The first reason we don’t engage is willfulness. We have discussed willfulness before. In Zen, willfulness is the desire to be in control. We want to choose our activity and it may not be available, so we say, “There is nothing to do!”

The second reason we are bored is that we are tired of the same activities. We think we have done them and that they are not interesting. In other words, we decide ahead of time what the activity will be like. This is the opposite of mindfulness. In mindfulness, we can practice breathing every day and the experience is unique each time. A deep mindfulness practice requires Beginner’s Mind. Beginner’s Mind, also known as Shoshin, is seeing the world with fresh eyes, with a sense of curiosity, letting go of preconceived ideas, open to possibilities. Even if you have done an activity many times before, experience it like it is the first time. This makes you engage with your senses and with details you may not have noticed before. It also takes away boredom.

Practice:

So, for today’s practice, when you are ready, take a deep breath and click on the following link. The task is to fully engage with the images and music using your senses. It is new for you, and the images and sounds change, so it is a nice way to practice Shoshin. If you find yourself bored, go back to your senses with attention. What do you see or hear?

When the music stops, turn off youtube and breathe deeply twice. Reflect on what it felt like to be fully engaged and open to what came next.

Now, for the rest of your day, pick a few things you find boring or routine to you and try to engage the same way with senses. Eat meals mindfully, walk mindfully, speak to others and observe them mindfully as if it is the first time you have encountered them. Practice Beginner’s Mind in all you do today.

Thank you for practicing with me…

Today, I thought we would talk about loneliness. Loneliness is in the sadness family. Loneliness is experienced when one is alone and unhappy about it. Being alone can be experienced as solitude (which may be peaceful or pleasant) or it can be experienced as a sense of wanting to be connected to others and related feelings of sadness.

The Buddhist view on loneliness is that periods of loneliness can useful. In moments of loneliness, we are able to explore parts of ourselves and the world that we might otherwise miss. However, balance is everything. Chronic loneliness, or being set apart from the world, is not good for your health. It lowers immunity and is linked depression, to a host of physical problems, and to higher rates of mortality. We can and should reach out to others and engage virtually or from 10 feet away! But sometimes, we are still lonely.

Research has shown that mindfulness decreases feelings of loneliness. Mindfulness helps in at least three ways. The first way is that accepting being alone can transform loneliness into solitude that has pleasant moments. The second way that mindfulness helps is to see yourself in connection to the entire world which dissipates loneliness. The third way mindfulness helps is that mindfulness can give us self-compassion which soothes and nurtures you.

So, today’s practice will allow you to explore mindfulness, but also to move through it to connectedness.

Breathe and then play this clip

(If leading a group read the following out loud, if alone set a timer for your practice and then read to yourself)

Notice the feelings in your body? Are you feeling sadness, or an ache in your chest? Are you missing anyone? Perhaps you are in a place in your life where you do not have connections to anyone and wish you did. You can build connections, but for now, you can practice. You can experience sadness without suffering.

Whatever you are feeling now, continue to breathe and listen to the music. Jazz is often unpanned and intimately connected to others. Listen to all the musical links and connections. Now, think for one moment about how we are all connected to each other. If our recent times have taught us anything it is that each of our actions are connected. If any feelings of sadness arise, just notice them with empathy and compassion for yourself. Do not judge yourself or tell yourself you should be doing or feeling anything different. Just breathe and offer yourself comfort. Imagine holding yourself like a parent might cradle a child, continue to breathe in and out.  Hold onto nothing. With each exhale, bring your attention to the music and know that in this moment you are connected to the music. You are connected to all the people who practice this very mindfulness today. You are not alone.

(leader wait 1 full minute more and then turn off clip. Ask people what they noticed.)

Now, notice this state. Throughout your day, do not be afraid of lonely feelings. Embrace them, show yourself compassion, and you will hurt less. Dive into the natural world…take a walk and feel connected to the universe. Speak to anyone around you, close or not, and pay attention to their feelings and the interaction. Make a call…Nurture yourself by putting up something you like to look at or listen to music you enjoy. Finally, remember that everything is temporary and that this period will pass and, in the meantime, find ways to make it a little easier on yourself.

Have a peaceful day.

Today’s mindfulness in about cultivating joy and contentment in one’s life.

What brings joy? Having connections to people and activities that are important, achieving goals, noticing beauty in the world. All of these things may bring happiness. When we see a movie with a happy ending, we experience a positive emotion. When we see a child full of laughter and happiness, we smile. When we see or get to be with a sweet dog or cat, we experience pleasant feelings.

Mindfulness is about training your mind so that you tune into those moments and so that you do not notice or weigh unpleasant moments any more than pleasant ones. But, if we are honest, there are times when life circumstances provide an imbalance of negative experiences. That does not mean that even through difficulties we cannot experience joy. Anne Frank wrote of joy, even as she hid in an attic, in fear of Nazi’s. How is this possible? Connecting to each moment without distorting means that some  moments will offer contentment, joy, or happiness. Today’s practice though is for times when you would like to experience happiness, safety, joy, or contentment, even if that is your current experience. Thich Nhat Hanh said the following…

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile,

but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.

Modern neuroscience tells us that neuronal pathways are like roads through the woods. The more we travel the path, the faster we can go. So if we practice breathing every day, we will get to calm much quicker because our breath makes it a familiar route that is well traveled. What is very interesting though is that those pathways go both ways. So if I see something sweet, I experience happiness, and my face naturally smiles. The two are connected…the experience of joy and the smile. We tend to think the sweet thing makes us smile (and it does), but because the smile and the emotion are connected almost imperceptibly, they happen together always. So, if you want to experience the feeling, all you need to do is to control your facial expression. Remarkably, if I sit and gently smile, it is associated in my brain with the experience of joy. This means that we can access joy whenever we want, through the experience of a gentle smile.

For Today’s practice, sit comfortably and prepare. Take a few breaths in and out. Look at the images of the Dalai Lama and this baby. They both have expressions of joy or contentment. For the baby it is a natural expression, derived from the fact that she is fed, relaxed, and resting. For the Dalai Lama, it is an intentional practice. Your task will be to hold your face in a position of contentment like these two images. You may wish to scrunch up your face and then relax it so it’s easier to adopt the half-smile. The trick is to have just the corners of your mouth upturned. You can close your eyes and imagine smiling with your eyes. If it is easier, you can begin by thinking about someone or something that naturally brings a feeling of joy to you. Then you will practice by breathing while half smiling. If you like, you can say, “breathing in, I know all is well in this moment, breathing out I smile…”

Try this practice for 10 minutes. When practiced, it generates feelings of joy and a feeling of well-being. You can do the half-smile for joy, you can do it while angry (to shift feelings), you can do it while walking…

I believe this mindfulness practice is the single fastest way to feel the impact of mindfulness in your life. Try it…

Michele

I think it is safe to say that we are all getting tired of self-isolation and the discipline of keeping our environments and ourselves safe and clean. Today, I thought we would focus our practice on the concept of persistence.

I work with an amazing group of professionals and girls at an agency called POETIC. The Mission of POETIC is to equip girls who have experienced child maltreatment, sexual exploitation, and sex trafficking to find their voices, reclaim their narratives, and persist forward.  I thought, who better to consider as a model for persistence in our lives than the women and girls of POETIC. So, ladies, thank you for the inspiration for today’s mindfulness practice!

A bedrock principle of POETIC is that youth are not defined by their circumstances or their experiences, that each moment is fresh and holds possibility for movement forward. However, actualizing this is not easy or simple. It requires letting go of doubt and messages you have been told about yourself or that your mind tells you about yourself and the world that it’s too hard or you can’t overcome things. It requires not judging yourself in your sincere efforts. Change requires patience and determination, and lots of work. What is required to move forward is persistence. Simply put not giving up…sticking with it. Mindfulness, is one tool that helps POETIC girls to move forward towards creating the life that each girl wants to live.

Persistence refers to perseverance in spite of fatigue or frustration. Persistence has been measured and studied in psychology as a personality trait…something about a person ‘s temperament that is stable. However, recent research has demonstrated that mindfulness practice can increase a person’s willingness to persist in the face of difficulties. This, of course, makes complete sense when we consider that mindfulness practice is all about setting a task for one’s self and then catching yourself when you lose focus, and bringing yourself back to the task over and over with persistence and determination. When we practice mindfulness, we learn at least two things: 1) we train our brain to actually stay on task and connected to the present moment, and 2) we train ourselves, like an athlete, to persist despite frustration, fatigue, or obstacles. What great training for overcoming anything in life.

So today, sit tall and breathe, noticing  any feelings fatigue or frustration take a few deep breaths and watch the brief practice on persistence.

For the rest of your day, and your life, remember that persistence can be developed. You just need to practice. When you have any frustrations or obstacles today, take a breath and keep at it without judgment, over and over until you overcome the obstacle.

I wish you good training!

Michele

People say there are things that should never happen like children dying before their parents. It’s true that almost any terrible, sad, painful, unjust action causes immeasurable pain. Large and small injustices create discomfort in the form of despair and anger.

If you read the news or search your personal memory banks, you can find no shortage of painful things. Today’s mindfulness practice cannot take away injustice. It can’t erase things that were done to you or that you witness hurting others. However, what it can do is to help people move from the pain of any injustice to accepting the pain and moving on, without prolonging it, getting stuck in it, or amplifying the pain.

I have seen poster that say pain is part of life, suffering is optional… I do not think it is that simple, because escaping suffering requires effort, a lot of effort…I do think it’s possible though with effort to let go of suffering and to work through pain.

The very best way I know how to do this and how to help people I have worked with to do this is to teach them the skill of radical acceptance. It is making a choice to accept a situation, your feelings about it, and to plow through it rather than avoid or throw our hand up…

We can’t just yell at ourselves and bend our feelings into submission. We can, however, make a decision to that we will strive to accept. The easiest way to strive for this is to sit and practice accepting with our body and then our brain and heart will follow. The following script walks you through radical acceptance.

Try this experience. If you cannot access, there is a posture called the half smile. Many of you know it. You can choose to do half-smile instead. Here is a brief half smile instruction if you do not know the half-smile and if you prefer to do this practice.

If you remember turning the mind from yesterday, whenever judgment or refusal to accept arise, you can turn the mind back to half smile or accepting with your breath and body.

I hope it relieves suffering and I wish for everyone as little pain as possible.

Peace.

Michele

There are usually rhythms and schedules that structure and mark movement through our days and weeks. For many of us, these routines are disrupted. Today, is a Sunday. It is cloudy where I am, as if it isn’t sure whether it wants be a Spring day or not. For many of us, we are sort of moving through our days, and our days and activities have changed, but sometimes we are not sure if we are really going to engage in this new day (one that we haven’t really chosen.) Engaging reluctantly, or partially, or waiting out the day, is not fully living.

It is especially hard to dive into a weekend day when that might look very different than our past weekends. Weekends are typically where we socialize, rest, and recharge. It is a day when you can sit by the TV. But, when we have all spent a lot more time than usual watching TV and movies, it can be more monotonous or boring than relaxing. It can be helpful to make a conscious choice to relax and recharge.

Today’s mindfulness is a practice to self-soothe and recharge yourself. This comes from the app Calm which offers many great practices. Get comfortable and listen carefully to the instruction and the sounds of this practice.

For the rest of the day, try to choose activities that are different from the week: take some time to focus on a call, write a note to someone, take an afternoon nap, read something for fun or play a game. Whatever it is, make sure it is something you choose and make sure not to consider it a second choice (not “I guess I will do this because I’m stuck inside). Rather, accepting your options today, choose something that is pleasant, relaxing, or fun, and fully engage with it.

Michele

As I look out my window this morning and hear the birds, the ground in covering in a light blanket of late season snow. Tomorrow’s forecast predicts a sunny 60 degree day. It’s hard to keep up with changes day to day. Mindfulness is paying attention, on purpose, in a particular way. That particular way is without judgment or attachment. I can take in the sight, smell, and feel of snow or I can wish it were warm and sunny. The first way is mindful and the second, actually creates unpleasant sensations. Any time we do not get what we want, we feel deprived.

Have any of you ever done that about the start of your day? Wished it was an hour earlier and you could have more sleep? Or wished it wasn’t so cold, or hot, or early, or dark? Sometimes one of the hardest things that we can do is to wake up and accept that the day is here.

Yoga provides a way to accept and engage with the day, using your body to connect to the world and your day. Sun Salutations are a series of stretches that flow into one another and that energize the body to begin your day. Sun Salutations have been used for centuries as a way to honor the new day and to greet the morning. Now, the thing is that all of you probably have very different levels of experience with yoga practice. So, I am going to include two links that are both appropriate for beginners. If you have a practice, do your practice. But if yoga is new to you, try one of the short practices below. Neither requires a yoga mat…

The first two links are not sun salutations but they are very brief stretching yoga very safe for beginners or any age…

Chair stretching

7 minute practice (for older adults)

If you have a yoga mat, and a bit of experience, try this traditional sun salutation practice

Now you have greeted your day. Notice if your day is any different when you begin it by accepting and greeting the day.

Peace,

Michele

Have you ever had days where you are trying not to think about something upsetting, but it seems like you can’t stop thinking about that very thing? You tell yourself not to think about it, but it comes back stronger? Many people right now are finding it difficult not to think about their health, the health of others, finances, etc…Many people have had painful things from their past that they find it difficult to move past. Maybe it is a current problem that you can’t control.

Whether something is painful or pleasant, we need to notice or attend to the problem. It’s the way we make good choices in our life and create the kind of life we want. But, once we know what we need to know from any situation, the information ceases to be useful and can cause us unnecessary suffering…running something over and over again in our mind, along with the unpleasant emotion (fear, anger, sadness) it brings.

It is hard, if not impossible, to tell yourself to stop thinking about something. As soon as I decide I am going on a diet, all I can think about is chocolate cake and Hershey’s Kisses. The whole point of mindfulness is that all of these practices we do each day are training or disciplining our minds. When you train your mind, then you can control your emotions and behavior so you can make choices in order to have your best life possible.

So, how can you turn off an unpleasant thought, script or feeling that seems stuck? The trick is not to tell your mind to stop thinking about it, it IS TO TELL YOUR MIND WHAT TO NOTICE.

In other words, we can more easily direct our full attention towards something else…almost anything else. Make a cup of tea and notice the smell, then take a shower and notice the feeling of the warm water. Attending to the present moment gives us relief from painful or unnecessary worries.

But, you say the thoughts or worries keep coming back. Indeed they do, so the practice of mindfulness needed is what we call “turning the mind.” It is making a decision or commitment not to think about something when it is not useful to do so or when it is not useful to do so excessively. Make a commitment to watch news once or twice a day only rather than a steady stream. Whatever is troubling you, assuming you are making or have made steps to do what you can to address it, make yourself a promise that you will notice when it comes back and turn your attention to something else. Dive into noticing anything other than the upsetting thought. You need to do this over and over. When you do, you will notice that eventually, the worry becomes less intrusive.

MINDFULNESS PRACTIICE

So the practice for today is to sit comfortably. Take a deep breath in and call to mind something that causes you unpleasant emotions today. Make a commitment to turn towards something else. Using your senses is helpful. Notice something you see, or smell, notice the taste of your breakfast, do a puzzle, talk to someone about their problems, do exercise and notice your heart rate go up…you have the idea. Now the practice for today (all day today) is to continue to do this turning of the mind, intentionally, away from what’s bothering you towards something else you can lock into using your senses.

I wish you a peaceful and productive day!

Michele

One of the ways in which mindfulness helps us in life is that when we are at once noticing our thoughts, emotions, and urges and also have access to the logical parts of our mind, we are able to live our values and make the best decisions possible. We can act to actualize goals. For instance, you might wake up and feel tired and exhausted. Your body is telling you to ignore the day, to sleep, to stay in bed. You might be fearful of how you will manage the day. However, if you know that getting up and active will ultimately make you feel better, you can tell yourself, “I am noticing that my body is tired and that I am dreading the day and I also know that I will feel differently when I get up and get active.” So, you might choose to recognize and then override your fear and dread of the day, stretch your tired body, get up, have coffee, and begin your day. We can think of this state…aware of emotions and urges and also connected to our rational self as Wise Mind. In order to get to wise mind, we have to develop this ability to observe our own experience without judgment. This is where practice comes in. It takes a lot of practice to notice feelings without being swallowed up by them. It takes a lot of practice to notice a thought and to actually consider if the thought is true, false, or maybe a little true but exaggerated without getting swept up in a cascade of thoughts that lead one to the other without discernment.

Mindfulness practice involves noticing the world around us. It also involves observing our inner thoughts, feelings, and body sensations moment by moment as they happen. It is often easiest, when we are practicing to develop our mindful attention, for us to focus on concrete things that provide strong sensations. For instance, holding and feeling a clementine-noticing the smell as you peel it, noticing the taste and redirecting yourself back to those sensations any time you have a distracting thought…the strong sensations of the clementine make the task clear and helps us to develop abilities that can then be used to focus in the middle of an emotional argument.

One of the strongest sensations that we have is our sense of smell. It also often links to memories. When I smell bread baking, I am instantly reminded of being at my grandmother’s home which was a quiet and peaceful place. You heard yesterday about an unpleasant time in my life in my noisy, unpleasant apartment. This apartment was also two blocks from a wonderful bread shop and walking to the bread shop and smelling fresh bread baking and buying a fresh loaf brought instant good feelings. Any pleasant smell can help us to focus our attention and can generate pleasant feelings.

For today’s practice, you will need to set up before you begin. For those in facilities, you will need essential oil with a dropper, or scented lotion that you can dispense without touching people. For those at home, choose anything with a smell that you like. You can choose lavender, or orange, or even baby lotion…anything that generates a pleasant scent. There will be no background sounds with this practice, and if it not quiet where you are, that’s completely fine. The idea of this practice is to turn your attention away from sights and sounds around you and from any thoughts in your head and to just notice the smell while you are breathing in and out. If using lotion, you can also notice the sensation of your hands as you rub the lotion into your skin.

If leading a group, begin by distributing scent onto hands of participants. Ready the bell timer from the link below (forward past adds until you see Three Minute Silent Mindfulness and then pause.) Read the instruction…When you hear the bell, pay attention to the sensation of smell. Just direct your attention to smell, breathing deeply in and out at whatever pace feels comfortable. If distracted, try to gently bring your attention back to the smell on your next in-breath. Continue until you hear the ending bell. The practice will be three minutes.

Throughout the day, try to notice your own thoughts and feelings moment by moment, just like you noticed the oil or lotion on your hands and its smell. That’s it–nothing more than noticing. Just noticing can be transformative. It is essential for making wise-mind choices.

Enjoy the weekend.

Michele

Today, I would like to share with you some information about mindfulness in Thich Nah Hanh’s own words. He describes mindfulness as, “the energy that helps us to recognize the conditions of happiness that are already present in our lives.” He goes on, “You don’t have to wait ten years to experience this happiness. It is present in every moment of your daily life.” He notes that we often live in a state of forgetfulness–being here, but not really here…having divided attention. He says, “You are caught in the past or the future.” But he teaches us that when we ruminate on things we regret or get stuck in fears or anxiety about the future, we can return to the present instantly through our breath that is always here for us. There is some degree of happiness in breathing in oxygen and knowing we are alive. Through connecting to our body, our mind, and our surroundings, we can draw on the energy of mindfulness for whatever we need. Thich Nhat Hahn has said that our breath is always available…it is always there for us to take refuge in.

Breathing is the great equalizer, it costs nothing. Moments of peace and even joy are possible in good times, as well as in times of pain. In fact, it is often that we are more acutely aware of acts of kindness that bring us joy or relief when we are suffering. I remember a time in my life during graduate school when I lived in an apartment that was very tiny; it was above a bar in the South Bronx. Walking from the train to my apartment was scary as indeed I had been robbed once trying to get home from the library. I had run out of my student loans, owed my landlords (who were nice enough not to throw me out until my next loan check arrived.) I was living alone and lonely. A friend of mine sent me a package containing a fashion magazine, a funny card, a clay face mask, and a large bar of chocolate. That evening, when I read the magazine and ate that chocolate was pure joy…relief in a sea of difficult tasks.

If we reflect on these teachings, we need to ask ourselves how many times we have said, I will be happy when this is over, or when I have done this or that, or I will relax if I have time at the end of the day. Breathing takes no more time. Today’s practice involves finding your happiness now because it is always available. Through breathing in oxygen, filling our lungs to capacity, and breathing out, we know we are alive. We know our lungs and our bodies are functioning. By connecting to something beautiful, even if only for one second…to stop and notice it, we know happiness…

Practice: First, fast forward past the ads so that when you click the link, you will begin with nature sounds. Adjust your volume to a soft background so that sounds are not overwhelming. Breath is the primary focus of this practice.

Now, stretch your back. Curve forward hunching our back, then breathe and sit tall, ready to begin…

Click the following:

Focus your attention simply on the sensation of your breath coming in through your nose, filling your lungs, cresting, and then leaving your body on the exhale. If you like, you can silently say to yourself, breathing in I know I am alive, breathing out I am content. Continue until the clip ends.

Now, you might want to make a commitment to yourself to breathe deeply today whenever you are worried or struggling or stressed. Commit to allowing in the moments of refuge provided by a single breath. I’m also 100% in favor of mindfulness to chocolate to bring joy, so if that’s available to you as well…enjoy!

Have a peaceful day.

Today’s practice is inspired by tea. If you have tea, or another hot beverage available to you, you will want to have it near you, ready to prepare. If you do not, you may substitute by watching a clip I have included below depicting a very brief version of the Japanese Tea Ceremony.

Some of the people who participate in these daily mindful practices that I write each day are residents of a Cottage called Lazarus. Good Morning folks at Lazarus! Each morning at Lazarus, the day begins with a hot beverage. For many of us, coffee or tea or hot chocolate is a mini reward for getting up and facing our day. However, we can also use our hot beverage as a mindfulness practice.

For centuries, in many cultures, tea has played an important role. In Japan, the Way of the Tea, evolved into a highly ritualized practice requiring care and attention to the act of making tea, the art of the vessels used to make the tea, and the taste, color, temperature, and smell of making matcha tea. In the mid 16^th century, a shift occurred in tea ceremony. Participants were encouraged to reflect on and to find beauty in natural or imperfect forms like unrefined tea cups and vessels. This aesthetic came to be known as wabi-sabi, or the appreciation of austerity and embracing of the imperfect. How perfect for right now.

For today’s practice, you may begin by assembling what you need to prepare your beverage (for a group, you may distribute cups or have people come up and choose and prepare their beverage silently as part of the practice). Ideal would be an aromatic tea, but any hot beverage you enjoy will do.

Take a deep breath and signal the start of the practice. The instruction is to slowly prepare your beverage quietly with attention to each detail.  When your beverage is ready, read the following quote by Thich Nhat Hanh and then to hold your drink and look at it, feel the temperature, smell its aroma, taste with each sip. Begin…

“Tea is an act complete in its simplicity.
When I drink tea, there is only me and the tea.
The rest of the world dissolves.
There are no worries about the future.
No dwelling on past mistakes.
Tea is simple: loose-leaf tea, hot pure water, a cup.
I inhale the scent, tiny delicate pieces of the tea floating above the cup.
I drink the tea, the essence of the leaves becoming a part of me.
I am informed by the tea, changed.
This is the act of life, in one pure moment, and in this act the truth of the world suddenly becomes revealed: all the complexity, pain, drama of life is a pretense, invented in our minds for no good purpose.
There is only the tea, and me, converging.”
Thich Nhat Hanh

Alternate link for those who are unable to access a warm beverage

Any time you need grounding, you can notice the imperfect in the world and embrace and accept it. You can use a moment with your tea to just drink your tea and to be…

Today, I want to speak to you about the way we begin our day. Often, we begin in negativity before we are even consciously aware. In this way, we invite negative emotions. Perhaps, you had an unpleasant dream, or you were stressed about something the night before. Perhaps you woke up and before you even put a foot on the floor, you were thinking about the least pleasant thing you had to do in the day to come. Mindfulness enables us to be intentional about our thoughts and actions.

What if, instead of attending to the last upsetting thing or fearing the next one, you began the day with intention to be gentle and accepting. How differently would you feel? One of the easiest ways to get your mind to settle is by settling your body first-then the mind follows. We can do this as we are moving to brush our teeth, to make tea or coffee, to prepare to eat breakfast…We can walk not with focus solely on where we are going, but also on how we are going.

We can walk gently. This does not need to be super slow, just with care and attention. The way we walk through the world literally and figuratively can impact our days and our life. The idea of Karma in Buddhism has been misunderstood. A mischaracterization is that you are mean to people in this life and you come back in the next as a cockroach. I am not a Buddhist scholar, but one way to understand karma is the idea that if you radiate kindness and peace, that energy spreads and returns to you in the here and now. Science demonstrates that people who smile to others receive more smiles back.

So today, we will read a brief quote about mindful walking and we will practice walking in a particular way…

Get settled, cue up this timer,

Stand, breathe in and out deeply, then begin the timer and read the following quote:

We have to walk in a way that we only print peace and serenity on the earth… Be aware of the contact between your feet and the earth. Walk as if you are kissing the earth with your feet.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh

Walk until you hear the second chime. When you are finished, noticed what the experience was like. If it was not calm-if it felt annoying, that’s fine. It is difficult to cultivate willingness and attention. Make it your intention to feel your feet on the floor anytime you need to move today. Make an effort to walk with peace as if your feet are kissing the earth. Notice and invite the pleasant in today, even if only in interludes throughout a challenging day.

Be well.

Michele

Good Morning!

Today, I thought I would share my practice this morning with you. The practice is to settle into your breath. There are times in your life when you need to shift focus abruptly…you hear a noise and you need to look to see what it was. But for today’s practice, rather than an abrupt shift, we will coax ourselves into mindfulness. Thich Nhat Hanh said, Life is both dreadful and wonderful.” Have you ever noticed though that we pay more attention to the dreadful? So much so that we might miss little pockets of wonderful. Even small moments of wonder and peace restore us so that we can face the dreadful (or just the irritating).

If you are anything like me, mindfulness is often the last thing you feel like doing when you get up. Perhaps you are thinking of the urgency of all you need to do, or perhaps you are worried for someone and that’s the first thing that grips you in your day. Maybe you are having thoughts that tell you the day will be terrible, or there are no solutions for your problems. Perhaps you have just resigned yourself to suffer…the day will be horrible. All of that is referred to in Zen as forgetfulness…It seems like the problem is more like you can’t forget worries or stressors. It’s called forgetfulness because you are forgetting the present…missing it. We can get stuck in feelings about the past or worries about the impending day. In either case, we ensure we will have a painful day. If, on the other hand, you ground yourself in the present—even for five minutes, you increase the likelihood that you will experience some comfort or pleasant feelings, even if your day does prove to be painful or challenging in parts.

Today’s practice is about connecting to the present by settling into your breath in order to “press reset” on negative thoughts or feelings from yesterday or what you assume today will be like. Sitting in the present moment provides energy to face any hurdles you might be confronted with in the day.

If you cannot open my video, substitute this link and instruction…Pay attention to your physical state, note aches and pains. Do you have a headache? Any Tension? Notice any unwillingness to practice, any urges to skip it. Just observe those thoughts and any experience of preoccupation, worry, or unwillingness for a few breaths. Then, throw yourself into your breath anyway. Find a pace, like a runner might. Whatever pace is comfortable for you. Focus on sounds and on your breath.

When the clip finishes, Read:

Take one last deep breath. Notice that even when you are distracted or in pain, you can get to that focused place by giving yourself a moment to acknowledge what’s causing you upset and gently shifting your focus towards breath. Take a few breaths to settle into it.

I wish you lots of energy to embrace your day!

Michele

Today’s practice focuses on our tendency to get caught up in blame. It is a natural human tendency to want to find someone to blame when our goals are blocked, when we are misunderstood, or when someone accuses us of something. Right now, there is a lot to be upset about. Blaming is understandable. But, blame is tricky because it makes us feel justified, correct, and it validates our position exactly as is. It makes us feel better in the moment, but does not help us in the long run. Blame adds no new information. Most likely, blame alone will not fix the problem. 

In the early days of the AIDS movement, people were angry at the government for ignoring the catastrophic public health crisis. They blamed the CDC for failing to fund research on the issue because of attitudes about the  people who were most likely to develop AIDS at that time-gay men and IV drug users. ACT UP was a group that staged dramatic protests, including throwing blood on computers, that got people’s attention. David France, a historian of the movement, said that in the beginning, “the actions [of ACT UP] had the air of purposeless anger,” and that changed when ACT UP began to deploy its anger strategically. They are credited with demanding and spawning research that transformed AIDS from a death sentence into a manageable condition. 

When something goes wrong in an organization, we often rush to blame a person, rather than investigating the culture or processes present that foster bad actors and perpetuate mistakes. When something goes wrong in our relationships we can blame others, but this alone will not change them. I once worked with someone who said, “my parents mistreated me and each other and it’s their fault I have problems and that I have no one in my life.” It was true that her parents contributed to her relationship problems, but it was also true that if she wanted to be connected to others, she had to go beyond blame and make a plan to change things she needed to in order to get the kind of relationship she wanted.    

Today’s practice helps us to transform blaming into effectiveness.

Begin by sitting upright with your feel on the floor. Breathe in deeply. By now, maybe when you breathe in, some of the practice you have been doing is noticeable. The more you practice, the more this first breath to get ready feels familiar. You can feel yourself settling, becoming more alert to your practice. 

Call to mind someone or something that makes you angry. Notice the urge or action of blaming.

Now click the 5 minute timer:

After the bell, read the following quote from Buddhist Teacher, Phap Dung, 

“We see the mind like a house, so if your house is on fire, you need to take care of the fire, not to go look for the person that made the fire. Take care of those emotions first; it’s the priority. Because anything that comes from a place of fear and anxiety and anger will only make the fire worse. Come back and find a place of calm and peace to cool the flame of emotion down.” Phap Dung

Wait one minute…Then read: 

Breathe in deeply, attending to the emotions you feel about the problem. When you feel yourself blaming and judging, try to observe and describe the situation. Continue to breathe in and out deeply, gently exploring the situation with care and without judgment. Feel your breath transforming emotions associated with simple blame into deeper thoughts about the situation. What can you change? How might you change it? What is not possible to change in this moment? What can you do to accept what you can’t change? Continue breathing and allowing thoughts and feelings to arise. End the practice after the bell.

Throughout the day, see if you can notice any time you find yourself blaming. When you do, take a deep breath, and explore deeper…Breathe and resist urges to act impulsively. Breathe and assess what is the most effective course of action. Then go out and change the world, or at least your world… 

Wishing you moments of peace and clarity today. 

Michele

Good Morning.

Today where I am sitting and writing, it is a rainy day in April. I was wishing for a sunny day. How often do you wish that something was different- or that everything was different? Zen teaches us that much of our own angst comes from putting our energy and attention into wishing things were different. When we accept a situation, we can put our energy into changing it or finding parts of it that are tolerable or even enjoyable.

Begin by thinking about anything you wish was different in your life today. Then, shift from wishing it were different to just noticing the situation. For instance, instead of “I wish I was not quarantined, ”or “today would be better if things were different,” what if you accepted the parameters of your day today and put your energy into just being present and noticing? What can do today while isolating? What is available to you?

For today’s practice we will read a poem. Settle yourself, breathe deeply and read April Rain Song by Langston Hughes, it is a poem about noticing rain. When you notice without judgement, the experience is different…Begin by listening (if you are in a group) or reading silently if you are alone.

April Rain Song by Langston Hughes

Let the rain kiss you.

Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops.

Let the rain sing you a lullaby.

The rain makes still pools on the sidewalk.

The rain makes running pools in the gutter.

The rain plays a little sleep-song on our roof at night—

And I love the rain.

Today, just try to notice your day without judging, describing it like Hughes describes the rain. Have a part of yourself observing moment by moment. As you go about whatever you have to do today. If you are unhappy about something, rather than say, “this is terrible,” say to yourself, I notice that I am unhappy about this. This way, you stay connected to your experience and to both emotional and logical parts of yourself. Then, if you notice that don’t like your day, think about what’s available and how you could make it just a little bit better.

Enjoy the rain today.

Michele

Good Morning!

Today, I thought that we might focus on kindness. Kindness mindfulness practices provide us with access to positive feelings. They make us feel happy and secure and help us to remember that even in difficult times all is not lost.

Another thing about kindness mindfulness practices is that they often generate positive energy. I think energy is something that can be difficult to maintain in our current circumstances. Many of the small interactions that happen every day during life before COVID are absent. Those interactions provided little rewards to keep us motivated. So, today, I thought we could use a kindness practice to generate energy.

What will you use your energy for today? You might need it to focus and to do work. You might need it to be attentive to how you treat other people in your environment. You might need it to find activities to fill your day. One of the great things about the kind of energy generated by this type of practice, is that it is positive energy…not nervous energy or energy derived from anger. Don’t get me wrong, all energy can be helpful and can motivate us to action. But there is a special thing that happens when one has joyful, compassionate energy from kindness practice. Kindness is something that spreads. We are acutely aware how interactions can spread germs quickly. One person touches many who touch many others and so on. Each of us has the ability to impact the people we live with and work with, or even people we are apart from with kindness and good feelings. Just like a virus can spread, so can kind acts and good feelings. When there is tension and sadness and stress, even small kind acts create positive feelings in others and in the environment. When passed on, kind acts multiply and change our environment.

So today’s practice is a very short guided practice in kindness. Please sit comfortably, take a few breaths to settle in and to become ready to practice, click the following link and begin…

Now reflect, do you feel differently than before your practice? With whatever energy or good feelings you notice in yourself, make a decision to do something that will spread that feeling to at least one other person. Try to spread kindness in all you do today.

Be well…

Michele

Those of you who know me, know that I am a science-person. I love it when research and facts line up with clinical wisdom and experience. Today, I want to revisit a concept we have explored before…self-compassion. Self-compassion involves responding in the same supportive and understanding way that you would with a good friend when you yourself have a difficult time, fail at something, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. Guilt and shame are part of being human, but an interesting thing is that we often experience those feelings when, objectively, most people would say we have done nothing wrong. We can often be our own worst critic. Research has shown that this harsh inner critic can become internalized from societal expectations of perfectionism or toughness, or that unjustified feelings of guilt or shame can come from experiencing trauma in our lives.

Today, I’d like to share some science with you about self-compassion and getting through difficult times. Please click this link to watch a very brief TED Talk (less than 2 minutes) by a researcher named Dr. Kristin Neff as she discusses the relationship between self-compassion and resilience.

If you can spare 20 minutes (now or later), I highly recommend watching this longer discussion of Dr, Neff’s research on self-compassion…

For practice today, please settle, take a few breaths and click the following link for a brief guided practice by Dr. Neff designed to cultivate self-compassion.

Now, as you make your way through your weekend try to observe when anything feels difficult to you and instead of blaming yourself or telling yourself to “just do it,” take one moment to say, “this is hard,” like a friend might do.

Enjoy the weekend.

Michele

Have you ever felt that your day is well underway before you wake up? Sometimes we use rituals like a morning cup of coffee to help us to focus and begin our day. Recently, many of our routines and rituals have be disrupted. It can be difficult to find a foothold. We can shuffle around, feeling untethered. What should I do today? What do I need to do today?

Do you ever feel pressure to set goals for your day…a to-do list? Goals are important. Short term goals for the day are the things we would like to achieve or cross off our list at the end of the day. For instance, today I want to clean the bathrooms. An intention, on the other hand, speaks more to how we will move through our day or get things done. In other words, how will I avoid procrastination to clean the bathroom? How will bathrooms fit into the other priorities in my day? What about me might I need to change in order to meet my goals or to meet them more easily, more gently, or with more enjoyment?

Practicing mindfulness often involves something we plan to notice-like our feelings, or something we plan to practice- like nonjudgment, in order to achieve the kind of life we want, or the kind of person we would like to be. Lots of practices guide us on what to focus on. But, ultimately, you are the guide of your own life. Ultimately you know what you need. We have discussed the concept of wise mind before. Wise mind uses things you notice about yourself and how you feel, as well as logic and facts about the world to guide us on the best course of action. Wisdom helps us to know what each of us needs to focus each day to bring us what we want or need.

Today’s practice is a very brief practice designed to help you to begin the day with clarity and to set your own intention. Breathe deeply, settle in and prepare to listen to your own wise mind. Click the following link…

Now that you have spent a little time focused on what you need for the day, remind yourself about your intention for the day—what will you practice today? Your intention involves how you will guide your attention today. How will today be different?

Enjoy your weekend.

Michele

In Chinese symbolism, the heart is considered to be the source of emotions and also the seat of intellect. Recall the concept of wise mind. The way to connect to our own inner wisdom is through the practice of mindfulness. Mindfulness offers us the ability to notice our feelings without acting on urges, and then to factor in logic, judgment and reason. When we honor both intellect and emotion, our actions are more thoughtful and intentional.

Mindfulness practice often asks us to focus on something using our senses. This is interesting because we are born with our senses. In fact, there is evidence that babies can hear even before they are born. One of the first sounds that babies observe is the sound of their mother’s heart beating. So why do we need to practice something we are hard wired to do? Science tells us that we often filter out stimulation we don’t need so we can focus on what is most important at any time. But sometimes we don’t just filter our extraneous information, we ignore vital parts of our experience. Teaching the brain to focus allows us to control our filters, and to make decisions and choose our actions based on all the relevant information. How often do you tell yourself it doesn’t matter how you feel? You don’t always want to act on your feelings, but it’s crucial that we notice and honor our feelings instead of avoiding them, ignoring them or judging them.

Think of today’s practice as training to notice subtle parts of your own experience. Today, you will focus on noticing your own heart beat through your sense of touch. To begin, cue up past ads to get to your mindfulness timer using link below

Now, place your pointer and middle finger together on your neck to the right of your windpipe in order to locate your own pulse. Try to see if you can feel your heartbeat. Take your time–once you know where it is and how to easily find it, click the mindfulness timer to begin.

Locate your pulse again and simply breathe in and out and notice the rate at which your pulse is going. Do not worry if it takes you a minute to locate or notice your heart beating. This is part of the practice. Continue to breathe in and out, staying connected as you observe your heartbeat until your timer chime rings to end your practice.

Was this practice easy for you or difficult? It can be very difficult for us pay attention to our thoughts and emotions closely enough to act from wise mind. As the day goes on, try to notice your own inner experiences just like you noticed your heart beating during this practice. Then, act with awareness and compassion to yourself and others you interact with.

Good day!

In Japan, a practice called shinrin-yoku or forest bathing is popular. In essence it is immersing yourself in nature. Thousands of studies have shown a host of positive effects associated with being in nature. I have included links for you to read about the positive effects of nature on health, and to read more about forest bathing. I hope you find time to read these after your practice.

Research indicates that 2 hours a week of being in nature can be life changing and life sustaining. Many people have a bit more time now. For those working harder than before because of the Corona Virus, you have even more reason to try find a little time to get outside. For those in the Northeast, warmer weather is here and plants are growing, birds are singing, and the sun is shining.

Today, for your practice, dress comfortably for the weather where you are and find a place to sit or walk where you can see trees and grass. For those in cities, take a walk through a park if you can. If you are in the country, even easier. For those who are unable to get outside for any reason, no worries, you can watch the following clip to experience nature.

Practice:

The instruction for the practice is simply to use all your senses to experience nature. When you are outside, look, smell, listen, and touch…If you are watching video, look and listen and you may use your imagination to connect with smells and feelings that are associated with the experience on the nature video clip. Don’t forget to really breathe in and out as you make your way through your practice. Make it as long as time allows.

Clip for virtual practice (less than five minutes)

Clip for virtual practice (20 minutes)

After your practice take a moment to experience gratitude for your time with nature. Consider how much you spend time outside and whether you would like to make time outside with nature a part of your regular habits.

Hoping for some moments of peace in your day today!

Michele

FYI

Information on benefits of nature and forest bathing—

https://time.com/5259602/japanese-forest-bathing/

https://www.dec.ny.gov/lands/90720.html

https://e360.yale.edu/features/ecopsychology-how-immersion-in-nature-benefits-your-health

Denmark consistently ranks as one of the happiest places for people to live. How can this be true when it is dark and cold for much of the time? There is an essential part of the Danish cultural identity referred to as Hygge (pronounced hoo-geh). There really is no American translation for this word, but it can be compared to coziness or taking pleasure in the presence of gentle, soothing things. Wikipedia defines this term as “a mood of coziness and comfortable conviviality with feelings of wellness and contentment.” Hygge is a lifestyle practiced in Denmark. One writer commented that what freedom is to American culture, hygge is to Danes.

It has to do with the idea of savoring the simple, everyday things in life that bring comfort or joy. Candles and a warm blanket on a chilly day, or feeling the sun on your face on a warm day, eating comforting food or enjoying a sweet…all of these can be considered hygge. This way of being also incorporates a philosophy of connectedness to others. So, enjoying a conversation with those you are close to, playing a game, even enjoying a phone call with a friend can be considered hygge.

I think there is a lot that we can learn about self-isolation from hygge. If we truly accepted our circumstances now, there might be real inconveniences, but there is also opportunity for hunkering down, slowing down, and enjoying small things like a cup of hot chocolate or tea.

Today’s mindfulness practice will ask you to use your imagination to see yourself in your ideal hygge scene. Imagine a memory of a time when you have felt connected, content and cozy. Or imagine yourself in a new scene. Maybe you can imagine being in front of a crackling fire with a cup of cocoa or imagine a visit with someone that is effortless and comforting. Cue up this clip of Danish music as your timer and spend about five minutes experiencing virtual hygge. If you get distracted, simply try to bring yourself back to an image of yourself in a simple, pleasant, cozy activity.

When you are done, note the feelings this imaginal five minute break created for you. Consider how you can create this experience in reality. What can you do today to enjoy some time doing something simple and soothing.

I wish you hygge today!

FYI New Yorker article on the concept of Hygge

https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/the-year-of-hygge-the-danish-obsession-with-getting-cozy

I used to work at the Criminal Court Building in lower Manhattan, the one you see on many TV dramas involving criminal court trials. When I exited the building via the back entrance, I would cross a park. At any time in this park one could observe people engaged in the ancient Chinese practice of Qi-gong. Qi-gong can be described as “a mind-body-spirit practice that improves one’s mental and physical health by integrating posture, movement, breathing technique, self-massage, sound, and focused intent.” Qi-gong has thousands of different styles and traditions, but they each incorporate the concepts of Qi (prounounced chee) defined as “vital energy” and Gong translated as skill cultivated through steady practice. Tai Chi is one type of Chi-gong.

Each day, we have been doing different mindfulness exercises so that you can find a practice or practices that you might use as part of a regular commitment to mindfulness practice. Chig-gong practices are interesting in that they both energize and calm at the same time. The perfect thing for our current moment in history that seems to elicit both sluggishness and anxiety.

So, most of you will be complete novices at this technique. Allow yourself to be a beginner like a child would be…with curiosity and openness and without self-consciousness or judgment. Watch this guided Qi-gong practice for beginners. Throw yourself into the activity 100%.

Just notice how you feel differently after moving your body and breathing deeply. Hopefully you feel more alert and energized. Use your energy for something meaningful today.

Be well.

Michele

FYI-See this brief description of Qigong if you are interested.

http://www.shen-nong.com/eng/lifestyles/chinese_qi_gong_history.html

Good Morning. Today’s practice is ever so simple. We will reflect on and drink water. Did any of you just have a negative reaction to that statement?

Simple practices often allow us to see our own resistance or willfulness as if in a mirror. “I don’t like water” or “we can’t do that practice here, it’s too hard, it might spill” – these are common reactions to this activity. It’s funny, but no matter what we try to practice, for many of us the same experiences block us. This is then what you need to practice. Practice noticing your own resistance and doing the task anyway. It’s so helpful in many ways.

Now, think for a moment about water. Water facilitates photosynthesis in plants, allowing food to grow and trees to remove carbon dioxide from the air, replacing it with oxygen so that we can breathe. Drinking water cleans out impurities and allows our body to function. It regulates our body temperature and  body carries nutrients and oxygen to our cells.

The body can go without food for some time, but without hydration, we will perish quickly. It is essential.

Mentally, a sip of water provides a sensation that we can observe and follow as the water moves over our lips, into our mouths, and downward through our throats as we swallow. Focusing on this sensation allows us to stop noticing things around us for a bit and stops the chatter or thoughts swirling in our heads.

Prepare for practice by assembling a carafe or glass of water mindfully. If you are doing this practice with a group you can ring a bell to begin. If alone, simply say to yourself “begin.” Drink your water noticing every moment of your experience. Do this for several sips, or until you finish your water. Try not to gulp or to drink to finish the water. Instead, slowly experience the water, reflecting on its qualities and its ability to refresh you and provide you vital energy for your day.

You might feel more clear-headed than before. Try to keep this unbiased clarity with you throughout the day. Be well.

Today as I write this sunny day in May, I am wearing down booties and a scarf. It is thirty degrees. Snow is forecast for parts of New York. This is unexpected, and unwelcome. On the few days it has been seasonably warm this Spring, I felt a hint of promise. It felt easy to sit and appreciate the warmth of the sun and the sight of birds and bees.

It is undoubtedly harder to accept a chilly day in May than in December. Why is that? It has to do with our expectations. One wise teacher said that letting go is so much easier if we stop grasping for things. It’s a beautiful day wrapped in my scarf. It’s the grasping for sun and a lounge chair that creates frustration for me.

So today’s practice will help us to experience ourselves and the world, without wishing for something else. The act of learning to observe and experience things you didn’t expect or didn’t want–without judging or rejecting– is a large part of mindfulness. It frees us from unnecessary sadness, frustration, and self-criticism. This type of acceptance has been termed Radical Acceptance.

Tara Brach, a psychologist and mindfulness teacher who has taught thousands of people how to practice mindfulness describes Radical Acceptance as follows:

Radical Acceptance reverses our habit of living at war with experiences that are unfamiliar, frightening, or intense. It is the necessary antidote to years of neglecting ourselves, years of judging and treating ourselves harshly, years of rejecting this moment’s experience. Radical Acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our lives as it is. A moment of Radical Acceptance is a moment of genuine freedom.

In her book, Radical Acceptance, she teaches about this concept by telling the story of a friend who was sitting with her dying mother who was unresponsive. At one point, her mother suddenly opened her eyes, looked at her daughter, and spoke, saying, “You Know, all my life I thought something was wrong with me. What a waste.” We spend so much time wishing we were different or believing that we should be better, stronger, more like someone else. Or we fervently believe that others should be different. If they were different, I could be happy. Why is this such a waste? Well for the woman in the story, imagine the amount of energy she spent wishing she were different. Imagine the amount of anxiety, self-blame, and guilt she could have avoided.

My dissertation work involved interviewing hundreds of people within the last two weeks of their life. I administered structured instruments to them to assess pain, depression, happiness, and their feelings about death. The most remarkable thing was after the interviews, many of them asked me sit by them because they wanted to talk. Most always, the talk was some piece of advice they wanted to impart to me. Their advice was remarkably consistent. They told me not to waste time in my life worrying about small things. They told me to value and enjoy my time with friends and family. One told me not to listen to any negativity, and another told me positive things about yourself and others are always there, you just need to see them and not doubt that they are true. Their advice, in sum, was to accept the world without a filter of negative bias about the way things should be. And, not sweat the small stuff. But this is easier said than done for- sure.

Today’s practice is more of a reflection than an exercise. Watch Tara Brach explain in less than two minutes, why it is so hard for us to practice radical acceptance with ourselves. Then take five minutes of quiet reflection to write any thoughts that come up for you. The thoughts that come up during silent reflection are clues. Like a scavenger hunt, they tell you where to go next, and what to focus on in order to cultivate acceptance and end wasteful suffering in your life. So click this link now…

What thoughts came up for you? What are you stuck on? Do you feel like you need to “drive yourself” like a harsh animal trainer? What are you having a hard time accepting about the world? About particular people in your life? About yourself or your current circumstances?

Pick the one thing that creates the most stress or unpleasantness and focus on it. Then, recall the words or the woman in the story, “what a waste.” Just breathe and be brave enough to accept the thought, trait, or person so you have the freedom to approach it or yourself in a different way.

Have a peaceful day.

Today is Mother’s Day. And so, today’s mindfulness is inspired by my mother who taught me that literally anything could be achieved with a good, strong cup of coffee and some quiet time to plan.  My mother raised seven children while working as a physician at a time when women were not welcomed into the medicine. She currently competes in triathalons, and has competed and finished the Ironman World Championship in Kona, Hawaii. Her goal is to be a finisher at 80 years of age, and I know she will do this.

I have lots of thoughts about the expectations of mothers in our society. The idea of selflessness and self-sacrifice is baked into our culture. It is not enough to feed, people post pictures of food crafted to look like animals in neat little bento boxes. There are websites that admonish mothers for not being present enough and others that advocate that doing too much for our kids is damaging…they should be more “free range.” It seems that criticism is always present if one is open to it. Guilt is a useful emotion when it is justified. You hurt someone and you need to make amends. However, when guilt is not justified, it is as yesterday’s mindfulness taught, a terrible waste of time and energy. Radical acceptance of imperfection is essential in order to change. This applies to all of us—not just to mothers who struggle with balancing the needs of others with their own. Perfection can be the enemy of good. The antidote for unjustified guilt is doing the thing that makes you guilty. Taking time to do something you like, unapologetically, even in the face of a busy to-do list is important.

One way we can begin to practice getting rid of any perfectionism or unjustified guilt is to stop everything and just have a cup of coffee. This is a perfect way to begin your day, enjoying the aroma and feel and look of a good cup of quality coffee. The trick is not to begin thinking of everything you need to do, rather simply to enjoy the experience for yourself before anything else.

For today’s practice either mindfully make or get a cup of coffee and fix it how you like it. Now sit and take in the smell of the coffee, hold the cup in your hand and feel the warmth. As you drink your coffee, demand nothing else of yourself. Just drink the coffee. Do not think of what you will do next or what you should be doing—just enjoy the quiet and your coffee.

When you are finished, if you want to take some time to plan your day or to think about plan a bigger goal or dream, you might find yourself in a good state of mind to do so. With guilt and negative thoughts removed, anything is possible. If you find yourself blocked by guilt or self-doubt later in the day or the week, stop–make a cup of coffee, enjoy your coffee, and press re-set. Some of us may need to switch to decaf as this might involve a pot or two!

Have a day free from unnecessary guilt or worries and mindful of possibilities!

Michele

Good Morning. Have you ever had the thought, “this day is ruined.” Often when we are in the midst of an emotion, we feel like it is a foregone conclusion that we can’t feel any different. If the situation bothering us isn’t changing, than our mood must stay the same. The world provides a variety of experiences. Lots of things might change our feelings, if even for a short break. But, the thing is that once we are feeling a particular way, we are prone to notice events or experiences that are consistent with that feeling. It can be said that feelings love themselves. This is especially true for negative events and feelings. Research shows that people who are depressed pay more attention to negative events around them. In other words, emotions can create filters that distort experience by causing us to pay more attention to some things more than others.

This is where mindfulness comes in. We can train ourselves to see without distortion and to balance what we take in. Sometimes we walk right past something beautiful because we are thinking of something that angers us or disappoints us.

We can see something negative and then dwell in it, watching it or thinking about it, discussing it with others…keeping it present—or, we can train ourselves to take in everything without biased selection. When we take in the world moment to moment, breathing, and connecting, chances are there will be some moments that are pleasant. Moreover, we can actually schedule our time to “tip the scales” so that we engage in activities we know will bring on pleasant feelings and a positive outlook.

Today’s mindfulness is designed to help you observe changes in your own feelings and to see how quickly feeling states can change if we attend to positive experiences.

So, for this practice sit comfortably, take a breath and notice any thoughts and feelings you might be having. Are you anticipating anything about your day?

Next, click this link and watch this 1.5 minute clip and simply notice your feelings moment to moment.

What did you notice about your experience? Did your emotions change? For many, your feelings changed easily. You might have found yourself smiling. For the rest of the day, consider how easy it was to change a feeling based on what you put in front of yourself.

If you did not experience a shift towards a pleasant emotion, perhaps it was because it’s difficult to let go of current thoughts and feelings.  We have a tendency to want to cling to thoughts and feelings, especially negative ones. If this was true for you, try to observe the tendency to cling to or amplify negative thoughts. Try to use your senses to take in the present moment without distortion. Take a breath and notice the sensation of a deep breath and watch how it can help to break from a negative thought cycle.

Have a good day, and if it’s not, so good, choose an activity that changes your feelings.

Michele

I decided to write a mindfulness practice for people who do not like mindfulness. I started researching just that. I came across an article written by Steven Hayes, the developer of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, about how to get the benefits of mindfulness if you don’t like these practices. He has very simple advice…do whatever you were going to do or whatever you want to do, but do it at half speed.

Now, to be clear, mindfulness does not require any more time than “normal activities.” But, slowing down your speed might help you to notice your experience. When she was in college, my sister took a class on the Alexander Technique. One of her tests in the class was simply to stand up and sitting down slowly, conscious of her posture and her form. So, slowing things down, even mundane, everyday activities, can help us to notice and connect with our experience.

So for practice today, do the next few activities you were planning on doing or choose any activity to do, but do it at half speed. Notice the experience, make any corrections necessary to be effective.

Have a Good Day…

Michele

One of the goals of mindfulness is a balanced life. In nature, there are elements in opposition–cold and hot, wet and dry, light and dark. But, human nature is to avoid pain. We often go to great lengths to avoid actually feeling fear, or sadness. Sometimes, we get a glimmer of a feeling and we start worrying—thinking thoughts in our in our head like, “I can’t take this.” We can get emotional about being emotional. This results in lots of behaviors to escape our feelings. The fear of emotions can also make you feel like your emotions are on steroids…Feelings that are inflated and blown up, lead to panic rather than problem solving.

In some ways, it is counter-intuitive to sit with a painful emotion, especially if we think the worst. It can feel dangerous. But the average emotion lasts seconds, not minutes or hours. Emotions typically come over us like a wave comes into the sea shore creeping up and then receding. But, if you run away as a wave comes in, your brain will never know that it recedes. So, touching into emotions signals danger for some people. This is especially true if you have had painful experiences in your past and did not have the support necessary at the time to fully process those experiences.

If we actually feel the physical sensation of an emotion washing over us, and label it, the emotion decreases in intensity. For instance saying “this is so sad”, or “I am so afraid,” feels physically sickening briefly, but generally leads to your brain kicking in and offering solutions, or to some perspective about the situation instead of panic.

Once we realize that the physical symptoms of emotions, especially unpleasant ones, are not harmful or dangerous, they become part of the balance of life instead of a pit in which one can become trapped.

So, today’s practice is about leaning into emotions. Click the video to practice leaning into emotion.

Now, today when anything worries you, angers you, or makes you sad, take a moment to just notice the physical sensation of the emotion, take three breaths in and out noticing your body before doing anything. There is value in feeling the feelings that come up for you. Not avoiding them will ironically make them less intense and shorter lived.

Have a good day.

Michele

Good Morning. When I first started mindfulness practice, I had a very hard time with anything quiet, still, or breath related. It seemed the minute I tried to be focused, my mind jumped everywhere. This morning’s practice was the one I found easiest to practice. It is still the breath practice I gravitate towards first when I want to instantly feel grounded and mindful, instead of distracted.

I call this following breath like a wave or riding the crest of a breath. The idea of this practice is to take a deep breath in through your nose until you feel your lungs filled to capacity. This is the crest or the “top of the breath.” When there is no more room in your lungs, it takes a split second for your body to shift from inhale to exhale. This moment is like your anchor in this practice. You can imaging riding the breath like a person surfing, or imagine your breath like a wave that creeps into shore and then pulls back out to sea receding slowly. After you notice the breath transition from in-breath to out-breath, slowly force all of the air out of your lungs. You can try, and it should not be difficult, for your exhale to be a little longer than your inhale. Some people like to count on the exhale. So that’s it…the goal is to stay consistently present to the breath moving in and out of your lungs.

Why is this helpful? Try it, and see what happens. When practiced regularly, I find that the top of the breath can be the moment of calm in a storm, allowing you to stay present, to think clearly, and to relax your brain and body. It can also be used in other ways, as a gratitude practice for instance, or as a practice designed to create physical relaxation.

So for today’s practice, set a mindfulness timer for however long you would like to practice and slowly breathe in as much as you are able, notice the crest of the breath, and then slowly exhale, extending your breath as long as you are able. Repeat until your practice is finished. If you get distracted, simply focus on the next breath in, paying attention to the crest.

Then, later today and throughout the week, try this breath again throughout your day (using just a single breath or two.) Use this practice whenever you feel like something is stressful, or you just want to remain present and connected. Try it before you eat and before you sleep, before you get out of bed, and before speaking with people. If I had only one practice on a desert island…this one would be it.

Have a peaceful day!

Michele

I realize that many of you who are practicing in hospitals or other facilities may not have a way right now to access the links to videos attached to some of these mindfulness messages. The practice from yesterday (following breath like a wave or riding the crest of the breath) can be done anywhere, with no technology and nothing additional needed except yourself. I think this practice of following a deep breath to its top and then exhaling slowly is one of the most important practices you can master. So I wanted to spend a few days practicing different variations of this practice with all of you.

I call today’s variation Head to Toe Mindfulness.  This can be done seated, but ideally you can do this practice laying down on a bed or on a mat on the floor. Begin by taking a deep breath in through your nose until you feel your lungs filled to capacity. Notice the “top of the breath.” When there is no more room in your lungs and you notice the breath transition from in-breath to out-breath, slowly force all of the air out of your lungs. You can try, and it should not be difficult, for your exhale to be a little longer than your inhale. Whenever you feel ready to add the next layer, on your next in-breath flex your toes back towards your heart and feel your leg tight at the top pf the breath, as you exhale, slowly release your legs and point your toes to the floor. Move your toes with your breath—toes up on the in breath, hold at the top, toes down on the out breath, point before your next inhale. Repeat this practice, feeling your body relax on each exhale. Do this for at least three minutes—more if you have the time.

Later today and throughout the weekend, try to do this deep breath (without toes) throughout your day (using just a single breath or two.) Try to use the whole head to toe practice when you go to sleep tonight and before you get out of your bed in the morning. If you are willing, try to do this morning and night for three days and see if it changes the beginning and end of your day in any way. Let me know what you notice…

Wishing you a day with some moments of peace and relaxation!

Michele

Good Morning. Today’s practice can be done inside or outside, but if the weather is nice where you are, I encourage doing this practice outside. For the last couple of days, we have been doing different variations of following the top of the breath practice. Hopefully, you practiced

Head to Toe Mindfulness before you went to bed last night and before you got out of bed this morning. The more you practice this type of breathing: deep inhale—filling your lungs to capacity, paying attention to the shift from inhale to exhale, and extending your exhale slowly—the easier it will be for you to access your wise mind state (clear, calm, aware) with just a single breath anytime you need.

Today’s variation involves doing top of breath practice while walking. So for this practice, you simply need to find a place to walk where you have enough distance from others. Take two deep breaths, like we have practiced the last few days, and then begin walking. You can find a rhythm of steps and breaths that feels correct to you. When you walk, it is helpful to think about your feet kissing the earth gently. Again, your speed is not important, but the care you take in placing your feet gently to connect to the ground is a point of focus. As you do this gentle walking, try not to lose awareness of your breath. If you find yourself confused or distracted, you can stop, take two breaths and begin again. Set a timer or have someone alert you after 5 minutes. When you stop walking take two more deep breaths in and out, noting the shift from inhale to exhale, while standing still to conclude your exercise.

Later today and throughout the weekend, make your breath a focus of your day. Try to find some time when your day is busy, stop and take just one deep breath in and out–noting the top of the breath. See if you are able to feel your feet connected to the ground when you take this breath. Try to do this several times throughout your day, especially in the midst of busy activity.

Enjoy the weekend!

Michele

For those who have been practicing for the last several days, we have been exploring different variations on breathing while noticing the top of the breath. Today, we add listening to music to your breathing. The idea of this practice is to stay simultaneously connected to more than one thing at the same time—sound and breath. This is a perfect practice for LIFE! We need very much to stay grounded and connected to all of the information around us in order to make wise decisions. In other words, in the midst of chaos, when people are talking to you or multiple things are happening, you need to be able to notice when a strong feeling takes over, before you act. You need to take a split second to breathe before taking any action– if it is to be a thoughtful action.

I call today’s variation Listening Breath. This can be done seated or laying down on a bed or on a mat on the floor. Begin by taking a deep breath in through your nose until you feel your lungs filled to capacity. Notice the “top of the breath.” When there is no more room in your lungs and you notice the breath transition from in-breath to out-breath, slowly force all of the air out of your lungs. Allow your exhale to be a little longer than your inhale. Whenever you feel ready to add the next layer, on your next in-breath, click the following link to listen to a piano music piece. Feel free to substitute any music you like for this one. If music is not available to you, practice when you are outside and listen to the sounds of nature.  Continue to breathe in and out in the way you have practiced the last few days, noticing the top of your breath.

Later today and throughout the weekend, try to do this deep breath throughout your day. In particular, try to do it while you are involved with any action–without stopping that action. So, breathe while in a conversation, breathe while watching the news, breathe while eating. Does it change your actions at all?

Wishing you a relaxing Sunday!

Michele

We have been exploring different variations on breathing while noticing the top of the breath. Today, we add twisting movements. This stimulates circulation of blood flow to the limbs. It warms cold , clammy hands—often a sensation associated with anxiety. It prepares you to begin your day.

Stand with your feet wider than hip-width apart. Take a few deep breaths in and out before beginning. Extend your arms out to your sides with enough space so that you won’t hit anything as you move. Your feet remain planted throughout. Begin to twist and allow your arms to fly. Increase the speed and strength of your movements and notice to see if you feel warmer. Allow your hands begin to slap your shoulders, low back, and chest as your arms fly. Continue to breathe in and out deeply noticing the shift from inhale to exhale and exhale to inhale. Try to time your exhale breaths to end as you twist and slap one side. Inhale should take place after you wrap one side and are beginning to uncoil. Continue for one minute. When you stop, continue to breathe deeply for three breaths. What do you notice?

You may notice your heart rate has increased, but your body should be warmer and free from tightness and tension. Roll your shoulders back and stretch your neck. You are ready and open for the week!

Make an intention to pay attention to just your breathing during the day. Either set a timer for random times to ensure you are connecting to breath or take one deep breath before any transition (e.g., before meals, before moving from one place to another) and of course, any time you are stressed.

Welcome to Monday!

Michele

One of the things that mindful awareness allows you to do is to track patterns in your life that are unhelpful. We all operate based upon things we are aware of—conscious things, and also to things that are not in our immediate awareness—unconscious things. Many of these unconscious responses come from our past, baggage, we say…

Both conscious and unconscious factors can drive our behavior quickly before we have a chance to make choices. We all have automatic patterns of responding that can be thought of as habits. Some of these habits are very helpful, they allow us to make our way through our days efficiently. But when there is a faulty response or pattern, it can result in responses we later regret. Sometimes we see what we expect to see, rather than what’s actually in front of us. Sometimes things just seem to move too quickly to assess a situation. This is where mindfulness comes in. The type of breathing practices we have been doing can increase awareness of faulty patterns and provide clarity in the midst of an urge to act on autopilot.

I will give you an example. I was a good student in school. My identity was to work hard for teachers and coaches. It was automatic and I did not have to think about it. The teacher would give an assignment and I never thought about whether I liked it or not, I just did it as well as I could. The thought of a teacher being unhappy with me was terrifying for me. Interestingly, my children don’t share this fear. One of my sons has avoided homework since homework began. While he has enthusiastically done work in subjects he enjoys, he has skipped work in classes he deems uninteresting, unimportant, or in classes where he does not feel connected to his teacher. This, as you can imagine, has resulted in emails home from teachers. What I realized was that when those emails arrived, it was like I was in the principal’s office. I was freaking out. I was in trouble. What kind of mother has a smart child who doesn’t care about work? When I would get an email like that I would instantly pounce on my son, without exploring. I would try to fix the situation with often unhelpful responses (a new notebook, sharp pencils, a different workspace). The fact that I missed my own panic and shame made my responses impulsive, a little erratic, and unhelpful. Being calm and thoughtful did not solve the homework problem, but it did allow me to stop making it worse. This can be accomplished with a breath. I would breathe and open the email. I would breathe and refrain from blame or judging anyone (son, teacher, husband for being same type of student in high school.) This is how to stop a pattern you don’t like. STOP AND BREATHE. I would like to say this solved the homework problem. It sort of did, until Corona and homeschooling. Virtual school has provided more practice opportunities for me to breathe and notice before responding.

For today’s practice, sit comfortably. Stretch your back and neck until you settle comfortably.

Take two deep breaths in and out, stretching and lengthening your outbreath. Now click this five minute mindfulness timer to begin your practice.

Read or leader read aloud:

Take a moment to reflect on your life. Are there any things you would like to change in your life? What patterns or habits do you have that contribute to things staying the same? Where do you see yourself stuck in a script you can’t seem to escape? What interferes with making the behavior change you want to make. Continue to breathe and reflect. 

Choose 1 pattern or behavior that you believe is blocking you from achieving an important goal or being the type of person you would like to be. Think about this pattern. In your mind, go over the last time you automatically responded in that patterned way. Try to go through the last response moment by moment. Perhaps it involves another person, Perhaps it just involves your own inner thoughts or feelings and how you react to those. Notice any thoughts or feelings that created an urge to respond. Go through the scenario again and spend a moment breathing and experiencing the thoughts and feelings that led up to your response. Recognize them and what they feel like in your body. Now make it your intention to look for that feeling the next time a similar situation arises. 

Throughout your day, whenever you feel rushed or upset, or when you recognize the thought or feeling that prompts your pattern, stop and take two deep breaths extending your exhale. If you do not know how to respond, just do nothing . Lengthening your time to response will increase your choices and allow you more options, hopefully from your wise mind.

Enjoy the new day!

Michele

Good Morning. Have you often noticed that it can be difficult under the current circumstances to begin the day with an optimistic stance?  There is so much that is swirling and unknown right now. How long will distancing need to last? When will we have a vaccine? When will it be available? In addition, as COVID-19 has spread, so has its personal connections to people. Many of us have had people close to us contract the virus. Many have experienced deep personal losses because of this illness. It is difficult to be positive. We are off our equilibrium. When I ask most people how they are doing, the response is often, “hanging in there,” or “surviving.”

We have lost normal activity, moving from place to place, and coming into contact with people and things as we move. Lack of stimulation has the effect of depressing energy, creativity, and general optimism. We need to work just a little bit harder to stay even keeled. We might find ourselves a little sluggish or down. Today’s practice is designed to tip the emotional scales back and to create positive energy.

We have been working on variations of breathing, combining different sensations with awareness of top of the breath. I call today’s variation Breath to Create Positive Energy.  This can be done seated or laying down on a bed or on a mat on the floor. Settle in and set a timer for three minutes.

Begin by taking a deep breath in through your nose until you feel your lungs filled to capacity. Notice the “top of the breath.” When there is no more room in your lungs and you notice the breath transition from in-breath to out-breath, slowly force all of the air out of your lungs. Remember to allow your exhale to be a little longer than your inhale. Whenever you feel ready to add the next layer, on your next in-breath imagine breathing in any worry thoughts, stress, pain, or irritability. Hold this at the top of your breath. On your exhale, focus on breathing out transformed energy. Imagine your exhale releasing positive energy, warmth, and good will out into the world. If you are bothered by a recurrent negative thought or emotion, just notice it, but on your exhale say to yourself “all will be well.” Imagine spreading positive energy to those you know and care about, as well as to all those affected by losses or difficulties. With every exhale, wish yourself and others wellness and positive feelings. 

When done, reflect on your energy level and feelings about beginning the day. Have they changed?

This is a type of loving kindness practice that uses breath rather than words to activate positive feelings and energy. Later today, if you would like to lift your energy or your mood, return to 2 or three deep breaths and focus on the thought that all is well on your exhale.  Some of you have been practicing this breathing daily in the morning and before bed. If you have, reflect on whether it is easier to find this calm place in the middle of your day now. The more we practice mindfulness outside of chaos, the more we can access this place of calm in the midst of chaos.

Wishing you positive energy today.

Michele

Good Morning. Today’s practice involves sitting quietly and reading today’s post or listening as someone else reads it. A brief practice follows, but listening is really the goal today.

I recently read some very interesting research on mindfulness. All of you who have been reading these mindfulness blasts have probably heard more than you might have liked about all the benefits afforded to your physical health, mood, productivity, etc…from a regular mindfulness practice. The research today is a little bit different, it points to why we benefit from regular mindfulness practice. Regular mindfulness practice has been shown to increase values-based action. What is this you say? It is a term coined by practitioners and researchers, defined as follows:

Values-based action reflects how much progress you’re making toward the things that matter to you—your goals, self-improvement, and purpose in life—and how much you get distracted or discouraged along the way.

For medical professionals, one of the sources of burn-out is moral distress—when professionals are tasked with doing things in conflict with what they believe to be ethically correct.

There is evidence that leaders in organizations who clarify their own values and operate consistently from those values are more respected and inspirational. Those who say what they do and do what they say are good, trustworthy leaders. A value may be “we make quality goods.” Moreover, leaders who have clear values for their organization and support people in acting on those values allow those in the organization to share in the vision and then all their work becomes value-based action. This increases morale and a sense of cohesion.

Values-based action is not just  “being a good leader or being a good person.” It can be, if that is your goal. Rather, it is living life authentically. Having your own goals, being aware of them, believing they are possible—and this is the important part—making progress towards those goals is values-based action. For some people, this can mean finishing their education, for others being a good friend, and for others being a good caretaker for the environment. It might be committing to an exercise program and becoming more healthy. In other words, values-based action is moving towards anything that you deem to have value in your life. Here’s the interesting part, those who practice mindfulness appear to have greater clarity on values and more actual movement towards their goals and this is one of the reasons mindfulness contributes to overall well-being. That’s the upshot of this are of research.

We think of mindfulness as offering stress relief, but the research shows that stress reduction can prevent burn-out and lethargy, but it can’t correct for acting in ways that make you feel badly about yourself. Moral distress in your work or your personal life creates an endless loop of stress and negative emotions it can be hard to get relief from.

One of the things I do in my professional life is to teach professionals how to implement dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), a kind of cognitive behavioral treatment. Mindfulness features prominently in this treatment. People need mindfulness to restore from stress and past trauma and to be able to pay attention so they can learn new things. But the overarching goal of DBT is to help clients identify, believe in, and move closer to their own goals. The goal is not symptom reduction, or improving mood—the goal is to get the kind of life that brings one satisfaction—to live authentically. Doing this naturally elevates mood and creates a sense of well-being.

One of the unintended consequences of this unique period in history is that it affords us the time to reflect, to practice mindfulness as we struggle to restructure our days that have lost their routines, and to confront emotionally difficult situations. It allows us to “see what we are made of.”

Thank you for listening a bit about values. Now how this connects to the things we have been practicing. I think of wise mind as forming our goals…the path for where we would like to be. We need to be aware of many things to choose the path that is right for us—for goals big and small. Radical acceptance helps us to sit with where and who we are in the present moment without judging ourselves or becoming too upset. Intention is the practice of staying focused on our goals and acting in each moment thoughtfully and carefully so that we move in the direction of actualizing our goals.

Today’s practice is to sit comfortably, to breathe in the manner we have been practicing, full deep breaths, noticing when the breath is full, noticing transition to exhale, extending exhale. By now, if you have been practicing, this may begin to feel automatic. So when you feel you are in a rhythm of breath, consider the task of having values-based goals for yourself. Some of you may have the goals clearly identified, others may need to find them, or re-identify them. Some may be doubtful you can achieve anything or may be judging yourself. In each case, just breathe. Practice awareness of goals. Play around with goals and visioning what your life would be like if you picked a course and went towards it…if you feel badly about yourself, then this practice requires self-compassion, do not judge yourself…be kind to yourself. Perhaps you just need thoughtful action. What do you need to do in order to become closer to the goals. Continue to breathe for as long as you like, but at least three minutes. End by setting an intention to be aware of important goals and to consider moment by moment what would move you closer to your authentic self. When you move towards your truest goals, you increase satisfaction and a sense of well-being and possibilities.

I wish you a wise action-filled day!

Michele

FYI

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/can_mindfulness_help_you_be_more_authentic

Yesterday’s practice focused on identifying and moving towards one’s own deepest goals (values-based actions). It’s easy to be swept up in what others expect of you or what most people are doing. One can even be quite successful in things that don’t truly bring joy or move you closer to your authentic self. Even if you know where you would like to end up, it is difficult to know where to begin or how to connect your actions in this moment to the broader goal of moving towards your authentic self or your best life goals. We shuffle through the day without realizing that every moment is an opportunity to engage in actions that move us towards our personal goals. We can’t decide, so we stagnate, lay around, or watch TV.  So, today, we will focus on using mindfulness to achieve awareness of what will make us well, whole, and connected to our own unique best life goals. Yesterday, we used the rational part of ourselves to reflect on these issues. Today, we will draw more on the emotional part of our mind. We will do this using a loving kindness practice for self.

In order to have wise-mind goals, you have to have some quiet space outside the shuffle of everyday life and you also need to accept where you are right now. If you set a goal and then beat yourself up for not being there already, the result is that it squashes all motivation for the goal. You feel unworthy, unlikely to succeed, and generally unmotivated. Sometimes, thinking about wise-mind goals sends us looking backwards. If only I hadn’t made these choices…All of these things are understandable tendencies, but they are unhelpful. Zen teaches us that who we are in this moment is the sum of all of our prior experiences, but that all we need to move beyond our past decisions and experiences is to realize we are free to change. The trick is not be overwhelmed with that responsibility and freedom.

I love logic and planning. I love to-do lists, but sometimes they are overwhelming. Sometimes you can make a list of everything you need to do, but what’s most important? Where should you begin? Recently, I have been planning a garden. I designed a map for where each plant will go in my little plot. I bought some young plants…but I did that a little too early. I was tending these little veggies in their pots, but what I needed to do first was to get the space ready to plant. I needed to build a fence to keep out the critters. I needed to pull the weeds and I needed to till the soil. While I tended the veggies in their pots, I did those other things and now–I am ready to plant…Planning to reach your goals is wonderful, but today’s practice is like preparing the soil in the garden. If you plant on soil that is not ready, nothing will grow. The weeds will kill your new plants. The soil will be hard and inhospitable. Your great plans will fail to move forward.

So… here we go with today’s practice. All we will be doing is saying a phrase designed to cultivate self-compassion and wisdom about what to do to in order to allow us to grow and change. Cue up this meditation timer if you are able.

The practice will begin with three chimes to begin. Then read the prompts aloud as directed.

Read:  May I be peaceful
May I be safe and protected
May I know what I need to be well

Breathe

Read the following:  You are inviting awareness of what to do in order to be more connected to your own best life goals. There is no logic required—just sitting, breathing and repeating the phrase. Do not struggle to know, just breathe, and read the phrase, allowing wisdom into your awareness…

Read: May I be peaceful
May I be safe and protected
May I know what I need to be well

Breathe

Now continue to breathe until you hear three chimes. If you get distracted, return to the phrase May I know what I need to be well.

What came up for you in this practice? You may need to repeat it a few times before you have a sense of clarity, but remember that the deep breath in what anchors you to this experience throughout the day. Try to connect your actions and decisions throughout the day to the awareness you allowed in this practice.

Enjoy the day!

Michele

Inspired by Dr. Elaine Smookler

https://www.mindful.org/being-gentle-with-your-feelings-in-lockdown/

Is anyone getting tired of practicing mindfulness? Is anyone getting tired of monotony? The things that originally made my “new normal” seem meaningful and creative have now ceased to hold interest. The first two weeks I did not leave my home, I baked brownies. I made French toast, eggs, pancakes—foods that were never seen in my home on weekdays! I organized. It was helpful to throw myself into those activities.  Eventually any repeated activity can become routine.

It seems, that mindfulness has a lot to teach us about monotony.  We have discussed that mindfulness has been described as “falling awake.” Before we had playlists and CDs, some of you may recall driving in a car and losing a radio station and then searching and tuning in until the new station became clearer. Listening and adjusting the dial and hoping for clarity and a decent song…This is the type of work we need to do in order to stay attuned, interested and connected to our experience.

I will not rehash why it is so important to stay connected to our experience. Needless to say, all of the benefits of mindfulness require this type of attentive, nonjudgmental connection to the present moment. Boring or repetitive activities can provide wonderful opportunities to practice mindfulness. At the same time, with practice, even activities that seem boring can have meaning and feel less stifling.

Today’s practice involves engaging in a task or tasks that you can do mindlessly, but that you will consciously do mindfully.

Choose anything that you need to do today or that you could do without thinking. It can be brushing your teeth, cleaning a bathtub, or making your bed. Instead of doing it to get it done (or not doing the activity at all!), draw on awareness of top of breath. Breathe in deeply until your lungs are full, exhale until all the air leaves your lungs. If you have been practicing, this signals to your brain to pay attention, using your senses, without judgment. Begin your task(s). If you find your thoughts wandering, make the moment about the activity. Notice the feel, smells, and sights of your activity down to small details. You might find that judgments arise. You might think this is a waste of time or have an urge to speed up to get the task done. You do not need to go slow, just refrain from giving in to the urge to finish it so you can get on to the next moment.

Believe it or not, this will help to get rid of boredom, monotony, and restlessness. Try to do this with conversations, with meals, with every small thing you do today and notice how staying connected changes the experience of your day.

Have an interesting day!

Michele

Good Morning. This morning I was reading a piece by a domestic care-giver, a home health aide in New York City caring for an elderly client who requires around the clock care. It is a diary written by “Kieran” the caregiver (not her actual name). It chronicles the long hours spent taking care of her patient, her efforts to keep herself and her patient safe by sanitizing, and her efforts to keep herself and her patient emotionally well. She describes in great detail her routines for self-care that include many hot cups of tea, stretching, mindfulness practice, prayer, wrapping herself up in a blanket, and gratitude for sleep in the moments she is able to sleep. Because many of her colleagues fell ill, she was working grueling hours and experienced extreme fatigue. If you have time, read her full 30 day diary here…

https://www.thelily.com/i-do-not-have-the-luxury-of-staying-home-30-days-as-a-domestic-worker-in-new-york-city/

“Kieran” is a model of self-care for those who serve others, but really for all of us. She is aware of her emotional state and does things to correct it when she feels frightened or worried. What struck me most about her account though was the power of gratitude for the kindness of others. She wrote…

I’m due back at work in the morning and I am concerned about not feeling recharged enough. Fortunately, love comes when you least expect it. An old friend checks up on me. And another friend, very dear to my heart also calls. It’s amazing how kindness and thoughtfulness can save the day.

This account shows the restorative power of kindness. We can be grateful for the kindness of others in our lives right now and it buoys us and brings us good feelings and respite from challenges. What’s interesting though is that we can derive the same benefits by remembering someone who has been kind to us, in our corner, or supportive at any time in our life.

So, today’s practice involves awareness of gratitude for the kindness of others. Sit down with your back upright and feet touching the floor. Have a soft gaze a little bit in front of you. Take a few deep breaths as you settle in to this practice.

Leader Read Aloud (or read to yourself if alone):

Call to mind someone who has been kind to you–someone who has encouraged you or offered you support. The person can be someone you have access to now or someone you are no longer able to contact. Recall what this person looks like. Review in your mind instances when this person has been kind to you. Now think about how you felt when you received their encouragement, love, or support. Feel that same feeling right in this moment. Like Kieran, who was able to get enough energy to return to work even though she was tired, the support of others can help you to get through whatever challenges you have. Keep breathing in deeply and exhaling slowly. Imagine you are breathing in the support of this person. Feel the energy from your connection to this person in your life. Feel the strength created by the kindness of others. On your exhale, breathe out gratitude for the presence or the memory of this person. Continue to breathe in, thinking of this person and deriving energy and warmth, and breath out feeling gratitude for the gift of this person in your life. Repeat this practice for as long as you like, but for at least 3 minutes.

You can use this practice to recharge and restore whenever you feel depleted.

I wish you success in whatever challenges you face today!

Michele

Good Morning. Today is Memorial Day in the United States. It is the day when we celebrate all of the men and women who have lost their lives while serving in the U.S. Armed Forces. Today’s practice will be a gratitude mindfulness practice.

Practice:

Sit upright, finding a comfortable position. Take a few deep breaths, observing your chest rise and fall with each inhalation and exhalation. Notice the transition from inhale to exhale. Follow your breath, and allow the release of any tension you might be holding in your body. Relax your shoulders and feel your entire body let go of any tightness.  On your next exhale, settle your attention to the area around your heart. Call to mind someone for whom you feel love or appreciation. Focus on the warm feelings in your heart.

Now with your attention on your heart center, think about all of the people who have served in our Armed Forces and lost their lives. Breathe in and on your next exhale say silently, I am thankful.

On your next inhale think about the families of those who lost their lives in service—their parents, their children, their spouses, their siblings. As you exhale, say silently, I am thankful.

On your next breath consider how recently our freedom to move about has been constricted, recall the simple freedom of moving and visiting with others. Be thankful for the simple freedom to choose our actions. On your next exhale, say to yourself, I am thankful.

Continue to follow your breath. Consider the freedoms we enjoy that others in the world do not. It may not always feel like the States are “united,” but consider the fact that disagreement and discourse is allowed here. For this say to yourself, I am thankful.

Now breathe in and once again consider those who lost their lives serving in our Armed Forces. On your exhale, experience gratitude for their willingness to serve. On your next inhale, allow yourself to experience gratitude for your own life–for the oxygen you breathe right now and the thoughts and feelings you are able to experience. Breathe in and on your next exhale, say, I am thankful. Focus on how grateful thoughts make you feel. Let this feeling grow and expand. Take one last breath to end your practice.

If you had difficulty experiencing gratitude, or you were distracted by thoughts, that’s ok. That is all part of practicing. If this practice did not create feelings of warmth and gratitude, try to find at least one or two things you can focus on that do bring you those feelings.

For the rest of today, make it your intention to notice people and things you are grateful for. Pay careful attention to see if you experience a tiny bit of the warm feelings you might have experienced in this practice each time you feel grateful.  It’s good for your health, for your mood, and for the world.

Wishing you many things to be grateful for!

Michele

Good Morning. I think that it is fairly universal right now to feel unsure of what’s happening next. For many of us, it is the anticipation of what might be that causes us the most anxiety and upset. Take it from someone who likes planning and control, it is uncomfortable to sit with uncertainty. Having worked with many people in healthcare settings, and having experienced health issues myself at various times in my life, I think it is fair to say that waiting for results can be excruciating-sometimes even worse than receiving bad news. Why is that? When we know the contours of a problem, we can fix it, get help from others, or accept it (even if we don’t like it). But, uncertainty makes us unsure of how to respond. We feel in limbo. Some people, go to the worst case scenario and experience fear and anxiety that may prove to be unnecessary. Others avoid altogether, and others just shut down feeling overwhelmed. What is required to deal with uncertainty skillfully?

It is actually accepting–even embracing uncertainty. What does this mean. Well, it does not mean you can’t plan for various things that might happen. However, there is something called the law of diminishing returns. At a certain point, planning and anticipating your response to a large number of unknowns is counterproductive. It is about finding balance. Being aware of all the information available to you in the present, you can know how to respond today. You also need to understand that everything you know today could change, and you response would change. What we need is adaptability-the ability to adapt to changes. Adaptability is much easier if you are not attached to one outcome. If you embrace not knowing, you are more prepared to adapt when necessary.

But, as I said before, the hardest thing to do is to hold yourself in limbo, acknowledging that you just aren’t sure what will happen next, and accepting this fact in the present moment. The best way to do this is with mindfulness practices that ground us in the present moment and help us to truly sit with the discomfort of uncertainty, literally breathing into the uncertainty until we accept it.

We begin with a choice you can make–Choice 1 is to watch the following very brief guided meditation (3 min.), Choice two is to follow the instructions below the link for a silent breathing practice to cultivate acceptance of uncertainty.

Choice 1:

This very brief guided meditation can help you to accept uncertainty. Settle yourself and follow the clip.

Choice 2:

If you can’t access this clip or if you would like a longer practice, set a timer for 8 minutes (or however long you wish) and then simply practice the breathing we have been doing together. Slow inhale, noticing the sensation of your lungs completely inflated, slow extended exhale noticing your lungs empty. On your next in-breath say to yourself, In this moment, I am okay and on your exhale say to yourself, I accept that I do not know. At the end of your practice, take one last breath to end.

During the day, whenever you find yourself stressed about something uncertain, take a breath and say to yourself, I accept that I do not know. You do not have to like the unknown, but accepting you do not know might save you from spinning your wheels to no good purpose.

Hoping the day brings some unexpected pleasant experiences!

Michele

The word, mind, dates back to the late 12^th century. It was defined as “that which feels, wills, and thinks.” So the mind is really a collection of all the human experiences in one. Note that thoughts and feelings and urges or intentions are all part of the mind. Somehow though, for many of us, the word mind has come to be understood as the center for logic and thought. It is that, but it is much more than that. Have you ever heard the phrase, the whole is more than the sum of its parts? You  can have thoughts about something, and you can have feelings about something, but it is the synthesis of your thoughts, your feelings, wisdom gained by experiences in your past, and knowledge of your goals and intentions that is the whole essence of one’s mind. Mindfulness practice involves training yourself to have awareness of all aspects of your mind and to be able to integrate them smoothly in order to guide your actions. Because the mind involves feelings and because it directs our actions, it’s essential that we are connected to our bodies. We divorce our feelings from our thoughts, our physical feelings from our emotions…they all exist in the same person. We feel emotions physically, just like we feel being punched. We can notice elements of our experience one by one. For instance, as a way to heighten your attention, you could eat a piece of popcorn and notice the sensation of crunching it without paying attention to the taste of the salt, but if you were to fully dive into the experience of eating popcorn mindfully, you would experience smell, notice the color, taste the flavors and observe the texture.

Just like a child learning to hit a baseball focuses on one aspect at a time—stand in the batter’s box and do not jump out when the ball whizzes by, swing the bat level, watch the ball, make contact with the ball, follow through with your swing—we can master pieces of our experiences one by one. But, the ultimate goal is to pull all those parts together in order to be effective.  If we practice noticing parts, and connecting parts of our experience, we will become intuitively aware of all aspects of our experience and we will be more effective.

I have discussed, falling awake. My 16-year old can answer me without ever having heard what I asked. He is then shocked later on to learn what he agreed to do while he was half-there. You can go through the motions or be truly awake. Recently we have practiced breathing a lot, breathing deeply, with awareness. Connecting breathing to thoughts or to intentions. Today, we will practice connecting your body with your breath.

So, most of you have done progressive muscle relaxation exercises where you breathe and tense and relax muscles in order to relax your body and release stress. This practice is a bit different. The goal is not necessarily to relax your body, it is to feel it. To connect to your body while breathing and observing your experience.

To practice, it’s best to lay on the floor or a mat, but if you can’t a bed or even a chair is fine. Take two deep breaths to begin then start slowly stretching different parts of your body. You can flex feet up and down, twist gently, reach high, pull shoulders back. whatever feels like it needs stretching. If you do yoga, cat and cow is perfect for this practice. The idea is to feel your body, to wake it up and to connect your thoughts and observations with your physical body and your breath. Do this for as long as you feel like.

Throughout your day, try not to lose touch with your physical experience. When you have a feeling try to locate it in your body. If you are working try to stretch and be aware of your body throughout the day, rather than waiting till you feel tight or cramped.

The weather is beautiful today in the Northeast. Hope you get out to enjoy it for a bit.

Michele

Mindfulness can be practiced with any or all of your senses. It seems particularly easy to use our sense of vision to take in the complex details and beautiful sights present in the outdoor world. Today, however, where I am writing to you, it is raining– and the forecast indicates rain all day. We can nevertheless practice mindfulness using our sense of vision. Today, we will do so using art.

Many people can be intimidated by art. They think, “what am I supposed to see.” Or, “am I supposed to like this?” It has taken me many visits to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and other museums to just feel comfortable taking in art. Having impressions, thoughts, and reactions to art and trusting those to be valid. This is what makes viewing art a perfect mindfulness activity. One has to use one’s senses, and observe your reactions—whatever those might be. Remember that a preference “I notice that I do not find this attractive,” “I notice that this painting brings me joy.” Is not the same thing as a judgment…”this stinks.” Try to avoid judgments or rephrase them into statements of observing your own preferences.

Today, we will examine the following picture painted by Vincent van Gogh. It is a well-known work called Starry Night. He painted it in 1889. It is a view from the window of his bedroom in the Saint Paul Asylum, a psychiatric hospital in France where he lived from May, 1889 to May, 1890.

Set a timer for three minutes. Settle in to your seat. Take a few deep breaths, feeling the air travel from your belly to your lungs, and then slowly back out again. Your task is to observe this painting and to notice the details, colors, and images. Notice also your thoughts, reaction, and emotions in response to looking at this work. There is no right or wrong. Just observe—and notice. Silently, put words onto your experience.

When the practice is over, consider your experience. Were you surprised and all the things you could notice? The curious stance of observing and allowing and noticing your own reactions is a habit that is very helpful to have in your every-day life. Have a day filled with awareness of details about your world, yourself, and anyone you encounter.

Michele

Good Morning. Today we will continue to use art as a focus of mindfulness. The painting you will observe today was painted by Fernand Léger in 1920. Léger was a prolific French artist whose work was strongly influenced by cubism. He showed his work at the Salon d’Automne in Paris. Léger was born in 1881 and died in 1955.

You need no background in art to do the mindfulness practice this morning. First, determine how long you will practice for and set a timer. Settle into a comfortable position. Now, take a few deep breaths in and out. As you breathe in, fill your lungs to capacity. As you breathe out, let go of any thoughts or sensations in your body. With each breath, draw your attention narrower and narrower to the image of the painting. Pay attention to your first reaction to the piece. It could be a thought. It might be a feeling. It might be a judgment. If you find yourself judging, take a breath and try to restate your judgment into a thought, personal preference, or feeling. If you find yourself distracted by outside noises or thoughts, on your next inhale, try to narrow your focus back to the painting. As you continue to observe the painting, notice its details. What can you observe? You can narrow your focus to a small detail and then widen your gaze to the whole painting. You may shift back and forth. Take one last breath after the timer signals the end of the practice.

What did you notice about your experience? Were you able to focus on the painting? If distracted, could you use your breath to bring back your focus? Did you judge yourself for “not doing it right” or did you judge the practice? If so, were you able to breathe and bring yourself back to just noticing the painting? Constantly refocusing after our mind wanders is how we get stronger at mindfulness and more able to use the controlled attention of our mind to our own benefit in daily life.

Some people love to spend weekends in museums looking at art, while other people—not so much. No matter which type of person you are, viewing art can be an interesting mindfulness experience. I am including the instruction for Saturday and Sunday’s practice so you can get a head start if you have time. This practice involves a little preparation so I am sending it now. If you are leading practices in an institution, I will send some paintings for you to print each day. If you can access the web, and you have time to prepare, read this super short article on mindfulness with art,

https://rubinmuseum.org/blog/art-as-meditation-a-lesson-in-mindfulness

Then choose a museum you will tour, and select a gallery so you are ready for the practice.

https://www.travelandleisure.com/attractions/museums-galleries/museums-with-virtual-tours

Try to notice details around you today and if you find yourself unfocused, use your breath to focus intently on whatever you are doing.

It’s Friday, Breathe!

Michele

Sometimes mindfulness involves remaining present to emotions even when they are unpleasant. A great deal of injustice is possible because people turn away from feeling the suffering of others. It can either be too distant for us to connect to, or it can be so overwhelming that those who can, avoid.

Today’s mindfulness with art exercise involves just sitting and taking in this famous work by Pablo Picasso. Last summer, I was able to see this painting at the Reina Sofia Museum in Madrid. First, a little background on this piece which has become a rallying cry against war and violence.

In 1937, the Spanish republic asked Picasso to create a large composition for the Paris International Exhibition. This request occurred just after the most destructive event of the Spanish civil war: the bombing of the small Basque village of Guernica. This catastrophe was a result of Germany’s Nazis and Italy’s Fascists, who wished to show their support for Franco’s Nationalists in the face of the Republicans. Guernica was destroyed; hundreds had been killed or hurt, all of whom were innocent civilians. Picasso, who was living in Paris at the time, learnt about the ordeal through newspapers. Deeply moved by the testimonies he read and the photographs he saw, Guernica became his enraged cry against this absence of humanity. Picasso’s disdain of the war was evident, and when Nazi ambassador, Otto Abetz stood in front of the piece and asked Picasso if “it was [he] that had made this” Picasso defiantly replied “no, you did” ( from https://blog.artsper.com/en/a-closer-look/artwork-analysis-guernica-by-picasso/ )

So for this practice, set this timer for 5 minutes

When you hear the music, settle in, take a few breaths, and take in this painting using your vision. Notice details, and especially notice your own emotions and reactions. If you have thoughts, do not try to ignore them—take them in fully, but do not allow your attention to stray from the piece.

The task to extend this practice is to remain attentive—watching and listening to the suffering of others. Zen teaches that the suffering of even one of us is suffering of us all. To move past suffering into transformative action, we must see and accept fully the pain that is present. Thich Nhat Hanh taught that we do not need to know the answers to make change, we just need to be present, remain attuned to suffering, and work to cultivate compassion. Transformative change follows from this.

Michele

Good Morning. Today, it is good to notice that the sun is shining. But, the anguish in our country is painfully clear. My thoughts are swirling. So permit me a little more dialogue than usual to try to express my thoughts for today. I’d like to offer my understanding of what mindfulness has to offer in the wake of the indefensible killing of George Floyd. For those of you leading in facility, feel free to just jump down to the practice below. For others, read if you have the chance.

Zen teaches causality–the pain in the present can be seen as a consequence of our failure to fully see, own, and respond to the injustice in the past. Because we have failed to deeply appreciate the atrocities we perpetrated against people of color, and have continued to perpetrate, we have continued to repeat atrocities—large and small– over and over.

Dr. Gloria Browne Marshall is a constitutional law scholar and a colleague at John Jay College of Criminal Justice where I teach. I once had the privilege to hear her speak and it profoundly changed the way in which I understood race and criminal justice in the United States. She traced the history of various laws from emancipation through Jim Crow, to mandatory drug sentencing, to voting districting legislation, and she linked the passage of specific laws to the political and economic context at the time each law was passed. She presented a stunning picture of how racism and fear of retribution from people of color has literally been baked into our criminal justice system. This creates a web with all of our other systems-political, educational, and health care–so much so that the very systems designed to uphold justice and protect liberty perpetuate injustice. In many parts of country, including NYC where I live, schools designed to provide all Americans equal opportunities to actualize their potential continue to offer separate and unequal education depending on one’s zip code. We can see the effects of disparities created by this web of institutionalized racism in our healthcare system clearly as we see rates of COVID-19 disproportionally affect people of color. We see the problems, but the solutions seem overwhelming. The feelings prompted by thinking about these things, no matter who you are, often result in us shutting them off because they are, again, too overwhelming.

This is where mindfulness can help. I want to be very clear that I do not mean to suggest that mindfulness should be the salve to provide comfort in the face of injustice. It probably does help many people get through emotionally painful times, but the true power in mindfulness is in its ability to transform. There is a long connection between mindfulness and social justice. The Dalai Lama was persecuted and exiled from Tibet. Thich Nhat Hahn was exiled from Vietnam. He was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Martin Luther King Junior for his work protesting the Vietnam War. What he taught was that compassion was the way to create transformative change. Truly feeling the experience of others motivates a desire to help in most people. One of the harder things he taught was that those who intentionally perpetrate violence and injustice are afflicted. They are separated from truth, humanity, and feeling. They do not know yet. So, he argued, we need to be compassionate towards those who oppress as well as those affected by oppression.

It is a simple concept, that compassion is needed. Compassion is seeing another person’s pain, hearing their communication, and saying that it is reasonable, understandable and justifiable—period. So today’s practice is a simple loving kindness compassion exercise.

Practice: Settle into a comfortable position. Breathe in and out, feeling your lungs next to your heart. Exhale as you focus. Breathe slowly in and out as you read the following (leaders read and have participants repeat to themselves)

Aware that there is injustice in our country and in our world, I breathe.

May I be alert to action and inaction that causes suffering in others.

May all people be alert to action and inaction that causes suffering in others.

May I be safe.

May I be free from harm and suffering.

May I be well.

May all people be safe.

May all people be free from harm and suffering.

May all people be well.

Aware that there is injustice in our country and in our world, I breathe.

May suffering be transformed into change.

There are many things that prevent us from sitting in compassion and acting from a place of compassion: fear that we do not have solutions, fear that the solutions might be painful, sadness, rage, and perhaps most importantly– guilt and shame. Can you have guilt and shame for things you did not perpetrate. I think that as a nation we can. I am ashamed whenever I travel outside the US and there is another mass shooting and I try to explain why we do nothing about this. As continued practice for today, try not to avoid feeling in response to suffering you see. Try, if you like, to watch the Ted talk below.

Be well.

Michele

Good Morning. Today I am tired. I slept well, but I’m still tired. Today we will focus on what to do when staying connected is emotionally exhausting. Yesterday, we talked about the importance of staying in the present, even if the present is painful. It is important for us, but even more important for our community to stay connected to the present moment. In my experience, doing what we normally used to do—eat, work, socialize—has required considerably more effort (and bandwith) than before. The constant barrage of painful COVID-19 news on TV and within our own friends and family has been emotionally draining. The last week has been emotionally devastating. So it seems that it makes sense to feel tired. Mindfulness does not offer freedom from pain, but it does promise to help us to avoid becoming stuck in suffering. Zen teaches that suffering comes when we refuse to accept painful realities. I have found myself recently looking at images on the news and thinking is this really my country? The images remind me of TV footage I was shown in school about what the 1960’s were like. We will ourselves to accept reality by observing it and breathing without pushing away details, thoughts, or feelings. But today’s practice will highlight a way to be present that can be less painful—without disconnecting or avoiding our experience—through relying on sangha or a community of practice.

The word sangha is a Sanskrit word that means “community.” Some might argue that sangha refers only to a group of monks, nuns, and laity living and practicing together, but I think of it differently. The practices I’ve been writing during COVID have extended to a wide web of individuals—to residents and staff in facilities I work with, friends, teachers, family, and even people I do not know who practice because someone they know passed along these exercises.

Thich Nhat Hahn said,  “Your sangha—family, friends, and copractitioners—is the soil, and you are the seed. No matter how vigorous the seed is, if the soil does not provide nourishment, your seed will die. A good sangha is crucial for the practice.” You can think of all the people who practice mindfulness in our little circle as a sangha. When you are personally tired, just show up for your practice. The energy of the collective group can help to buoy you when you are feeling depleted.

Taking refuge in the sangha means putting your trust in a community of solid members who practice mindfulness together. You do not have to practice intensively—just being in a sangha where people are happy, living deeply the moments of their days, is enough. Each person’s way of sitting, walking, eating, working, and smiling is a source of inspiration; and transformation takes place without effort. If someone who is troubled is placed in a good sangha, just being there is enough to bring about a transformation.

                                                                                                                                            Thich Nhat Hahn

Set a timer for five minutes. Then today, as you settle in to practice. Find your seat and stretch your back to sit tall. Take a deep breath in filling your lungs, hold for one second and then exhale slowly. Now focus on the community of people practicing mindfulness today—some you may know and many you will not. Draw energy from the fact that you are not alone in your practice to be present. Mindfulness creates compassion and kindness. Imagine that you are practicing today surrounded by the compassion and kindness of all the people doing this practice today.

Observe the photo of the Dalai Lama in half smile. Look at the photo of the baby for guidance. This is our natural expression when contented. Now, close your eyes and on your next in-breath turn up the corners of your mouth into a gentle half-smile. Feel the sensation behind your eyelids. If you can, feel your body a little lighter. Continue to follow your breath and on each in-breath, notice the corners of your mouth upturned. Sit in half smile, breathing in the company of all those who are practicing in our virtual sangha or community.

Throughout your day, when you feel tired or emotionally depleted, take a breath and recall this practice and your connection to community. If you like, post this statement by Thich Nhat Hahn somewhere where you will see it—

“Mindful living protects us and helps us go in the direction of peace. With the support of friends in the practice, peace has a chance.”                                                                                                             Thich Nhat Hahn

Peace!

Michele

Good Morning. Today is my third son’s birthday. He is a gift– a kind soul who is very thoughtful about the experiences of others. He has made me think about the fact that how we as a nation treat our people is reflective of how we allow children in our country to be treated. The United Nations Convention of the Rights of the Child in an international human rights treaty that outlines universal needs and rights for children encompassing a variety of domains. Please look at the map below to see the only member of the United Nations that has NOT ratified this treaty. It is the United States.

The treaty aspires to protect the best interests of the child. Among the rights granted to children by the treaty include protections from physical and emotional harm. Another important right established by The Convention is the right for children to express their opinions and to have those opinions heard.  I recall the President’s response to Greta Thunberg expressing her beliefs about the importance of paying attention to climate change. The US does not protect or honor children’s rights, let alone their opinions.

One of the most important outcomes for people who regularly practice mindfulness is that mindfulness develops the ability listen to others nonjudgmentally, with care and compassion. This is why we practice. This is how mindfulness links to resolution of conflict and breeds peace. On June 1^st, ViacomCBS and Nickelodeon–their child and family network, went dark for 8 minutes and 46 seconds in response to the killing of George Floyd by a police officer in Minnesota May 25. On the dark screen, they posted the following:

You have the right to be seen, heard, and respected as a citizen of the word. You have the right to a world that’s peaceful.

You have the right to be treated with equality, regardless of the color of your skin.

You have the right to be protected from harm, injustice, and hatred.

You have the right to an education that prepares you to run the world.

You have the right to your opinions and feelings, even if others don’t agree with them.

PRACTICE: I thought that for today’s mindfulness practice, we would do a loving kindness mindfulness for all the children and people of the world. So, settle yourself and sit tall. Take a deep breath in and out.

Think about a time when you were happy as a child or think of an image of a happy, playful child that generates warm feelings for you. Feel the feelings rise in your chest as you take a few deep breaths. Keep the image of the child present as you repeat the following phrase.

May you be safe and free from all harm

May you be seen, heard, and respected as a citizen of the world.

May you be protected from harm, injustice, and hatred.

May you live in a world that is peaceful.

May all children be safe and free from all harm

May all children seen, heard, and respected as citizens of the world.

May all children be protected from harm, injustice, and hatred.

May all children live in a world that is peaceful.

May all people be safe and free from all harm

May all people seen, heard, and respected as a citizens of the world.

May all people be protected from harm, injustice, and hatred.

May all people live in a world that is peaceful.

The future always offers hope. If we take care to educate and protect all our children now, we have the chance for a more peaceful future.

Be well.

Michele

Good Morning. It is a bedrock principle of Zen that change is not possible without acceptance. One must radically accept that a problem exists and fully accept the magnitude of a problem, its consequences, and our feelings and thoughts about a problem in order to move towards fruitful action. We all have a problem right now.

The second paragraph of the declaration of independence states, “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” At the time he wrote those words, Thomas Jefferson owned slaves. History tells us that he loved Sally Hemmings, an enslaved woman, and that he fathered six of her children. Jefferson was deeply troubled by slavery, but failed to find a way to extricate himself or the country from the scourge of slavery.

It feels as if there has been a cosmic shift in the willingness of Americans to accept that racism exists and persists in our country, and to accept the magnitude of the problem and the magnitude of pain associated with it. The US, has held itself up as a model of individual liberty in the world and we have failed to live up to our stated ideals. The rights alluded to in the Declaration of Independence are not afforded to all citizens and basic human rights are afforded to all people within our borders.

I realize this is a heady way to begin the day. What does this have to do with mindfulness? The most difficult thing to do is to stay attentive to this overwhelming reality, to accept all aspects of it, so that we can change. Mindfulness helps us to accept the enormity of the problem and to have the perseverance to actualize change.

Recent studies have demonstrated that mindfulness practice increases students’ perseverance when solving difficult problems. When we practice mindfulness, we learn at least two things: 1) we train our brain to actually stay on task and connected to the present moment, and 2) we train ourselves, like an athlete, to persist despite frustration, fatigue, or obstacles. This is what’s most needed now.

So today, sit comfortably and watch this guided meditation on persistence. The point of this practice is not relaxation, it is to cultivate persistence. Persistence is not giving up, even when things are challenging. It means breathing and discovering each new moment, carving out change.

Peace.

Michele

“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking”

Good Morning. Recently, I have been getting advice on how to begin running from my brother, an elite athlete who has finished both Ironman and Ultraman Triathalons. I was telling him that when I try to run, I get tired, and I just stop. His advice was, “Don’t stop.” I said, I just can’t keep going, I get tired, it’s painful. He explained that I just needed not to stop. If I couldn’t run any more, I could walk and then start running again as soon as I could. With little bursts of running and walking, he said I would be soon be able to run consistently. That’s kind of how mindfulness is…You just need to keep from giving up. Distraction, lack of motivation, emotional fatigue, and even pain is all part of the process. I can say for sure–and there are literally hundreds of studies that support this-when you don’t give up and when you have a regular mindfulness practice, you are physically healthier, your body shuts off cortisol production, you regularly experience peaceful and pleasant moments, and you have more energy and focus to reach your goals.

In college, I was on an athletic scholarship. I will tell you that giving up was a daily urge. I didn’t quit largely because of the support of my team.  I felt connected to them, supported and encouraged by them, obligated to them. They helped me to dig deeper and to give my very best effort. Earlier this week, we discussed the concept of community (sangha). I encourage you to each find your support. And allow yourself to be encouraged by them. Feel obligated to them-it helps when you want to quit. Support them (they get tired too.) These things will make it much easier for you to just keep going. Organically, the group of people practicing mindfulness with these daily blasts each day has grown and created a community. When I got distracted and missed people in my email yesterday, you let me know. That is community. We are connected and obligated to each other. When you do not feel like practicing, or when you feel tired, think about all the other people reading these and practicing. Draw support and energy from that thought and just keep going.

Today’s mindfulness practice is for everyone, but in particular, this goes out to the POETIC girls in Texas, to the boys and girls in Bexar County, to the boys and girls I work with in Connecticut, and to all the individuals in the hospitals in New Jersey where I teach DBT. I know that it is REALLY HARD not to give up. In fact it is REALLY HARD to believe that change is possible at all, but I will tell you what my brother told me…just don’t stop and you will get where you want to go. Use your community. Use this community. Keep practicing. Continue right now with today’s practice

Today’s practice:

There is a Buddhist proverb that says  “If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” Today’s practice is a walking practice. Thich Nhat Hanh has said that we should kiss the earth when we walk. So, take a few deep breaths, set a timer for how long you wish to practice, and walk. Make each step both gentle and purposeful. It doesn’t matter where you are walking, or the speed of your steps as long as you are moving. Just do not stop. Keep breathing deeply and putting one step in front of another.

It may not be clear exactly how this will help with the rest of your life, but it will.

Peace.

Michele

Good Morning.

Welcome to your weekend. Weekends are generally a time to restore, reflect, and reset. Resting provides the strength and energy needed to move forward. It has been a tumultuous week. For most people, the week brought many feelings and many thoughts. For today’s practice, we give the brain a rest to close this week before we begin the next one.

Sit tall, breathe deeply, and make your intention to place your full attention on the sounds of Tibetan flute music by Amchock Gumpo. Click the link below to begin your practice (If you want a slightly longer practice, just allow the music to continue to the next song before stopping YouTube.

Take a moment to reflect on your experience. Find some time this weekend to rest and to do a few things you enjoy…mindfully.

Michele

Good Morning. I started sending out these mindfulness practices in order to help individuals cope with the stresses associated with the Novel Corona Virus. Many of the people in our practice circle had already been using mindfulness as a way to help them to recover from trauma that contributed to their hospitalization or incarceration and to help them build a new life of their choosing. This circle of people practicing together has grown, but the essential practice of training one’s self to be in the present, nonjudgmentally is universally helpful. Things have changed dramatically since I began sending these practices out; it feels like such practices are even more essential now.

Most of our practices have focused on personal mindfulness practice. Today, though, I wanted to spend a minute on the relationship of personal practice to care for others. The author, Stephen Batchelor, has written extensively about the secular (non-religious) application of Buddhist teaching. He has argued when people cultivate compassion and care for all beings, it leads to a commitment to an ethic of care for others.

Rhonda Magee, a law professor at the University of San Francisco, teaches her students mindfulness for stress reduction, as well as to reduce racial inequities in the world. She has written about a concept called community-engaged mindfulness. The idea is that through self-compassion, one naturally extends their circle of care outwards– eventually extending to all beings. This is exemplified in the practices we have been doing that are classified as loving kindness meditations.

So today, please use this link to practice a 13 minute loving kindness. Before you begin, take a few deep breaths. Think about your intention for the practice. In what ways would like to help others, but you feel powerless to effect change? Make this your intention for the practice. Extend your personal practice of compassion to others. Click the following link to begin…

To continue to extend your practice throughout your day, think a bit about how your personal practice increases your commitment to change about yourself or your community.

Peace,

Michele

FYI: see additional reading on Community Engaged Mindfulness

Community Engaged Mindfulness Tasks (Rhonda V. Magee)

—Develop the personal dimension of our own capacity to work with and learn from our own capacity to work with and learn from our own experiences, including experiences of social suffering and to learn about the structural nature of the suffering of others (the personal dimension);

–Offer and receive supportive practices and collaborate across lines of real and perceived cultural, racial, and other differences (the interpersonal dimension)

–Work with others to relieve suffering at all levels, including the material and structural—institutional (the systemic dimension).

Good Morning. Today’s mindfulness practice is focused on anger. Many people are feeling a lot of anger these days. Anger is justified. It makes sense. Nevertheless, we might need to address anger in order to keep it from damaging us—in order to keep us from getting stuck in hopelessness, despair, or self-destructive behaviors that help us avoid fully connecting with anger.

Sitting with anger and acknowledging anger releases the person feeling the anger from suffering. Being stuck in anger for long periods of time creates suffering. Prolonged anger affects the body in the same way that fear does. It depletes the immune system. It is part of the body’s response to trauma. Recent research appears to support the hypothesis that at least some of the adverse health outcomes experienced by people of color are directly attributable to the effects of racism and its emotional consequences.

Understand that acknowledging and accepting anger is not the same thing as being okay with the thing that has made you angry. It is simply connecting to the experience of being angry. When one connects physically, emotionally, and thoughtfully to anger, anger is transformed.  Accepting anger allows tension to be released and increases our capacity to respond. It helps us to feel less helpless in the face of things that are upsetting.

So for today’s practice, begin by settling in and calling to mind the last time you felt anger, or something that makes you so angry that the feeling just sticks with you. Breathe deeply and just notice the thoughts and body sensations that arise. Now, you may choose to click to the following link for a guided mindfulness practice (8.5 minutes) or if you know the half-smile practice, you can practice breathing and half-smiling while angry (my favorite practice for anger).

Later on today, try to identify any times you notice the same physical sensation of anger you felt at the start of this practice. Whenever you feel those sensations, or when you notice judgmental thoughts, gently acknowledge the feeling and the fact that the feeling is justified. Then, take a breath and let the feeling pass.

I wish you a peaceful day!

Michele

Good Morning. The topic of today’s mindfulness blast is agency. Agency refers to the degree to which an individual has the ability to freely make choices and to engage in actions in their life consistent with their choices. We often say to children, “was that a good choice or a bad choice?” when in fact it was no choice at all, just an automatic or impulsive action. When we have a sense that we can choose how we act and direct our actions towards accomplishing goals, anything is possible.

Many things interfere with developing agency– systematic oppression, trauma or abuse, or even being overprotected can all diminish a person’s sense that they can effect change in their own life. Half of the challenge involved in changing anything that makes you unhappy is believing you have the capability to change your situation. Having a personal sense of agency is the internal experience one gains from making choices, engaging in goal-directed actions, and accomplishing goals.

The practice of mindfulness increases one’s sense of personal agency by increasing one’s capabilities. If you can manage your thoughts and emotions without getting swept away by them, your sense of control is enhanced. If you can stay on track, you can accomplish things great and small.  If you have ever decided you wanted to get something done and then blown it off, you know the defeated feeling you get. It can create a cycle of helplessness and even depression.

Agency creates both clarity of purpose and a sense that, with enough work, almost anything is possible. When we pay attention, we begin to identify our own personal preferences; we can choose goals aligned with our wise-mind values. We can be realistic about things we can control, those we cannot, and those we can work to change, but can’t control at the present moment. This helps us to act effectively. Acting effectively produces the opposite of that defeated feeling—it produces a sense of optimism. This leads to an internal resilience, a belief that anything is possible.

When I was in graduate school there was a lot I could not control. I was working almost all the time, but none of my work was paid. One thing I did every week was to scrub my bathtub until it shined. You may say, why was that important? It gave me the feeling that I could start something ,work hard at it for a short time, and accomplish something. It gave me a sense of control.

Usually, when we psychologists talk about agency, we urge people to set sort of lofty, meaningful goals in order to achieve a sense of agency. But, my experience tells me that even small tasks create the sense of control and capability that leads to optimism when facing challenges. I read an article about a woman who was getting divorced and she decided to knit a scarf. She knew nothing about knitting, but she said that if she could learn to knit, she felt she could learn anything. I have had the same life-changing boost of confidence after assembling an ice hockey net for my children from “Santa.” Never again would an instruction booklet in an Ikea box terrify me. One starts to see that every task in life involves problem-solving. With patience, and without being swept away by self-doubt thoughts or fear, almost any problem can be solved. If you cannot solve it yourself, you can seek out the help necessary to solve your problem whether your problem is fixing a leak in your bathroom or conquering an addiction.

Today’s practice designed to increase agency will not be a guided practice. The goal of this practice is to set a task for yourself that feels a little challenging for you–to mindfully walk in silence and listen for 10 minutes, to run for 5 minutes, to sit in silence for ten minutes while breathing. Whatever you choose, if you become distracted or have the urge to stop, breathe and try to bring yourself back to the activity.

When you are finished, reflect on the fact that no matter how many times you had to refocus, you stayed with the task. If you quit before your time, figure out what prompted the urge to quit and work on that. To extend this practice, you can sit and take a few breaths whenever you have a quiet moment. Reflect on what goal or goals are most important to you. What is needed to get to those goals. You can use your mindfulness practice to set meaningful personal goals. You can also mindfully engage in smaller tasks that give you a sense of control and capability so you have the energy and belief in yourself to achieve longer term goals.

I wish you a productive day!

Michele

Good Morning. When we began practicing together, I was writing primarily to help each of us to use mindfulness to cope with drastic changes in our lives caused by COVID-19. Recently, some of our practices have focused on extending your mindfulness practice outwards towards others in service of better relationships, communities, and ultimately a better world.

One of the most important things that mindfulness can help us to do to improve relationships and our connections to others is to LISTEN to each other.

We have practiced listening to nature sounds with focus and attention before. For most people, this is a fairly pleasant practice. It is significantly more difficult to listen to something we do not want to hear without turning away. Imagine if we did mindfulness to the sound of nails on a chalkboard? Listening to someone you disagree with or whom you dislike is more like that than listening to peaceful nature sounds. Why? Because judgment gets in the way. When we listen to someone we disagree with, we often half listen. We are listening in order to form the content of the next thing we will say back as soon as we get the chance. Mindful listening to others involves listening with full attention to the sounds and sights available to you…without speaking. Listen non-judgmentally. If you notice a judgment, restate what you heard in your mind without judgment (e.g., I noticed that I disagree with her, not she’s stupid).. You do not have to agree with someone to listen, and you do not have to disagree either. You can simply listen.

For today’s practice, take a few breaths in and out, filling your lungs to capacity before exhaling. Then click the following musical piece and just listen as it changes moment to moment.

When you are finished. Take a moment to reflect on listening. As you move throughout your day, make an effort to truly listen to the words and experiences of others. Do not listen with an eye for what you agree or disagree with, just listen and let them know that you heard them.

People are interesting. I wish you interesting interactions today!

Michele

Good Morning. Lots of times I feel like I don’t want to practice mindfulness. There is too much to get done or I don’t feel like it. It is easy to practice when the sun is shining, you don’t feel rushed, and you make time for yourself. It is those times when we feel rushed or when we least feel like practicing that we often derive the most benefit from mindfulness.

So, first let’s get rid of the idea that there is no time to practice mindfulness. You do not have to stop your day to practice. If you are very busy, you can take one deep breath in and out and focus…15 seconds. There-you did it…In this way you can organize the things you do based on what’s most pressing or most important to you and avoid making a mess of your day. If you are completely sure you have no time to practice today, then just take a breath…breathe while you are getting ready, while you are preparing or eating food. Just breathe deeply once at the start of every activity you do during the day and you have practiced. If this is you today, close this email and set this intention and you are done. If you have a few minutes more, keep reading or listening.

Another reason people often do not feel like practicing is when they don’t want to be with themselves. One reason we do not want to connect to the present moment is that we sometimes want to avoid ourselves like we might avoid an annoying person we don’t like at a party. When you are feeling irritable or tired or cranky, you can’t even stand yourself or the prospect of the day ahead of you. In times like this, we often just feel like stewing or just pushing through the day while staying miserable. You might have thoughts like, “it’s too hard, I don’t feel like it” or “I won’t do it right today anyway.”  The solution for times when we feel this way is a little gentle self-compassion.

Leaders Read ( or read to yourself if alone):

Today’s practice is a self-compassion practice drawn on loving kindness. First, take a deep breath and imagine a toddler that is cranky and emotional and overtired. You would not be harsh with a child, you would probably hold them, give them a bottle and let them have a rest. This is the attitude you want to cultivate towards yourself right now.

Now, call to mind some aspect of your personality you do not like, or some mistake you made, a failure, that has been bothering you lately. Something that perhaps you’ve been criticizing yourself for or that has made you feel inadequate in some way. Whatever this trait or action is, try to get in touch with your feelings about it. The idea that we are inadequate can cause many feelings: guilt, shame, sadness, fear that we are flawed. How do you feel when you think about your mistake or the trait you seem to have? See if you can locate the sensations of the emotions in your body. Perhaps it’s a tightness in your throat, a heaviness in your heart, tension in the shoulders. Allow the feeling to be there without pushing it away. Just observe the feelings.

Much suffering is caused by our own self-judgement and our fears of not being good enough. Remember that everyone makes mistakes. We are all human. Rather than be harsh with yourself, try to see if you can tell yourself that life can be challenging, and no one is perfect. Instead of judging yourself, be gentle with yourself. It’s okay.

Now repeat to yourself the following phrases, breathing in and out after each phrase:

May I be safe

May I be peaceful

May I be kind to myself

May I accept myself as I am, even as I strive to grow

May I feel joy and gratitude for the possibilities before me

May the planet and all its inhabitants be safe

May all people be peaceful

May all people be kind

May all people be accepting of themselves, as we strive to grow

May all people feel joy and gratitude for the possibilities before us

Remembering that change is easier with acceptance, breathe in and say

May I be safe

May I be peaceful

May I be kind to myself

May I accept myself as I am, even as I strive to grow

May I feel joy and excitement for the possibilities before me

(inspired by MindfulnessExercise.com)

 I hope you are excited about the possibilities today offers. Be well.

Michele

Good Morning. It is a beautiful, sunny morning and it is FRIDAY! Weekends are markers for us, helping us to chunk time. When my son was small, he had trouble understanding the concept of time and when something was going to happen in the future. He would ask, “ how many sleeps” until this or that will happen? One the frustrating things about social distancing is we don’t know how long it will go on. The future feels more uncertain than usual. But one thing we are sure of is that we have lived a week since last Friday.

If you will, take a moment to reflect on the past week. Were there things you were grateful for? Were there things you worried about that you had no control over? Were there things you worried about that ended up better than you anticipated? Reflect on moments when you were truly connected to an experience. If it was pleasant, be thankful for the moment. If it was not a pleasant experience, you can be happy that the experience has passed, that you survived it, and that you are here able to think about it. Maybe it offered you the chance to learn something or to practice something or to become stronger in some way. If so, be thankful for that.

If there was something you worked on this week, acknowledge your hard work. Yesterday, we practiced self-compassion. Were you able to be a little kinder and gentler to yourself and to others yesterday? Be thankful if you were.

Today’s practice involves gratitude. If you can do this practice outside, please try to. Wherever you are, sit supporting your back or lie down. Take in 1 deep breath, feeling the familiarity of your breath. If you have been practicing, this breath might feel comforting and settling. Continue to breath in and out slowly through your nose, feeling your stomach rise and fall. Now think about 1 thing this past week for which you are grateful. Notice the feeling in your chest when you think about it. Now, continuing to breathe, feel the sensation of gratitude expanding in your chest. Think about your last week. Try to find gratitude for pleasant experiences you can recall. Think about them one by one and say to yourself, I’m thankful.”

Now, see if you can feel gratitude for any learning opportunities in the past week, even unpleasant ones. It is Friday, you have marked another week of learning and practicing. You have gotten through any stressful moments from the past week. Think about any unpleasant moments that you survived or mastered or just stayed connected to and say to yourself, I’m thankful.”

It is Friday, you may be able to find some time to rest and relax this weekend. Be grateful for any down time or pleasant activities you can look forward to in the next few days. Anticipating them, say to yourself, “I’m thankful.”

Continue to breathe, feeling the warmth of gratitude in your chest. See if you can notice gratitude for this one moment, for this one breath, for anything around you right now that you can appreciate. Say to yourself, “I’m thankful.”

As you conclude your practice, take one last deep breath in and out.

For the rest of the day, and the weekend, try to make a conscious effort to notice anything small or large that you are grateful for. Say to yourself “I’m thankful” as you notice the people and experiences for which you are grateful. Take a second to connect to the feeling of gratitude in your chest and the thoughts in your mind as you mindfully attend to these things.

Have an enjoyable weekend!

Michele

Good Morning. Sometimes when we have a problem or a situation that is either longstanding or complicated, it can feel like no matter how hard you work, it does not change. One principle drawn from Zen is called allowing natural change. It’s related to the concept of acceptance. It involves accepting current conditions… watching and observing fluctuations in the problem or situation without trying to control the situation. Note that this would not be my strategy of choice if you can actually change something, but when efforts to change something do not work, allowing natural change is a response that reduces your frustration. It’s a little like the saying, a watched pot doesn’t boil. If you are waiting for your water to boil because you need macaroni and cheese NOW, it seems to take longer. If you allow the stovetop to do its job without fixating on your pot, it will actually boil eventually. The idea here is that sometimes our efforts to control things might make a situation worse or at least make you feel worse about it.

Remember the little bird that banged into my window at 6:30 am each day like clockwork?  Well, after putting up colorful signs and wind chimes and everything else I could think of to get her to see the error of her ways, I just gave up. I decided that I couldn’t control her. Guess what? She stopped banging into the window and has made a nice nest across the yard in a tree. Not on my timeclock, but hers. When I decided I couldn’t do anything about it, I stopped going in that room with that window in the morning. I’m not sure exactly when she stopped, but it has been at least two weeks.

So today, think about someone or something you want to change in your life. If you are working TOO HARD and all your efforts to control the person or situation are not working, consider letting go and allowing natural change. Try to stop trying…Try to simply notice the situation or person and your feelings about them or the situation. Observe and describe the experience moment to moment, without wishing it were different or trying to force it to be different.

For our practice, settle in, take a few breaths in and out, straightening as you feel the oxygen waking up your body. Now, think about a person or situation that you wish was different. Understanding that despite your efforts, you cannot actually control the person or situation, make a conscious decision to accept that you do not have control. Radically accept it. Accept your feelings of frustration, perhaps anger, perhaps sadness. Make a decision to allow natural change. Continue to breathe in and out, softly focused on this situation. Set a timer for 5 minutes, then listen to the following clip, breathing in and out while silently saying, I am willing to accept natural change. I accept the situation as it is. I accept that I do not like this, and I accept the feelings that come with it. Breathe in and out deeply until your timer ends.

The idea of this practice is not to give up, but to give up controlling. What you might find is that if you focus on your own feelings and responses, and other important things you need to do in the present, that sometimes letting go allows change to happen.

Wishing you patience as you weather the natural changes we didn’t ask for but are negotiating now!

Have a nice weekend!

Michele

Good Morning. I have been thinking about change. Our lives have been different for the last 3 months. We have been frightened and humbled by the power of disease. We have been shocked and appalled by racism and violence. But, disease has been present. Racism and violence have plagued our country since Europeans arrived in America. What has changed? COVID-19 has gotten our collective attention. While people limited their activities and attended to the news, videotapes of George Floyd’s murder afforded an opportunity to see what activists had been fervently trying to communicate for decades—people are suffering.

A United States Veteran being treated for PTSD from his tour in Afghanistan said what bothered him most was that his brothers were dying and people back home did not seem to care. He explained, “we are at war and people in America are at the mall.” I think what bothered him the most was the fact that so much suffering went unnoticed, and worse, that it was not responded to.

There is a natural pull to be unmindful…to be focused on the minutia of every day…what will we eat for dinner? What will I do today? But, there are also thousands of moments that invite connectedness and mindful attention, if we are open to them-if we are attuned. We have been practicing daily together, some of us for months. If you have been practicing, do you notice anything different about your days? You may be better able to calm yourself and focus with a breath. You may actually be more attuned to suffering—in others and in yourself. Noticing and accepting that suffering is present is the first step in ending it.

Today’s practice will only take a moment. So try to place 100% of your attention on the practice. Sit wherever you are and hold a position you can keep comfortably for a minute. Take a deep breath in and out. Read this phrase by 13^th century Persian Sufi Mystic, Rumi, and take five deep breaths in and out, reflecting on the phrase.

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.

                                                  Rumi

Think about how your daily practice has changed you. How and what will you continue to change?

Wishing you a peaceful Sunday!

Michele

Good Morning!  This morning, I have a meeting to work on a project with colleagues from New Zealand and the U.K. So, we are in three time zones and I drew the early straw. So, I was thinking it was a perfect time to reinforce the idea that you can always find a way to practice. My practice today will be super short. It’s tempting to think-why bother? Or “I’ll do it later.” Of course, the goal is to live mindfully—not just to take a few minutes of each day to be mindful. But, the emphasis and discipline of daily mindfulness, especially in the morning helps us to get to living mindfully. Starting the day this way is so important because we can breathe, connect, and set our intentions before the day carries us away without thinking.

Try this three-minute guided meditation. Click the link to begin…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iebciuBXCh4

When you are done, notice that even though the practice was only three minutes, you are different than before you began. Make it your intention to breathe throughout the day, staying aware of your thoughts, emotions and body sensations as you move from activity to activity.

For those interested, I found this 3-minute video on how mindfulness works. It’s worth a quick view.

Have a mindful day!

Michele

Good Morning. I usually try to practice with eyes open, because life happens with our eyes open. Today though, I thought we could try a mindfulness practice designed to be done with eyes closed. The task for this mindfulness is to listen to a series of bells and to concentrate on following each sound from its beginning until it concludes. This practice takes five minutes.

Cue up the clip past the ads so it is ready to begin. Sit tall, or lay down on a mat or bed if you prefer. Breathe in deeply and when you are ready, click the following link. Try not to forget to continue to take deep breaths in and out as you concentrate on the sounds of the bells.

When you are finished, notice how you feel. Just taking a few minutes to pay attention to literally anything in the present moment grounds us deeply and reminds us to breathe while doing whatever it is we will do today. Try to stay as connected as you were to the bells to everything you do today—listening to others, engaging in activities, or eating.

Have a pleasant day!

Michele

Good Morning. I’m not sure about you, but this morning I’m feeling a little stressed and a little fatigued at anticipating the day. I’m tired of ELA and Spanish, and as much as I like it, I’m tired of Khan Academy. I’m tired of piles of laundry. I’m tired of struggling to hear on the phone.  Although Zoom felt like such a gift a few months ago, I’m tired of Zoom. These are really just fleeting thoughts, but whenever you have thoughts that make you want to avoid fully jumping into the day, that’s your cue to breathe and get mindful.

When you practice mindfulness, even briefly, it is like a reboot for your brain. Mindfulness lets you move through emotions and let go of thoughts, seeing them as momentary experiences instead of being consumed by them. In keeping with this week’s theme of quick mindfulness practices, I will share a favorite practice of mine that is super short, but very effective. Today’s practice is ideal to use when you are feeling stressed or tense, or when you are tired and need a moment of self-soothing so you can refresh and recharge.

Practice: Sit and stretch your spine upwards so you are straight. This is a closed eyes practice. Take one deep breath in, hold at the top for one second, and then slowly release through your nose. Now, take your hands and place them over your eyes with fingers on your eyes and palms resting on your cheeks. Feel the warmth of your hands.  Take a deep breath in and out. Slide your hands towards your ears so that your fingers are at your temples. Now as you continue to breathe, make small circles using as much pressure as feels comfortable, massaging your temples. Do this for a full breath in and a slow release through your nose. Now, shift your fingers down to where your jawbones connect—on the space you can feel move if you open your jaw. Repeat a deep breath and massage here, feeling the thickness of your jaw muscle. Next, open your mouth and move your hands lower in the direction of your chin, to the spot where you can feel that the muscle in your jaw ends (below the muscle). Breathe deeply while massaging this spot upwards with your fingers. Finally, place your hands in your lap, one cupped inside the other and take a deep breath in and out.

When we are feeling tense or wanting to avoid an activity or to avoid a whole day, this practice which literally takes less than 1.5 minutes can help you to feel ready to fully participate with anticipation. We talk about child’s mind, a state of curiosity and anticipation about what’s coming next. Hoping this practice helped some of you to get back to that state. Chances are you will be more creative and you might even enjoy your day more in child’s mind.

Have a nice day!

Michele

Good Morning. Today is cloudy, grey and cool. It is starkly different from yesterday’s bright sunshine and warmth. The difference is striking and offers an opportunity for learning. Zen teaches that all of reality is temporary. It does not mean that nothing lasts, rather that everything evolves and changes moment to moment. This is an especially helpful concept if your current feeling or state is painful or if it feels overwhelming. In keeping with the theme of the week-very brief mindfulness practices-todays practice is very brief. It involves training yourself to see the present moment as only one moment in a series of changing experiences. When we fail to do that, we can get stuck in a state, even when we don’t want to.

When you are ready, settle in, sit tall and breathe. Click this minute timer for a 2 minute mindfulness bell (it will continue every 2 minutes if you wish to extend your practice).

Read the following statement.

Even on a cloudy day, the blue sky is still there.

Mindfulness is noticing the clouds in our mind and being aware that they will pass.

Consider your present state, noticing that it is temporary and that change is constant. Continue to breathe deeply.  When the bell chimes, read the statement again.

Even on a cloudy day, the blue sky is still there.

Mindfulness is noticing the clouds in our mind and being aware that they will pass.

Today, make an intention to maintain awareness of the fact that each moment changes. Whenever you feel stuck, take a breath and say to yourself, “this is temporary.”

Have a peaceful day!

Michele

Good Morning. Today is Juneteenth, the day we celebrate the final emancipation of slaves in the United States. On June 19, 1865, in Galveston, Texas, Gordon Granger announced orders from the federal government officially proclaiming the freedom of all enslaved people in Texas. By the letter of the law, slaves had been free for over two years, since the Emancipation Proclamation. But, just because we say it does not make it so…It wasn’t until there were enough forces to enforce freedom that the news of liberation became real in Texas. Action was required. That day has continued to be honored with celebrations, and of course, with good Texas Barbecue.

What does this have to do with mindfulness practice? For those following daily, mindfulness produces right heart. If one is truly taking in the world, compassion follows. Changing injustice is a natural consequence of awareness.

So for today’s mindfulness, it’s really appropriate to reflect on the holiday of Juneteenth. Although slaves were theoretically free (on paper) years before, without the enforceable proclamation on June 19th, slaves in Texas would not have been able to leave their owners.

We have a constitution that delineates rights for all, but as we can see from recent events, and from the stories and experiences recounted by Black people in the U.S., those rights are not equally applied. There is still much action needed in order to actualize the right of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness for all people in our country.

Practice: (print copies of page 2 if doing with a group)

Mindfulness practice asks us to begin work from within ourselves. So simply cultivating awareness, compassion, and acknowledgement of what was and what is will be the task today.

Sit upright, take a deep breath in and out, and look at the image below. This is the image of the official Juneteeth flag superimposed on the map of the United States. Look at it and reflect on what it means to truly be free and to truly be treated as equal under the law in our country. Simply ask yourself to be aware of the experience of others, taking it in without interpretation, taking it in with compassion. Think, has our constitution made it so, or is action required to make freedom real? Awareness in tiny moments is part of the transformation that we can make. By attending to what’s in front of us mindfully, we undo unconscious, implicit bias we have.

Happy Juneteenth! 

Michele

Good morning. It is the weekend! Today’s brief mindfulness involves using strong sensations to connect to present experience. Many people can’t wake up until that first cup of coffee. You have the first sip and feel…alive. The caffeine has not kicked in yet, so what is it? Well, if you have had coffee with caffeine in the past, your body knows what’s coming in 20 minutes. It is anticipating increased alertness. But, it is actually the intense smell and sight of the coffee, and its robust taste that grabs our attention and also functions as a sort of shortcut to a more alert state.

You can use almost any strong sensation for a very brief mindfulness practice. Noticing the sensation of a cold shower, or a hot shower. Noticing the sensation of intense minty toothpaste. The smell of a scented lotion as you rub it into your hands, the sight of a vivid picture of a bright flower, the taste, aroma, and temperature of hot tea—all these things can make for a quick, easy, pleasant mindfulness practice.

The trick is not to sort of notice all these things as you move about, it is to use your senses to connect fully with the sight, smell, sound, taste, or feel of an experience. Note that it does not have to be only one sense or experience.

If you are able today, practice outside. Perhaps, take 5 minutes to have a really hot cup of tea or coffee while sitting outside listening to birds and smelling wet grass. If you are pressed for time, just use your shower or brushing your teeth as your practice. The idea is to pick an activity that provides strong sense experience and throw yourself into it 100%. Breathe deeply to ensure you are fully taking in the experience. That’s it. That’s mindfulness.

These very brief micro-mindfulness experiences work especially well when you have regularly practiced for longer periods, noticing when you are bored and distracted and bringing yourself back to the moment over and over again. Then, your hot tea or your lavender oil function like a shortcut to your mindful state, just like coffee brings you to alertness well before the caffeine has kicked in.

Enjoy connecting to the world with your senses today!

Michele

Good Morning. Today I wanted to talk about the importance of following instructions in mindfulness practice. I’ve often had the experience of giving an instruction about what to pay attention to in a mindfulness practice and a participant will say something like, “I found it easier to imagine I was at the beach and then I was able to do it and I liked the practice.” If relaxation is your goal, that’s ok, but that is not really the only point of mindfulness training. The idea of a task or focus, especially if it is challenging, is what disciplines our mind to be able to focus effectively on demand. Mindfulness practice, the act of recognizing when our mind has strayed and gently bringing it back, is crucial. Since March, we have been doing lots of practices together designed to allow you to notice and regulate emotions, to get control of runaway thoughts, and to attend to what’s most important to you. People often write back, “I liked today’s “ or “not a fan of today’s practice.” Those are great observations, but know there is value in doing practices you do not like…that are hard. Just be gentle with yourself and do not give up and your experience of whichever types of practice you dislike tend to change over time.

Now, given that I said all that, you are probably worried about what’s in store for you today! Relax. Now that I have explained that mindfulness is more than practices designed to provide relaxation, I also want to note that relaxation is a perfect goal of mindfulness. It is just much more likely to work for you in the context of a regular practice that teaches you how to focus and what to do if your mind strays. We are going to spend the next week on mindfulness practices for relaxation. Just 30-60 total minutes of practice weekly has been shown to yield many health and wellness benefits I’ve highlighted before, including improved mood, improved concentration, better physical health, and lower reported stress levels. There is robust evidence that regular relaxation practices help people de-stress and reduce symptoms of depression.

So today we begin our mini-study in relaxation practices. For today’s practice, begin by lying on a mat, on the floor or the grass, or in your bed. This practice is designed to soothe you and to recharge your energy. As you are lying with eyes open or closed, take a few deep breaths in and out. Feel your stomach lengthen as your chest rises, then follow you exhale extending it. Click the following clip and listen to this composition while also staying connected to your breath. If you get distracted, begin to listen intently on your next inhale.

When you are done, take a minute to notice how your body feels after this practice. Try to make this feeling (relaxed, in the present, not worried about the next thing you need to do) a familiar place. Try to recognize a shift. When you have a worry thought, or start to get overwhelmed and anxious today, try to notice those sensations (heart racing, chest tightening, jaw clenching) and if you can take a deep breath and try to return to the feeling you experienced this morning after our practice.

Enjoy the day!

Michele

Good Morning. This week we will be practicing a series of mindfulness exercises designed to provide stress relief and relaxation. These exercises can be used at any time, but if you are able to practice twice daily this week —in the morning and in the evening, that would be ideal. Completing relaxation mindfulness exercises each can be a really helpful addition to your evening routine and can improve falling asleep and staying asleep.

Try to complete this practice lying down. Cue up one of the following clips and follow the instructions of the instructor.

15 minute practice

6 minute practice

If you want to feel less tense throughout the day, simply tighten and relax your shoulders, then stretch your neck to each side, to the front and the back. Don’t forget to breathe deeply. Are you remembering to breathe in whenever stressed? Are you handling stress any differently? If practicing daily, you should begin to see some changes both inside and outside your practice times.

Hope you find some time for enjoyment and relaxation today!

Michele

Good Morning. Sunday was the first day of summer. We often equate summer with the seashore. For many of us, the beaches are closed. We have been inside much of the time. We might have Zoom and FaceTime fatigue. In keeping of our relaxation theme, today’s practice is restorative. It provides an escape from whatever is bothering you. For this practice you will need to use your imagination to take a trip to the beach. When I was working in a forensic hospital, this was a universal favorite practice for both the women and men I worked with. They reported that they really did feel like they escaped from the unit for a little bit of time when we did this practice. I would bring my beach sounds and spray some suntan lotion on a cotton ball and it made the whole room smell like a day at the shore.

Practice this mindfulness while lying down. Leaders, click the following link and read instructions in italic.

If practicing alone, read the instructions and then click the link and lay down with eyes closed listening to beach sounds until the sounds stop. The practice is 15 minutes, so if you only have 5 or 10 minutes, set a timer for yourself after you begin the clip.

 Imagine yourself walking barefoot down a long wooden boardwalk. See the Dunes to your left and right. As you step off the walkway onto the sand, notice the warmth of the sand. It is a perfect beach day-warm, but not too hot. Find a spot close to the shore where you can see the   blue water. Spread out your towel and stretch out on your towel. Feel the sand supporting and      warming you under your towel. As you lay there, breathe in and out deeply. See if you can notice the salty smell of the air. Listen to the sounds of the waves and the seagulls overhead. 

         Imagine the warmth of the sun hitting your face and your body. Allow this sensation to develop. Try to recall the sensation of a breeze cooling you off. See if you can smell coconut scented tanning lotion in the air.

         Continue to take deep breaths in and out. You have nothing to do, nothing to worry about in this moment. Your only task is to take in the experience with all your senses. Feel yourself getting a little sleepy. Enjoy the sensation of relaxing in this moment. Continue until the sounds stop or your timer sounds.

Take one last deep breath in and out. Notice that this practice took less than 20 minutes. How do you feel now, compared to how you felt prior to this mini-vacation. So the point of this is not to accomplish anything. The point is simply to relax and add a few more pleasant moments into your day.

Have a Relaxing Day!

Michele

Good morning. This morning I thought I would make a quick teaching point about mindfulness practices. It is easy to make a distinction between guided practices (those in which someone speak to you and guides you with prompts throughout the practice) and those which are silent. While sometimes we might notice that we do not like the speaker’s voice or the type of practice the person is leading, it is generally true that guided practices are somewhat easier to stay connected to. Sometimes I think of them like training wheels for mindfulness. This makes them nice if you are just beginning to practice. Guided practices also work really well when you are tired or looking to relax. So because this week’s theme is relaxation, today, we will do an easy, brief guided practice for relaxation.

You can do this practice with eyes closed or open, sitting or lying. When you are ready, cue up and click this link to begin…

When you are finished, think about your practice for a moment. It does not matter whether you liked the practice or not, or whether you got distracted and brought yourself back or not. Some learning happened. Reward yourself for your effort and for making the time to attend to your mind and your body.

Have a peaceful day!

Michele

Good Morning. I’m not sure about each of you, but aside from mindfulness practices, this week has been anything but relaxing! That’s why this week’s practices are so important. When your life is stressful, busy, or difficult self-care, even if it is just 30 quiet minutes to yourself makes a difference.

These relaxing practices are often the easiest to teach and among the easiest practices; yet, they are the hardest practices to get yourself and others to do. Why is that? We have thoughts that range from, “how is this going to help?” to “I don’t feel like it.” Others feel that they don’t deserve to take time for themselves. Still others feel that the things that cause them stress should change; they should not have to do the work.  So to do a simple self-soothing practice, you have to clear any unhelpful thoughts away.

The second problem with this practice is that sometimes people engage in the practice, but let the reel in their head keep playing. The idea of a self-soothing practice is to use your senses, and all your focus and powers of concentration to throw yourself into the experience 100%.

Only if you can do these two things: Clearing unhelpful thoughts and participating 100% into the experience will you reap the stress reducing benefits of a relaxation mindfulness practice. This is harder to do at times when you are actually stressed. It’s ironic, but when things are going well and you have no pressure, it’s easy to light a candle, put on music and breathe or to take a slow, hot bath, or to sit by a firepit and just watch it. It is in the middle of stress and chaos that relaxation mindfulness practices seem futile or too small to make impact. So, if you are having a relaxing week this will likely be a tad easier for you. If you are having a really stressful week, what a perfect opportunity to practice what you need!

Practice:  Gather materials. For this practice, you need a small bit of essential oil or some scented lotion. When you are ready, cue up this clip and hit play. The music will serve as your timer.

Now take the oil or lotion and place some on one of your palms. With palms facing upward slowly take a deep breath in and out, noting gratitude for the peace of the present moment. Take another breath in and out and rub your palms together . On your next breath in, hold your hands up to your nose and breathe in, taking in the scent you have chosen. If you like you can rub lotion into your hands. Continue to breathe in and out rubbing your hands together to activate the smell and breathing in the scent as you listen to the music. If any thoughts enter your mind, allow them to float away and increase your attention to the scent on your next inhale.

When this practice is finished, note that you have actually done a little bit to increase peace and calm, to adjust your body’s stress hormone level, and to relax. If you can, plan a few more relaxing practices for yourself throughout the day.

Peace!

Michele

Good Morning. The week I chose for us to practice relaxation and self-soothing turned out to be among the most stressful in recent memory. What good luck! Whether you are experiencing increased stress in your life or not, relaxation and self-soothing practices are an important part of any mindfulness practice. When you have experience with all types of mindfulness, you are able to draw on the particular type of practice that feels most helpful to you at any given time.

I think that it is fair to say that this period that includes the pandemic, painful awareness of the social and racial inequalities present in our country every day, combined with social distancing, and a barrage of news coverage of all of these issues has been more stressful for most of us. It seems as if this will be true for the near future at least.

Most of our practices have been brief-3-5 minutes. However, especially with relaxation practices, it’s often helpful to have more extended practices. This guided mindfulness exercise at 10 minutes is still considered brief, but it’s longer than the typical practices I’ve been sending out each day. I urge you to consider making time for this practice today if you possibly can.

To begin, get settled into a comfortable position (the instruction says sitting, but this one can be done sitting or lying down. Breathe, click the tape and follow along silently.

When you are finished observe anything you notice…how your body feels, any thoughts or emotions. You have nearly made it to the end of the week. Ease into your weekend recalling this relaxed state. Be sure to plan some enjoyable activities for yourself to continue to support your emotional well-being.

Enjoy!

Michele

Good Morning. Today I’d like to focus on three aspects of mindfulness: intention, attention, and attitude. Please watch this very short video that explains these concepts.

What Is Mindfulness?

In mindfulness practice, we set an intention with our instructions. You may also reflect on how the present practice links to where you would like your life to go, or how you would like to be, or why mindfulness could be useful to you. Once we know what the task for a mindfulness practice is, we can fix our attention on that task. In other words, we pay attention to whatever the guide  speaking to you or the practice tells us to. This almost always provides an opportunity for us to work on our attitude. Are we impatient with ourselves? Do we give up easily? Do we do a work-around frustration and change the practice (I didn’t mean to do 30 site ups-20 is good?

The interesting thing about practicing is that changing your attitude towards yourself and your practices changes your whole approach to your day. If you practice, you may find your judgment of others goes down. You may find yourself more patient, more curious, or just more connected to experience. This is also how the stress relieving properties of mindfulness kick in.

So, today, I will ask each of you as you breathe and sit tall to consider your intention for practicing. Why are you doing this right now? How do you think this might help you? Try to begin with this in mind.

Now breathe in deeply and out again. Today the task is to choose something to focus on for the duration of practice. It could be your feet, it could be you massage your temples, it could be you pay attention to the feel of your body as you stretch each muscle. The import thing is that you choose a focus and stick with it—do not change mid-practice. Make sure that you continue to breathe as we have practiced deeply until your lungs are filled with a slow exhale the whole time you are paying attention to the thing you decided to focus on. As you inevitably stray for a moment form our focus, be gentle with yourself, and bring yourself back to your focus.

Okay, so now you have chosen your focus for practice and you are sitting straight. You will use this music for your timer. It is 6.5 minutes– a little longer than you might be used to, but it will allow time for most people to get fidgety, bored or distracted. Remember that the point is to stay focused, and to be nonjudgmental when you lose focus, have urges to stop, etc…Adjust your volume so it is soft. Breathe and click this link to start the timer and begin your practice.

What was that like for you? For me longer practices are almost always more challenging, but provide lots of learning opportunity. Hopefully you were able to develop a patient and gentle attitude towards yourself and the practice. If you can, try to have this same gentle, patient, attentive approach to everyone and everything you encounter today. This is the gift that comes from mindfulness practice.

Enjoy the weekend!

Michele

Good Morning. We have discussed the concept of intention before. It is the idea of using the wisest part of yourself to ask yourself what is most important? It sets a course for where we wish to go with ourselves. But the tricky thing is that we often get obsessed or attached to things along the way. We get inflexible. We needed to do it a particular way. Say you planned to be outside and relax and then it rained. Outside might be lost, but what was most important? Being outside? Or relaxing? It might be tempting to get so annoyed that your plans for relaxing on a sunny day are spoiled that you forget the whole thing. Remembering the intention that we set helps us to accept unexpected turns along the way. Social isolation has been an unexpected turn. It has kept some of us away from our therapists or from our friends or from our families or from activities we most enjoy. If we try to accept twists and turns willingly then we may find we find alternate paths to where we were trying to go. Please watch this brief clip by Shauna Shapiro who describes the concept of intention and remembering what’s most important.

Now today, just do a two-minute practice…walk or sit as you breathe in and out deeply, connecting to the still and clear part of your mind. Ask yourself, what is most important for me today? Breathe until you have a clear sense of what is. When you know, try to remember this thing throughout your day. When you find yourself harried or forgetful of this priority, breathe and bring yourself back to the experience with kind attention.

Wishing you a day close to your intention!

Michele

Good Morning. For those of you who have been practicing with these email blasts since we first self-isolated in New York (mid-March), we have practiced together for over 100 days! I have tried to send out a wide variety of practices so that people new to mindfulness could see all the different ways to practice. I thought we might deepen our practice by focusing a little more deeply on specific concepts for a few days at a time. Recently, we did a week on relaxation practices.

For those who do not wish to focus on the same practice for a series, you can simply go back to some of the practices we have done already and repeat them.

For the next deeper exploration of an area of mindfulness, I have just found a really great 10-day mini-course available on Insight Timer. For those who do not know about Insight Timer, they have one of the largest online libraries of mindfulness practices, as well as an online mindfulness timer-all available free of charge. So, if you have some time, explore the site.

The Course we will practice together is called Simple Tools for Self-Acceptance. So, here is Day 1 of this series…

Sit tall, take a breath and click to begin. Listen for a five-minute instruction and five-minute practice…

https://insighttimer.com/play/course/course_simple-tools-for-self-acceptance

Reflect on this instruction. What did you learn about yourself? Do you find it easy to accept yourself, or can you be very critical of yourself? Most of us have an inner critic that can be more harmful than helpful. If you find that your self-reflection sometimes leaves you feeling less motivated, less capable, and less joyful–then keep practicing for the rest of the series with me.

Wishing you an easy day!

Michele

Good Morning. Today is our second day practicing Self-Acceptance. To show you that the universe has a sense of humor, and always provides opportunities for learning…I did not realize that that the multi-series courses in insight timer required a subscription. When I tried to share the second day of this series with you all, I realized I was unable to. Imagine how I felt. So trying not to judge myself harshly, I determined to stay with the goal of doing a deeper dive into self-acceptance for our practice group. We will keep focused on self-acceptance with a variety of other practices-some by others and some I have developed.

If you practiced yesterday, take a minute to reflect on yesterday’s practice before diving in this morning. There are enough critics outside without being harsh with yourself. It’s fine to reflect on your traits and your actions, and even to set a course for ways in which you’d like to change. However, it is when we are harsh, judgmental, and actually unkind to ourselves that we get in our own way—thwart our own intended progress. Committing to practice designed to counter the harshness of your inner critic is a kindness to yourself that you are wholly deserving of. So when you are ready, settle into a comfortable position and click the following link to do this brief practice:

A Basic Meditation to Tame Your Inner Critic

Now you can begin your day with a sense of ease. If you find that self-judgment returns throughout the day, and you really can’t change it, just try noticing your judgments. Say, ah there it is again…judgment. Then place your attention back on whatever you were doing and keep going with your day.

Wishing you an easy day!

Michele

Good Morning. This quote by fashion designer, Diane Von Furstenberg, is simple but true. It illustrates a few things. First, that you cannot run away from yourself. You can try to avoid or escape your thoughts or vulnerabilities, but they are part of you. The way to overcome them is to work with them rather than avoid them. The second thing I take from this quote is that it’s ok to enjoy life. Life is not all fun…true, but there is lots of enjoyment to be had if we engage fully. If being alone with yourself is comfortable and easy, like being with a good friend, isn’t that preferable to being with a mean coach who humiliates and berates you?

So today’s practice focuses on cultivating a sense of ease with yourself by being with yourself nonjudgmentally.  You can do this practice formally by sitting and breathing, or you may just want to take a walk while breathing and thinking. The task is to simply be with yourself, your thoughts and your observations without judging them or yourself. There is literally no way to do the practice wrong. If you notice a negative or self-deprecating thought—observe it and move on. Try to have a sense of curiosity and humor about everything. Do we really think we should be PERFECT?? Try to find something about yourself that you like or just something that you like to do and do it. Focus on it. Just be with yourself for about 20 minutes.

The more you do this, the more comfortable you will be with yourself. You may find that you feel strange or you feel like you are bored or do not know what to do at first. You may have thoughts about how interesting other people are but not you. Anything that comes up is fine…just remember the task is to develop an easy sense with yourself. Everyone is human. Everyone is different. The world is very big and there is room for whoever you are.

Have a great day!

Michele

Good Morning. As we continue this series on self-acceptance, I was pondering why this task is so difficult. Why do people police themselves to the degree that guilt is such a pervasive experience. People judge themselves even when practicing mindfulness, a task with no real measurable consequences.

I attended college on a springboard diving scholarship.  I loved being on a team. But, I distinctly recall the feeling when I performed my best or won a competition. It was not joy or elation, it was relief. I was relieved that I had done what I was supposed to do and I did not have to feel guilty. I didn’t feel that way when I was first learning to dive. I loved it. Once I had a goal to be “good” it made the experience much more difficult.

As Training Director for young forensic psychologists, I saw that my students would come in and tell me what was wrong with their research or practice before I gave them any feedback. They admonished themselves before any of the professors would criticize them. In a way it was protective.

I think people believe that if they do not have rigid goals and a harsh inner policeman, they will do nothing, stay the same, be “lazy.” My experience though tells me that sometimes it is the rigid inner scrutiny that causes people to want to give up or to escape. Scientists tell us that it is important that children are allowed to be bored and to have unstructured time in order to develop a sense of creativity, comfort being with themselves, and joy about learning from the world. Some of us may have missed this step or forgotten that experience because of the demands of our world. The media is full of idealized versions of how people should look, behave, perform…And when we make comparisons, we often feel we come up short.

Do not misunderstand, goals are not a problem, but if you are a harsh taskmaster, you can take all the joy out of striving for your goals. Even something you have personally chosen can feel oppressive. Mindfulness can feel oppressive. Any form of self-improvement or even activities for fun can become oppressive.

So today’s practice should be a little familiar if you have been doing these since March. This is my favorite loving kindness meditation. It is guided, so just click, cue up and practice. It brings a sense of joy and acceptance of yourself.

In this moment you are likely feeling at ease with yourself. Now, pay attention to this feeling and the sense that everything is okay. Your task today if you wish to deepen this practice is to do something that is new or that you are not skillful at and to breathe and try to return to this easy feeling. Do any activity that is a reach for you or that brings up feelings of inadequacy. Make some artwork, write a poem, play a sport, dance, read something you do not understand and then say to yourself, I don’t need to be perfect. The more that you experience yourself as imperfect and realize all is ok, the more you will quell your inner critic. You will be practicing self-acceptance and this leads to more joy.

Wishing you joy today!

Michele

Good Morning. This week we are working on self-compassion. Researchers identify three components to self-compassion. The first is to recognize and tune into moments when you are in pain. These can be moments of suffering great or small. Instead of telling yourself to buck up, get moving…saying to yourself, “this sucks,” is actually an essential step if we are actually going to get moving. Failure to do so often renders us stuck, dejected, feeling incapable of improving. Failing to nonjudgmentally recognize our own suffering catapults most people into a place of shame wherein you feel unworthy, unlovable and incapable.

Ok, so you say to yourself, this is really hard or this sucks…then what? Well first of all, we are often afraid to go there, because we are afraid we will be stuck there and there will be no one to help us or get us out. But when we do get ourselves there, the next part is to actually accept that pain is a part of life. We need to see that all people experience pain and sadness and there is no way around it.

When accept pain, the way through it is to comfort yourself like you would a child who is upset. I say this without being dramatic. It simply means not beating yourself up. Being kind to yourself. Not needing to have a solution to a problem to feel better about it. So that’s it. Sitting with the unknown and allowing yourself the realization that it is hard to be in the middle of conflict, grief, and worry, and knowing it is part of being human. Then– here is the key. Your response to yourself cannot be, “everyone has struggles, deal with it.” Your response must be kind. You are doing the best you can. You are ok. You can handle this. That is the essence of self-compassion.

When you cultivate self-compassion, you free yourself from shame which is paralyzing. More tomorrow about that. For now, just practice these three steps towards self-acceptance by engaging in the practice below

https://www.mindful.org/try-a-self-compassion-break/

Then, throughout today, don’t try to focus on compassion for others (I am not saying to be mean or uncaring). But, what I’m saying is that for today, focus on self-compassion and then notice how it affects your treatment of others. I think you’ll be surprised.

FYI for a great article on self-compassion, click and read if you have time…

The Transformative Effects of Mindful Self-Compassion

Have an easy weekend!

Michele

Good Morning. Today is a holiday…the Fourth of July. This is the holiday that recognizes our independence from Britain and the birth of our new, independent country. I learned from my son who is studying U.S. History, that men who wrote our Declaration of Independence completed it on July 2. John Adams thought that July 2 would be one of the most important dates to be remembered and honored. In fact, it took two more days for Congress to approve the document and for the U.S. to announce her freedom. So, it wasn’t actually ready for primetime until the Fourth.

This makes me think about the constitution. It took 12 years from our Declaration of Independence until the ratification of the U.S. Constitution. From our birth, we have been existing as a well-intentioned work of progress. We are still in development. Each amendment has been an evolution in development for our country.

In 1852, Frederick Douglass, in a powerful speech, called, What, to the slave, is your 4th of July? Douglass said,

What, to the American slave, is your 4th of July? I answer: a day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless…”

He drew a contrast between the promise of freedom and equality in our country and the reality. It took another 13 years before the 13^th amendment was passed and slavery was abolished. A slowly moving and changing work in progress.

You may be thinking what does all this have to do with mindfulness practice? We have practiced self-compassion all week long. From mindful compassion springs compassion for others.

Today, many people have reached another watershed moment of realization that the promise of equality under our law is not actualized. People in our country are suffering. The political rhetoric makes it hard to see or believe we are one nation, undivided. Is it possible to celebrate our country today in the face of this suffering? Mindfulness teaches us nonjudgment, but it also teaches discernment. So for today, your task in mindfulness is to carefully observe yourself and your experience throughout the day. Celebrate the ideals of equality and the rights delineated in the work of progress that is the United States of America, but also stay mindful of where we are in development. Stay connected to the reality of our country for all who live here.

Watch David Diggs in a short video called, What to My People is the Fourth of July based on Douglass’ words for today. Watch and observe your feelings, judgments, and emotions.

https://www.colorlines.com/articles/actor-daveed-diggs-asks-what-my-people-fourth-july

Your reactions will likely be very personal. Take a moment to observe them. If you like, write about your experience or discuss your experience to others. Today I will be celebrating the ideals of freedom and thinking about what will have to happen in order to have everyone feel included and protected under the promise of our Constitution.

Be well–Michele

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, and confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”

Melody Beattle

Good Morning. Last night there was an amazing sunset, and  beautiful bright moon. This morning, the sun is shining and the sky is blue. Although our activities are curtailed and our visiting limited, there is still much to be grateful for. The science of mindfulness includes specific benefits associated with the experience of being grateful.

See this 2 minute video which summarizes this literature in only 2 minutes

When I teach, I often highlight the concept that emotions love themselves. What does that mean? It means that when you are feeling irritated you notice more things that irritate you. Your emotion literally acts like a filter on your experience. Then angry thoughts create angry feelings, and the process repeats. This can be true for any emotion. So why not improve our feelings by focusing on things you are grateful for that make you happy. For today’s practice, you will need a piece of paper and a pen or pencil. Move on when you have that ready. If you can practice outside, do that if you like.

Now Begin breathing deeply in and out…in through your nose, feeling your shoulders rise, and then out through your nose. Click the link for a timer…

Now on your next breath, focus on anything that gives you a happy feeling, anything you feel grateful for, and notice the feeling that arises. Take a few more breaths and think about people, foods, your favorite t-shirt, activities you enjoy. Think about your capabilities or qualities. It does not matter if your list has 1 thing or many. Now put your pen or pencil down and reflect on what you have written. Generate a feeling of gratitude. It may help to think, I’m thankful for…

When the chime ends, your task is to try to keep the gratitude filter on your experience today. You may have annoying experiences, but try to scan your environment for things small and large that you are thankful for and to take in that feeling of gratitude.

Enjoy your weekend! 

Michele

In today’s rush, we all think too much—seek too much—want too much—and forget about the joy of just being.  Eckhart Tolle

Good Morning. Today’s practice focuses on the enjoyment of just being in the present moment with no demands, no obligations, and no pressure. Certainly, not all mindfulness practice is enjoyable; and certainly not all moments in life are enjoyable. One reason for practicing mindfulness is so that you control your mind instead of your mind controlling your experience.  With practice, even in the midst of stressful experiences, you will be able to escape unpleasantness through the power of your attention and where you direct it. Mindfulness teachers note that there is often joy and calm in a simple breath, but we muddy it with rumination about past things or anticipation, fear, or longing for a moment not yet here.

Thich Nhat Hanh 

“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it. (21)”
― Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life

Thich Nhat Hanh, or Ty (short for teacher), has explained that breathing in oxygen, feeling your senses working, eating food that sustains us…all these are moments that can provide happiness if we pay attention to them.

Today’s practice is simply to spend a few moments breathing, using your senses to notice the present moment. You do not need to strive for calm or happiness…just be…Just breathe or just make tea or just walk for a few moments. Make the moment about your activity or about your breath.

Make it your intention to catch yourself when you veer away from the present today, to take a moment to breathe and to notice the moment. Notice that in that very moment you are likely safe and free from harm. Savor pleasant experiences and interactions by being truly present in them.

Enjoy the pleasant moments today!

Michele

Good Morning. Time Magazine released an issue on the “mindfulness revolution. Business Executives at Google and Goldman Sachs regularly train on mindfulness. The Harvard Business review has featured stories on mindfulness. It has been touted for the findings that it boosts creativity, innovation and problem solving.

Who couldn’t use more creativity and problem solving these days?  Today’s mindfulness activity will focus on this topic. For those who have been practicing, you have been slowly increasing your capacity to be mindful. Perhaps you are noticing a difference in your interactions, in your mood, or in your ability to get engaged in things.

For today’s practice, call to mind a problem you have, or a decision you need to make. If you cannot think of one, you can draw on something from the news or a problem someone you know has discussed with you.  Sit comfortably, stretch your back up tall as you begin to settle into your familiar deep breaths in and out. Now, if you like you can set a timer, but you don’t need to if you are not rushed.

5 minute Timer:

Breathe in and out and call to mind the dilemma, situation, or problem you are thinking of. Try to examine it, like you might examine a raisin or an orange in a mindfulness observation practice. Take in all facets of your problem without judgment. If you notice judgment arise, breathe and try to restate what you mean in terms of your experience. For instance, instead of “this will never work”, try, “I feel frustrated and defeated by this problem. I fear this will never change”. Examine yourself and your experience of the problem as you examine facets of it. As you continue to breathe, play around with new information or innovation—do not worry if it can work or is realistic…just think and brainstorm. Allow thoughts to float in and out. If you wish, you can try to generate a half smile while thinking to amplify positive emotions which have been linked to creativity. Know that all things change and that in this present moment, you are breathing and well despite the challenges presented by your problem. When the bell rings, allow yourself to stop thinking about the problem. Return your attention to the present moment.

Exercises like these boost creativity by teaching us to think outside the box-to query what’s been left out. They also teach us patience because, if you are like me, you might feel like you should have solved the issue in 5 minutes. Zen teaches us we cannot control everything but also that when we let go of control and use all our attention, our wisdom can help us to choose the best course.

I wish you much creativity and energy today.

Michele

Yesterday, we focused on the idea of mindfulness for creativity and innovation. What is necessary for that creativity is risking failure. We must realize that most situations allow for repeated small failures and corrections and that this is how we find solutions. One aspect of life that has garnered a lot of attention these days is the idea of vulnerability. You have to dare to reach out and expose yourself as being imperfect to find real connectedness.

Brene Brown calls vulnerability the birthplace of creativity and all positive emotions. The Dalai Lama discusses the idea of warm-heartedness which brings piece of mind. He teaches that being open, vulnerable, and trusting is the key to warm heartedness. Dare to risk being authentic. Dare to express an idea and be wrong. Perhaps our experience has taught us that being wrong gets us punished. If you grant yourself the permission to be authentic and to try hard without the necessity to be perfect, you can develop an easy manner with yourself. The Dalai Lama does not take much too seriously. He is often laughing, pranking, with a full sense of humor. He understands that he can be playful AND serious and that his playfulness connects him to others.

What does vulnerability do for us? It brings us authentically closer to others. Over time, when we see we can be vulnerable and that nothing bad happens, it gives us peace of mind and a sense of well-being. It affords us a sense of playfulness and lightness. So how do we cultivate vulnerability?

Try this practice today…

Then, the real practice is mindfulness in action in your life. As you move throughout the day, do not be defensive. Be honest and authentic and dare to be vulnerable. Concentrate on your intentions and efforts instead of needing to prove you are ok. You are enough and your efforts are enough. Allow yourself moments of imperfection. Try to see humor in the everyday. Cultivating this type of easy manner requires vulnerability, some small humiliations, and the revelation that all is fine even if you are imperfect. This is not easy, especially for type A personalities who like to control (like me and maybe you too). No matter who you are, try to be a little vulnerable and have an easy sense of humor.

Wishing you good humor today.

Michele

Good Morning. Yesterday, we focused on the topic of vulnerability. We practiced exposing ourselves to a space where we are accepting of our imperfection, open to feedback, and non-defensive. To sit in this space has been found to increase creativity and to help people to reach personal goals. The more we practice authenticity without defensiveness, the more deeply we can be connected to others without conflict. But it does take practice. Being vulnerable can be likened to writing with your non-dominant hand. It takes persistence. It is not comfortable for us taking feedback. It is not comfortable for us facing the unknown. Why would we do this to ourselves? One study found that courage like this increased when it was connected to one’s value system. For instance, if I want to be a good therapist or a good parent or a good citizen and I believe vulnerability and authenticity and courage are necessary, I will put in practice to grow in these areas. What’s surprising is that very little time is needed to actually change our behavior in this regard.

A recent study found that focusing on primary values in a 15-minute mindfulness practice increased willingness to listen to information about medical risks and decreased avoidance of such information. It increased courage. For anyone in therapy, being able to be truly honest with your therapist requires courage. For students to take feedback from teachers, for athletes to trust coaches-for anyone to have a conversation about racial bias-all these things require courage. The study found if we focus on an important personal value we hold, it will increase our courage because living values necessitates courage.

So for today’s practice, you need to begin by thinking for a few moments about your most important personal values. Values are principles, strengths, personal qualities, roles, or experiences that are most meaningful and important to you. Examples include virtues (like honesty, patience, courage, or compassion), finding the beauty or humor in life, faith, connection to nature, service to others, being a good parent, child, or sibling, Having a commitment to lifelong learning, thriving on adventure, honoring tradition, embracing creativity or engaging in best practices in your profession.

What is one value that is very important to you? Click the following 5 minute timer…

Sit tall, breathe in and out deeply and read or listen to the following prompts to identify one of your most meaningful personal values:

Think about principles you hold…

Think about strengths you value…

Think about personal qualities you value…

Think about ways to engage with the world like seeing beauty, seeing humor or irony, being connected to nature…

Consider roles or relationships in your life you hold to be important…

Choose just one value that you hold or that you aspire to…

Now reflect on a time when you embodied that value. See yourself as you lived that particular value or exhibited that strength or quality. Or, you may use your imagination to see yourself in a future scenario living your value. Imagine yourself being honest or compassionate or caring for someone. Reflect on your value and why it is important to you. Identify yourself with this value. Continue to breathe until your timer signals the end of the practice.

Today, try to have awareness of the value or quality you want to embody floating in your mind all day as you proceed with your activities.  Living your values requires that you gently self-evaluate with the awareness that living values is something you need to strive for over and over. It is not a destination that is reached. Rather it is a course that is set. Focusing on your most important values will increase courage and compassion so you may live wholeheartedly.

Be brave!   

Michele

Good Morning. We have been discussing courage…the courage to face your own feelings, to brave vulnerability, to brave discomfort, to brave being a beginner. One thing that is helpful to remember is that often our fear about what an experience will be like is much worse than the actual experience. Being honest, authentic, and vulnerable does mean that some moments will be awkward. When you quit avoiding tasks or people that evoke shame in you, you will experience some shame or discomfort, but you can train yourself to get used to that. The payoff? Getting rid of heaps of useless, toxic, unjustified shame.

Through mindfulness attention to the present moment, you can cultivate self-compassion and adopt a gentle attitude towards yourself. We avoid things that hold up a mirror to our imperfection. But if we accept that we are not perfect, we have no need to beat ourselves up when we see imperfection. We are free then to plot a course towards improvement, released from the paralysis that comes from avoiding in to protect our own feelings or self-image.

The absolutely great news is that you can develop courage to sit with things that evoke discomfort or shame through lots of everyday things that we all avoid. A pile of bills? I’m disorganized. A pile of laundry? I’m a slob. Reaching out to someone? What if they blow me off? There are no end to the ways we can meet up with our critical selves, embrace the unpleasant and grow courage to sit through discomfort. This also makes it easier to have an easy manner because you will learn that you are actually not so bad!

So today’s practice is to sit tall and breathe. Click this meditation timer and after the second chime, consider things you avoid or things that make you feel awkward or unskillful.

Know that being unskillful is not bad, it is a starting place. Remember to try to have an easy manner. You may not have felt like practicing, but if you are listening or reading now, you practiced anyway. Think about tasks you least want to do today. Imagine yourself not just facing those tasks, but embracing the whole experience–leaning in to the acts with full participation and without judgment. Choose one or more tasks you do not like and make it your intention to embrace them throughout your day. When the chimes ring to signal the end of the practice. If you pick the thing you most want to avoid and do it, the other tasks become even easier. You will have grown your courage to sit in vulnerability.

Have a day with unpleasant opportunities!

Michele

Good Morning. This past week our mindfulness practices have involved sitting in vulnerability, developing courage, and cultivating an easy manner with ourselves through exposure to uncomfortable feelings.

I have stressed the difference between types of mediation practices. I use the word practice to refer to times we engage in mindfulness exercises for a set time with a set purpose. That’s what these emails are meant to help you do.  Sometimes, we can do these in order to set us up for the day or to relieve stress or to prepare us for good sleep in the evening. However, I think the most important gift that comes with regular mindfulness practice is the ability to live mindfully when we are in the middle of our chaotic lives. The goal is to live mindfully in action throughout your day. Understand that there is a direct correlation between how frequently we practice mindfulness intentionally and our ability to live our lives in a mindful state.

That’s where consistency and tenacity come into play. Doing practices sporadically will relax you and provide many, small aha moments, but practicing consistently will change the way you experience the world and will change your reactions to your experiences. Great athletes don’t have great workouts each day, but they work out most days. Even rest days are designed in relation to workouts. They are intentional.

You are busy you say! True. So, if you see a mindfulness email from me and you cannot even open it, stop and take one deep breath in and out to connect that moment to your other practices. Try to make a commitment to do something each day to develop your capacity to be present-nonjudgmentally-all the time. Your struggles to do this, for better or worse, are part of the process. I read a quote on the Daily Dharma by Jan Chozen Bays that reflects this idea…

Meditation has its own pace. The practice brings you just the

challenges you need and are able to handle at the right time.

Maybe your challenge is just to read this. Maybe it is to finish once you start. Maybe it’s to ignore your judgment if you find the music too loud or to stick with it if you dislike the practice on a given day. Today’s practice is a gratitude practice—to have gratitude even in challenging times. It’s often the greatest challenges that provide us the greatest opportunities for growth and insight. So click and begin…

Did you notice liking this practice? Great. Did you notice that you did not like this practice? Great! Either way, you practiced and whatever experience or lesson it brought you was just right for your process. FYI, I personally dislike the guided practice in the link I included today. It was great practice for me to be patient and nonjudgmental.

Enjoy the weekend! 

Michele

This week’s mindfulness practices have provided opportunities to push yourself in your practice. In Zen, the concept of balance is very important. Things exist in apparent opposition to one another: warm and cool, light and dark, etc…Hard work for our minds and for our bodies is good for us. It makes us feel alive and connected. The balance, though, to hard work is rest. So today, we will practice rest together.

Savasana (pronounced sha-va-sunah), is a yoga practice that ends many yoga classes. Savasana is also called corpse pose. It is a deep relaxing, restorative pose. Today’s practice is to click this link to practice this brief guided savasana. To begin, it’s best to be on a firm surface, so lie on the floor on a towel or a mat. You can also choose to do this on a bed, especially f you choose to do this before you go to sleep. If doing this during the day, do not worry if you fall asleep, that’s absolutely fine if it happens.

6-minute guided Savasana

20-minute guided Savasana

Rest is a really important part of all of our lives, but it’s really hard to rest when we are stressed or when we push ourselves to power through our days. This rest is not giving up or avoiding. It is intentional and it is the essential balance to everything else that you do.

Enjoy a restful Sunday!

Michele

Good Morning. Yesterday, I injured my shoulder and it was and still is very uncomfortable. One of the benefits of mindfulness that I haven’t discussed very much in our series is its ability to manage pain. Many years ago, when I was an intern, I completed a rotation in a Pain Management Clinic. It was a place where medicine and psychology came together many years before integrated medicine was a well-respected field.

I led people in hypnosis, biofeedback, and also mindfulness practices designed to assist people with chronic pain. I still remember a very young woman, aged 22. She had been hit by a taxi that pinned her against a cement wall breaking bones and severing nerves in both her legs. Miraculously, she was not killed. She had multiple surgeries and still had her legs, but she experienced terrible pain in her legs and feet. I was impressed with her positive attitude and I wanted to help her, so I researched pain relief techniques and met with my supervisors. We devised a guided imaginal script. I was doubtful about this practice that seemed like the “magic tonics” from the 18oo’s. Nevertheless, I worked with her and amazingly her pain diminished significantly week by week. That rotation, I worked with people with treatment resistant migraines and back surgeries that had failed. It was the ability to control breathing and attention that seemed helpful to me, but for many, the power of combining these with visualization has the best results. Current research supports the combined power of mental imagery and relaxation. People can use visualization practices to lower heart rate, change blood chemistry and even potentiate the effects of chemotherapy.

This 5-minute script is perfect for anyone, whether you are in pain or not.

If you actually have a headache or some chronic pain, you may wish to try this 10-minute guided visualization meditation.

Use these practices whenever you have a headache or any other pain that you understand and are trying to cope with.

Have a nice day!

Michele

Good Morning. One of the main benefits of mindfulness I sell to people is the fact that when you train your mind with practice, you can control your attention and your mood instead of having your day determined by negative thoughts or unpleasant emotions. When you deepen your mindfulness practice, you will find that you can choose practices suited to your personal needs, to major events in your life as they arise, and to your personal preferences.

For example, if you have trouble sleeping, a nightly relaxation mindfulness practice makes sense to include in your routines. If you wake up groggy and have a hard time getting the day started, you might choose mindfulness with coffee. If you wake up with anxiety or anger, there are practices for you. We have done many of these practices since March.

Today, your task will be to identify if you are feeling the need for increased alertness and energy or a more calming practice. So begin by observing your current state.

Personally, I usually wake up alert, cheerful, and ready for the day. You could say I am a morning person. Today, I’m feeling a little slow and tired. I’m going to choose an energizing mindfulness practice.

If you are waking up anxious or overwhelmed or irritated, try the second practice link below designed for equanimity, defined as “mental calmness and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.” In Buddhism equanimity is a steady conscious realization of the transience of reality. It means we are able to be in stressful situations without being swept up in them, we develop a deep inner calmness or wisdom, like a tree with deep roots that is able to withstand rain and wind.

Mindfulness for energy:

Take a brisk mindful walk or click the following link for a visualization practice for energy

Mindfulness for equanimity:

Throughout the day, do your best to pay attention to your energy level, your attention, and your awareness of your emotional state. Try to use your breath to upregulate and energize if you are feeling tired or to relax your body and mind if you are feeling overwhelmed or irritated.

Have a good day!

Michele

Good Morning. There is much unrest and suffering in the world. Often we see pain, injustice, suffering in others and it is frankly overwhelming. We want to avoid or to protect ourselves from the pain or we think there is nothing we can do for this person or for a huge or devastating problem. There is a specific Tibetan Buddhist mediation practice called Tonglen. Tong means giving or sending and len means receiving or taking. Through accepting pain and sending compassion we release strength. We can heal others and ourselves from suffering through this practice.

This ancient practice uses breath and visualization to imagine breathing in the pain and suffering of yourself and others and breathing out compassion, hope, and well-being. It is one thing we can do when someone we care about is suffering and there appears to be little we can do to help or change their situation.

Today’s Practice:

For today’s practice, you will need to choose some pain or suffering that you wish to work on. It may be broad suffering such as the pain of all the people of a country devastated by drought or famine, it could be all the people devastated by COVID-19 or it could be the specific suffering of the loss of one person due to the virus. Perhaps someone close to you is suffering with illness, financial stress, or the pain of coming to terms with abuse, or the guilt of having harmed people because of an addiction. Choose the suffering you wish to alleviate. Imagine it in your mind’s eye.

Settle in to a comfortable upright position. Click the timer…

(Read) Listen to the sound of the Mindfulness Bell. Enter into a state of present awareness. Breathe in and out.

(Read) Now call to mind the suffering you have chosen to work on.

Once you have come into contact with the suffering in this person, imagine it as thick gunky black smoke. Try to breathe in the quality of heaviness. This hot, heavy, stagnation is the stuckness people feel when they are hopeless and suffering. If you wish, you can imagine your heart opening wide enough to let the smoke in.

(Read) Imagine your heart dissolving the smoke. On your out breath, imagine releasing out spaciousness and compassion. Imagine a clear white cool refreshing breeze releasing outwards.

Synchronize your breathing, breathing in pain and darkness and breathing out clear, fresh compassionate energy–working so that the length of your inhales and exhales are uniform.

When you hear the bell end the practice, imagine the person or situation you were using for your practice one last time. Imagine sending out water for drought or food for those who are hungry. Or if it is emotional suffering you were doing tonglen practice for, imagine sending out relief, strength or happiness for the person you were practicing for.

Investigate more about this practice if you like…

https://www.lionsroar.com/how-to-practice-tonglen/

Have a nice day! 

Michele

Mingyur Rinpoche Tibetan Buddhist teacher has said that in order to deal skillfully with difficult people, we must work on our attention. He says that each of us has innate goodness or wisdom, but we often fail to notice it. He likens the experience to wearing a watch but never looking at your wrist to see the time…you cannot tell time unless you notice your watch. Just like this, we often have abilities we could use to deal skillfully with others, but we fail to see the good or skillful qualities in ourselves. If a person has 10 qualities, 9 might be wonderful qualities like caring, kindness, being bright, etc…and perhaps only one quality is problematic. We often pay attention most to this problematic part of ourselves. It becomes the loudest or the most obvious quality; it becomes magnified. We act on the negative urges, especially when we feel wronged by another person.

We also practice this selected attention when it comes to other people we find difficult. We hone in on their most negative qualities and fail to attend to their positive qualities. We get locked into conflict. We feel that the drama of our interactions negatively impacts us and causes us unhappiness. It is true that conflict is part of life. Being treated unkindly is also often part of life. But, drama is optional. Hitching our happiness onto another person is a choice.

So today’s practice is a Metta Meditation (a loving kindness meditation). You know this is my favorite version of this practice. If you want a different version, you can do any metta meditation on youtube. Before you begin, think about a quality in yourself you would like to recede and qualities you would like to grow. Think about others with whom you have frequent conflict. Decide that you will practice this metta mindfulness in order to wish good things to them in service of having less drama and stress in your life.

Sit tall and click the following link—don’t forget to breathe

This practice builds positive energy and loosens up conflict. Try it whenever you feel locked into an interpersonal struggle with someone.

Have a drama-free day!

Michele

Good Morning. Today’s practice is about gratitude. Research has shown that intentionally practicing gratitude makes us happier. It changes our brain and gets rid of a negative cognitive set…in other words, it frees us from scanning the world for bad things.

Yesterday, one of my close friends had an eight hour surgery. She apparently did well, but needed to go back to surgery in the middle of the night due to a complication seen in about 10% of people. Rather than say, I’m one of the 10%…of course I am…her response was, “I’m so happy the nurse caught this!”

For today’s practice it does not matter if you think about one thing or many, or if you think about little things like a flower outside your window or a big thing like an important relationship.

Today’s Mindfulness:

Our practice today has no chimes and no relaxing music or sounds. It is a quiet practice. You can sit or recline. Begin with a deep breath.

Sit and inhale deeply, noticing the moment your lungs are full, and then exhale. On your next inhale consider the oxygen being brought into your body and to each of your organs to keep you alive. See if you can connect to this oxygen as you breathe in and out. Consider the chair or the floor where you sit. It is solid and supports you. Feel that in the present moment, oxygen and a place to sit are all that you need. Continue to breathe in and out.

Now, take a moment to reflect on any of the things in your life that you are thankful for. Think about basic things like food, a place to be dry on a rainy day, a place to rest in the evening, your physical capabilities, your mind, your capacity to care for others, your ability to make choices and change if you wish to. Think about people in your life you are thankful for (whether you know them or you do not). If you like you can make a list of blessings. For each think you think of say to yourself, I am grateful for…and take a breath in and out before moving to something else. If you get distracted or judgmental, just take a new breath, and gently prod yourself to find something you actually appreciate. Do this reset as many times as you need to.

When your practice is concluded, process it for a moment. How did it make you feel? What did you notice?

The idea of practices like this is not only the brief warm feelings that they generate, rather it is to develop in yourself a moment to moment noticing of things you are grateful for. This creates a balance to many negative things in the world we are primed to notice.

So, today, I am grateful that my friend is out of surgery and recovering. I am grateful for the wonderful surgeon who operated on her. I am grateful for the nurse who watched over her and monitored her. Notice things you are grateful for throughout the day and into your weekend. For starters…it is Friday!

Peace.

Michele

Good Morning. We have discussed the idea of having an easy manner and letting go of stressors. You may have observed that many of the great mindfulness teachers appear to have a playful sense of humor; they have an easy manner.

For today’s practice, please use this guided mindfulness practice by Deepak Chopra designed to cultivate living care-free. I have been brief in my introduction as the guided meditation has an introduction to the topic of living care-free and its importance. The Sanskrit words Sat Chit Ananda means “existence, consciousness,  and bliss.” You will be chanting those words silently to yourself. Enjoy this practice…

Try to embody a care-free approach to your weekend, avoiding drama and avoiding unnecessary stress.

Enjoy your weekend!

Michele

Good Morning. We have been spending a few days on the concept of equanimity. Equanimity, as we have discussed, is being connected-without being disrupted or derailed by things that happen outside you. It is responding, instead of reacting. It is undoubtedly easier to be unmoved by circumstances around you if you shut down or if you “just don’t care.” However, that is not living. It is not effective or satisfying…too much is lost. This is why equanimity requires attention and balance. It is achieving a solidness, being centered, even in difficult circumstances. And it is achieved with practice.

Deepak Chopra has described equanimity as, “being friendly toward the happy, compassionate to the unhappy, taking delight in the virtuous, being indifferent to the wicked.” Achieving this approach to being in the world happens with consistent mindfulness practice. Perhaps some of you practicing since March together with all the people reading these mindfulness emails are beginning to feel more equanimity.

For today’s practice, sit up straight. Take a deep breath in to wake yourself up and then click and follow the practice on the link below.

Thank you for practicing. Enjoy a restful Sunday!

Michele

Good Morning everyone. This morning I woke up to freezer melting and ice cream on the floor due to power failure. Trying to breathe and practice equanimity.

Please listen to this talk by Pema Chodron on when things fall apart. I think it’s timely for me and also for all of us these days…

Wishing you all calm in the storm!

Michele

Good Morning People! In an effort to have you continue to practice each day, I have decided to try something new this morning. I recorded my practice, just sitting and noticing sights and sounds of nature. This is not exactly professional production, but hopefully it will do the trick today.

Click the following link to join. Remember nonjudgmental stance!

Wishing for a calm day for each of you and if it cannot be calm, wishing you a quick return to this practice with a breath!

Michele

Good Morning. Hope this finds you all well. Today, I want to tell you a tiny bit about mantras. These are repeated phrases that can be used while practicing. Mantras focus your attention because you are repeating a phrase and it is difficult to think of other things while repeating a phrase. Many traditions use chanting, such as the familiar om. Others repeat Sanskrit phrases that evoke meaning or suggest intention. Mantra meditations have been shown to be beneficial for relaxation (as opposed to emotional awareness or emotion regulation). Their benefits are thought to be derived from the time that your brain shuts off from thinking or feeling. They can be thought of as a rest for your brain and body. Other mindfulness practices I’ve introduced are not relaxing—they are work. They train your brain to notice when it’s off-task and redirect back to breath or to whatever task you want to be doing. So today, if you are practicing with me,  you get a break. The only task is to listen to this guided mini-mantra meditation and give your mind a break..

Just notice how you feel after the practice. In order to get the benefits of this type of meditation- which include improved cognitive function and fewer negative physical events from stress-research suggests that you practice at least 10-15 minutes a day (or at least several times a week).

Be well!

Michele

Good Morning. Those of you who know me may think that I am proposing a one second mindfulness in order to fit more things to do in my life or to make you fit more into yours. Not true! It’s also not true that one second mindfulness means only one second of being mindful. Rather, what I’m suggesting for today is attempting to collect many single moments of being connected throughout your day. This is the practice of living mindfully.

To begin, I thought I would show you this brief clip by Mindfulness Teacher, Mingyur Rinpoche, who explains that mindfulness does not need to be stressful or even time consuming. Watch…

Today’s practice will begin when you begin your day. Your task is to do one second mindfulness using your breath. Throughout the day, whenever you can, return to breath for one second. Do this over and over. Notice your experiences and particularly at times when you feel annoyed or frustrated, just try to breathe for 1 second. The idea here is not to change anything or control anything—it is simply to be nonjudgmentally present with your own experiences (pleasant or unpleasant). This involves making friends with your frustrations. Think of today’s task as having your breath (and all of your mind) go along for the ride. You don’t need to try to change anything, just breathe along with any experiences you might be noticing.

Be well!

Michele

Hello. I have been informing you all about specific benefits associated with particular types of mindfulness practice. Mindfulness practices like many we have been doing have been shown to improve the quality of sleep. Have any of you noticed any changes in sleep? Like physical exercise earlier in the day, practicing mindfulness in the morning can positively impact sleep at night. The ability to control your mind which we practice in the day helps us not to get stuck in worry thoughts in the evening.

Even with this practice, settling yourself in the evenings—transitioning from the stress and activity of the day–to the evening can be a challenge. Many people use that time when they jump in bed to plan (or worry) about the next day’s activities. It is true that your tomorrow will absolutely be a bit better with some planning rather than just winging it. However, when and where you choose to plan your next day or problem solve challenges can make a big difference. Do NOT do that sort of planning in your bed. If you catch yourself doing that, and feel like it’s important, get up and leave your bed. If you like, you can make planning the last thing you do before you begin a nighttime routine. Sit upright in a chair and use a pen or pencil to jot things down if you like. When you leave the chair and put away the writing materials, it is a signal to your brain that you are finished with that activity.

For today’s practice, try this guided mindfulness to use right before you go to sleep…If you like, try it now for practice (and a little relaxation) and then again before sleep.

Better sleep takes time and commitment to happen. There are many great resources on tips for better sleep. I have included very brief handout with bullet points of practices research has shown to have benefits on sleep. It is extremely helpful to develop a set of evening rituals or a specific routine for yourself. Doing so will prime you for relaxation and better sleep over time. Try to pick something that you can realistically maintain.

Wishing you a restful night!

Michele

Good Morning. As our world continues to be intense and chaotic, developing and maintaining equanimity can be challenging. Equanimity can be defined as mental calmness and composure even in difficult situations. It is the quality of being present in the world without getting swept up in things or becoming reactive. It is also the source of wisdom and wise decision making. Today we will look at one of the threats to achieving mental composure which is confusing equanimity with being detached or shut down.

Equanimity is important because it protects us from needless emotional suffering and keeps us from doing things we may later regret. Frequently, Buddhist teachings explain that we need to let go of attachments in order to achieve equanimity. What does this mean and how does it impact our ability to be balanced and calm even in difficult situations? We can become attached to almost anything. We can be attached to things like gold chains, or nice cars or we can become attached to ideas, believing we have the only true idea. We can be so attached to success that we set ourselves up for emotional turmoil when we make a mistake. We can be attached to praise from others, so much so that we lack an internal sense of who we are. We can even become attached to negative ideas or things. When we do not see a failure in the broad context of all of who we are and what we do, we overly identify with failure, and we feel incompetent or inadequate. But the opposite of being attached is not being shut down or not caring—it is being balanced.

Buddhist teaching describes equanimity as an emotion. I think this may seem confusing. It was to me. Isn’t equanimity the absence of emotion? It turns out no, equanimity is not the absence of emotion, it is awareness of emotions without being swept up by them. For those of you practicing DBT, you can think of equanimity as wise mind.

One translation of the ancient words used to describe equanimity is to “look over, with understanding.” The Buddha described a mind with equanimity as “abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility, and without ill-will.” This does not sound cold or aloof.

Buddhism teaches that when one is truly nonjudgmentally attentive to all beings and then compassion and warmth will be present. So, equanimity is not being detached or shut down. It is noticing with balance and without overattachment or reactivity. It is being deeply connected without being desperate or needing the world and the people around you to be any particular way. Achieving equanimity requires managing our emotions with kindness and with self-compassion when the world disappoints or frustrates us. It requires staying present with your emotions without ignoring them or shutting down (and of course without acting impulsively).

So today, as you practice equanimity, try to do so without shutting down or “deciding you don’t care.” Try to be present rather than to be perfect.

Sit tall, stretch until you are comfortable and ready to begin. Then press this timer,

Now, if you can, bring to your mind someone or something that has disappointed you, frustrated you or made you very angry. Breathe in and notice fully all the thoughts and feelings about the situation.

Now on your next breath, consider the concept of equanimity. Imagine yourself with your feet rooted to the floor while the situation swirls around you. You may have angry thoughts, unfair thoughts, or you may just feel strong emotions. Try with each breath to pay attention to your thoughts and feelings with care and without judging them. Do not force yourself to be reasonable or even compassionate. First, be accepting of where you are and your reactions to the situation. Notice any urges to act on your thoughts and feelings, but do not. Just breathe in with kind attention.

If you feel you are ready, see if you can notice other things about the situation. Other details and context…even what others involved might have been thinking or experiencing. Continue to breathe in and out, noticing that you are in this moment just observing with care. Pay attention to what it feels like to be in the middle of your situation with deep awareness, but without acting.

When the bell rings to end the practice take a final deep breath in and out…

Throughout your day when things upset you, try not to react impulsively and at the same time try to deeply connect with care to your thoughts and feelings. Remember that equanimity is not shutting down, distracting, or deciding you do not care.

Enjoy your weekend!

Michele

Good Morning. We have been discussing the importance of equanimity-being firmly rooted, calm, and yet connected-even in painful or difficult situations. Mindfulness practices that emphasize noticing and paying attention to present experience develop our capacity for equanimity. This may involve observing and describing a peanut, and also includes noticing one’s internal experiences like thoughts and emotions.

Yesterday we discussed that being either overly attached or being completely detached from experience is a major threat to calm composure. Today, I thought we would think a bit about how being too attached or not connected enough is a problem. When we are too attached, we become desperate and develop tunnel vision. We become like a drowning person grabbing the person trying to save them who brings down both of them.

When we are stuck on one path, one outcome, one person, or one thing, we have a very high degree of need to control. It is that intense need to control that makes calm composure impossible and plummets us into fear. Attachment causes us to fear any threat to our perspective, plans, or preferences. We get anxious and angry when anything threatens our control.

What then is the problem with the other extreme…not caring, being detached, having no preferences or plans? Well, being detached removes us from emotions like joy and feelings of connectedness. We can become insensitive to the suffering of others.

So, yesterday we practiced walking the middle path—being present, and connected, but allowing and accepting outcomes contrary to our preferences and plans. I started thinking about how hard it is to let go of attachment to physical things, but perhaps even more so to our wishes, thoughts, and perspectives. I thought about what practices could make it easier to let go of the need to control and could reduce the general fear that goes along with loss of control.

My favorite practice, metta meditation, or loving kindness meditation seems to have a lot to offer here. Loving-kindness can be described as a mental state or an attitude that is achieved and maintained with practice. It is the act of generating unconditionally warm, nonjudgmental feelings towards yourself and others. The key to this practice is the warm, positive feelings. Loving kindness does two things that make it easier to develop equanimity. First, when we sit in warmth and recall love, we realize that we are safe and well. This practice reduces the generalized fear that something bad will happen if we don’t hold the reigns of our experience fiercely. The second thing such practices do is to help us to feel connected and warm towards others, thus ensuring that we do not become detached or cold in our quest for equanimity. Loving kindness meditation also seems to be one of the quickest acting and most potent practices we have. Watch this clip by researcher Daniel Goleman on this type of mindfulness practice (you can skip this part if pressed for time, but come back when you can…findings are impressive):

Daniel Goleman on the effects of loving kindness

https://www.mindful.org/loving-kindness-meditation-makes-better-human/

Then, for today’s practice, please breathe and click the following link to practice loving kindness…

Throughout your day, try to notice experience inside and out without trying to control it. Try not to control your emotions, so much as recognizing them kindly (whether they are convenient or not). Try to notice conflicts with others without feeling threatened by them or judging them. Notice any unpleasant emotions these interactions prompt. Recall the feeling of safety and loving kindness generated this morning. Take in your moment to moment experiences with the confidence that we have resources in abundance, we have few absolute needs, and there are often multiple effective paths for achieving anything.

Be well!

Michele

By now, if you have been practicing with these email blasts, you will have developed a bit of experience with a wide variety of mindfulness practices. I’ve decided that for the rest of the summer, it might be useful to get deep practice with one specific practice.

In 1967, the Beatles released the single, “All You Need is Love.” Recent research has indicated that metta, or Loving-Kindness meditations may make the most changes in our lives. So, with that in mind, for the rest of the summer, we will practice solely loving kindness. You may want to keep a journal to see if you notice any changes in your lives. Recall that this type of practice is linked to fast changes that lead to happiness and a sense of well-being. These practices reduce conflict and help us to be compassionate to ourselves as well as others.

For this morning, I picked a kind of wild one. See what you think…

May you be happy!

Michele

Good Morning,

As we continue to practice loving kindness, please click the following link and follow along with this guided loving kindness meditation led by Jamie Zimmerman…

Good Morning. Today will be a whole week of loving-kindness. Have you noticed anything about yourself? Are you more patient? More gentle? For today’s loving kindness practice, we will begin with a few deep breaths in and out. Begin by thinking about something that makes you smile, a person you love or that loves or loved you…any happy thought or memory. Continue to breathe in and out slowly as you read the following phrases.

May I be safe

May I be happy

May I be free

May I be peaceful

May I awaken to the light of my inner kindness

Now, think of a person you feel love for and repeat…

May you be safe

May you be happy

May you be free

May you be peaceful

May you awaken to the light of your inner kindness

Now think of someone you have seen, but you do not actually know-someone you feel neutral about and repeat…

May you be safe

May you be happy

May you be free

May you be peaceful

May you awaken to the light of your inner kindness

Now, focus on a person you disagree with or who you find annoying-someone who causes you frustration or emotional distress. Think of them and repeat…

May you be safe

May you be happy

May you be free

May you be peaceful

May you awaken to the light of your inner kindness

Now, feeling the warmth extend to all people and creatures, repeat…

May all beings be safe

May all beings be happy

May all beings be free

May all beings be peaceful

May all beings awaken to the light of their inner kindness

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Michele

Good Morning. Welcome to Day 8 of our Loving -Kindness Series. Please click the following link for a chanted version of the traditional Metta (Loving Kindness) with English translation of each phrase below the Pali phrases.

Be Well!

Michele

Good Morning! Welcome to Loving Kindness Day 9. This is a very nice Metta Mindfulness Practice guided by Kirsten Johnson. Her instructions are very clear. (12 minutes)…

When you are settled and connected to your breath, click the following link:

Thinking of Self…

May I be Safe

May I be Healthy and Strong

May I be Happy and Peaceful

May I Live with Ease in this World

Thinking of a Mentor or Person you Feel Naturally Close to…

May you be Safe

May you be Healthy and Strong

May you be Happy and Peaceful

May you Live with Ease in this World

Thinking of a Neutral Person…

May you be Safe

May you be Healthy and Strong

May you be Happy and Peaceful

May you Live with Ease in this World

Thinking of Someone You are in Conflict with…

May you be Safe

May you be Healthy and Strong

May you be Happy and Peaceful

May you Live with Ease in this World

Extending Kindness Outwards to All…

May you be Safe

May you be Healthy and Strong

May you be Happy and Peaceful

May you Live with Ease in this World

Namaste!

Michele

Good Morning. I’m feeling gratitude today as my power was out for 14 hours and came back on overnight and charged up the laptop so I could write to you this morning. As we continue to explore variations on the Loving Kindness, also known as Maitri or Metta Meditation. When you feel ready, please click the following link to follow this guided meditation led by yoga instructor, Jay Molloy…

https://insighttimer.com/johannamolloy/guided-meditations/loving-kindness-meditation-111

How do you feel after each of these practices? Do you find yourself a bit more at ease? Are you struggling with the practices? If so, can you try to let go of unwillingness, breathe deeply and try to practice letting go of each judgment as it arises.

Wishing you a day where you are comfortable and at ease…

Michele

Good morning. As we continue our series on loving kindness, you might be noticing that you have preferences about the type of practice (silent, guided, chanting) or if guided, the person’s voice leading the practice. Generally, part of mindfulness practice is to throw one’s self into the task despite any of these attachments we might have. While that’s true, it’s also true that we practice different things at different times. We are practicing loving kindness or Metta meditation. So if you find you have a very good experience with any of these Metta Practices, feel free to just repeat that practice each day for the rest of our loving kindness series.

Today, click the following link for a very brief, simple loving kindness practice

Be well!

Michele

Good Morning. There are so many reasons for practicing loving kindness. Research studies have examined many benefits related to this specific type of mindfulness practice. I hope after 11 days, you are starting to notice some of the benefits personally. For the next few days, I’ll try to highlight specific benefits associated with loving kindness/Metta practices.

The first benefit is one we have discussed a fair amount—the idea of equanimity. The ability to be fully present-not disengaged-but stable and unmoved in the midst of chaos and conflict. This year has provided tons of learning opportunities for all of us. Most of us have had to deal with crises, tensions and conflicts we probably could not have imagined a few years ago. Certainly, we couldn’t have imagined the way that they were piled one on top of the other.

The ability to feel pain and to process and manage it instead of avoiding or overreacting to pain with a whole host of unhealthy responses is the task of equanimity. It’s sticking with a problem or difficult person until a path forward is identified. Sometimes, it takes a long time. We are all waiting for a COVID-19 vaccine and what’s required is making a meaningful life with all its new constraints until we find a vaccine. It means we will be unsure. It means we may criticize others for their handling of things. There is no way to know the perfect responses, but equanimity means that we sit and take in all the information available at any given time with a loving, caring, stance…working our way through fear, anger, resentment, and fatigue to make our best decisions moment by moment. It means we make our meaningful life, even if we don’t like it’s new parameters.

Loving Kindness Practices create the warm feeling of equanimity. This feeling or approach is often described as calm, but it is not a cool detached calm…not an, “I don’t care” calm. It is like a parent caring for a sick child…caring and wishing the child well, while being present and aware enough not to make mistakes dosing Tylenol. Being present enough to manage the parent’s fear and to offer comfort and calmness to the child.

I had a friend once who was really sick at college. She went to the health center and found out she had pneumonia. I asked her what her mother said and she said, “Oh, I could never tell my mother, she would freak out and it would be all about her.” This stuck with me all these years. Her mother loved her so much and she couldn’t bear that her daughter was sick, and she was so unable to manage her own fear that she couldn’t provide comfort to her daughter. She loved her daughter, but she could never be the calm in the storm. Equanimity is being warm, caring, and compassionate- even in a conflict. Loving kindness practice creates the spaciousness or mind or perspective to be able to do this. It allows us to love someone even when they do something wrong, to teach someone when they are ignorant, to stick with someone when they are unmotivated or riddled with lack of self-confidence. Loving kindness expands our perspective so that we can respond thoughtfully and compassionately to the people and situations that threaten us the most.

So for today’s practice, I have adapted a practice from Thich Nhat Hahn. To begin, sit up, breathe, settle in, and try to adopt a gentle half-smile. Begin by thinking about how hard it is to be you today. What challenges do you face? Breathe and think, “This is hard.” Wish yourself well. Repeat the following phrases:

May I learn to look at myself with the eyes of understanding and love.
May I be able to recognize and touch the seeds of joy and happiness in myself.
May I learn to identify and see the sources of anger, craving, and delusion in myself.
May my mind be open like a child’s.

May I be calm and peaceful in the midst of confusion.

Now, thinking about someone you love or admire (whether you know them or not). Feel your face in a gentle smile and feel warmth in our heart for them. Repeat…

May they learn to look at themself with the eyes of understanding and love.
May they be able to recognize and touch the seeds of joy and happiness in themselves.

May they learn to identify and see the sources of anger, craving, and delusion in themselves.
May their mind be open.

May they be calm and peaceful in the midst of confusion.

Now think about a stranger or a person who you barely know. A person you have seen once or twice whom you recognize, but have no feelings about. Picture their face in your mind, place a gentle smile on your face and allow the warm feeling in your heart to extend to this person. Repeat…

May they learn to look at themselves with the eyes of understanding and love.
May they be able to recognize and touch the seeds of joy and happiness in themselves.

May they learn to identify and see the sources of anger, craving, and delusion in themselves.
May their mind be open.

May they be calm and peaceful in the midst of confusion.

Now, think about a person who angers you or a situation that is causing you anxiety stress or frustration. See if you can think about a person associated with that, or some image that represents the situation in your mind. Place a gentle smile on your face and allow the warm feeling in your heart to extend to this situation if you can. If you have difficulty, just notice our half smile and breathe, just noticing any judgments or angry thoughts that arise without pushing them away or responding to them other than with breath. Repeat…

May they learn to look at themselves with the eyes of understanding and love.
May they be able to recognize and touch the seeds of joy and happiness in themselves.

May they learn to identify and see the sources of anger, craving, and delusion in themselves.
May their mind be open.

May they be calm and peaceful in the midst of confusion.

Finally, think about the entire universe. Think about all the inhabitants of the world. Continue to notice your half smile and if you have lost a warm feeling in your heart, breathe in the smile until you can locate it. Now repeat…

May all people learn to look at themselves with the eyes of understanding and love.
May all people be able to recognize and touch the seeds of joy and happiness in themselves.

May all people learn to identify and see the sources of anger, craving, and delusion in themselves.
May all minds be open and spacious.

May all people be calm and peaceful in the midst of confusion, fear, and conflict.

Try to carry this open, caring perspective with you wherever you are today.

Be Well!

Michele

Good Morning. We are exploring the many reasons for practicing loving kindness. Research has found that loving kindness practices increase empathy and compassion for other people and also increase feelings of social connection to others. I think that for many of us, it is easy to feel compassion for others these days whom we perceive to be suffering. Many, many people have shared their suffering in this past year: victims of sexual abuse or harassment coined @me too and posted their personal stories; we have seen people suffer directly and indirectly from the effects of COVID-19; we have seen racism play out on our televisions. We are actually hard-wired to respond to the suffering of others that we see, especially when we see people as blameless for their suffering.

However, empathy and compassion gets much, much harder when we try to have compassion for the individuals that we blame. In Buddhist teaching, those who are unenlightened are perhaps most deserving of compassion because they are most in need of transformation.

I have never liked bullies. Once in second grade, a girl in my class was bullying another girl. I jumped in and verbally eviscerated the bully and then spun her on a merry-go round so fast she couldn’t get off. I was very proud of myself. I felt justified. When I was caught by the teacher and the merry go round stopped, I saw that the girl was sobbing. I kind of felt nothing. My thoughts and judgments about her (she was mean) impaired my ability to feel any kindness or warmth for her. This kept her isolated and disconnected.

(USE CLINICAL JUDGMENT AND OMIT THE FOLLOWING CLIP IF PRESENTING WITH PATIENTS FOR WHOM THIS NEXT PART COULD BE TRIGGERING).

If you have an extra three minutes today, watch this clip by Aaron Stark, the man who wrote an op-ed piece called “I was Almost a School Shooter.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0szyYWi9rBo

Stark describes how an act of compassion by a girl and her family that he didn’t even know well convinced him to abandon his plan for violence and suicide and to choose life instead. Today he is a happily married father and a mental health advocate. Compassion for self and others is essential for change, but judgment often gets in the way.

At the point in loving kindness when you are asked to consider a difficult person, judgment often arises. The Metta practice does not ask you to accept their actions, just to feel compassion for them and to wish them energy to become more open and enlightened. The renowned mindfulness teacher Sharon Salzberg explains it this way. “To send loving-kindness does not mean that we approve or condone all actions, it means that we can see clearly actions that are incorrect or unskillful and still not lose the connection.”

For Today’s Practice, click the following link. Pay particular attention to nonjudgmental compassion when thinking of a difficult person in this practice.

Be Well! 

Michele

Good Morning. A recent research study indicated a very important benefit of loving kindness practice—reducing unconscious or implicit bias towards stigmatized groups. The study examined a group of people. They measured their implicit bias towards Blacks and individuals who were homeless. Half of the participants in the study were assigned six weeks of loving kindness. Individuals in the loving kindness group had reduced unconscious biases towards both traditionally stigmatized groups.

Past posts have discussed the findings that most people exhibit some implicit biases, even when their conscious attitudes are positive about a group. The fact that loving kindness offers a whole host of personal benefits is well established, but the fact that it might benefit social connectedness in the form of reduced bias is so important.

Meditation teachers have long argued that people have innate goodness and that when one connects to breath and adopts a present-focused attention, compassion for other beings is a natural outgrowth of practice.

So today, when practicing, pay particular attention to extending care to others whom you do not know.

It is scary and unpleasant to think that, through no personal fault, each of us might harbor unconscious attitudes or biases that might harm people. The good news is that through conscious cognitive effort and practices such as this we can reduce these biases. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Be Well!

Michele

Good Morning. Today is Monday and that day is always a little daunting for me. There is usually a lot to plan and transitioning from weekend to work week can be jarring. It’s a time when many people are sort of prone to negative experiences like fear or worry. One of the benefits of Loving-Kindness practice is increasing positive emotions.

In 2008,  Barbara Frederickson and her colleagues conducted a study considering one of the most foundational studies on Loving-Kindness. They found that individuals who

practiced seven weeks of Loving-Kindness Meditation their increased positive emotions in their daily life. Specifically, participants reported feeling increases in love, joy, contentment, gratitude, pride, hope, interest, amusement, and awe. They found that those emotions predicted increased sense of meaning or purpose in life, increased perceptions of social support, and decreased symptoms of illness. We could all use an infusion of these positive emotions and the effects of their presence in our lives.

For today’s practice, sit, stretch out your neck and back muscles, breathe in deeply and then click the following link to begin your practice…

Have a great week!

Michele

Good Morning!. As we continue to explore the reasons why loving-kindness practices are beneficial, today we will focus on the physical. Researchers have found that regular loving-kindness practice reduces the stress response. Have you ever read an email and felt yourself tense up? Or gotten bad news and felt yourself completely awash in a negative emotion? These experiences take a physical toll on our bodies. Remember that mindfulness practices such as loving kindness do not disconnect us from experience or from our reactions, but when practiced regularly, loving kindness appears to temper our reactions. So we can both be fully connected with our feelings and not experiencing the wrenching feeling in our gut that comes with pure panic. Panic comes from a feeling that something terrible might happen. Cognitive behavior therapy teaches us to check the thought and realize, even if something not ideal happens, it is probably not catastrophic. Loving kindness practices teach us the same thing, but in a completely different way, by training our body to realize that all is ok. The more one sits with positive and pleasant emotions, the more your body realizes that bad news is temporary.

So, loving kindness affords us access to wisdom and protects us from being physically harmed by our own panic. One last very important piece of evidence about panic and the body relates to the findings of a study that examined cellular inflammation and neuroendocrine functioning in loving kindness practitioners. Our bodies release hormones under extreme stress. These hormones give us quick energy to react so we can run or fight if necessary. Most of us don’t need to run or fight if we get a bad email, or even if we lose a job. We need to use our minds to figure out how to respond to the email or how to get another job or how to make due with less income. The stress reaction in those instances can actually be unhelpful. Worry and fear can become so much of a way of life that we activate all those hormones many times a day for things that are not truly life or death. The consequences for our bodies are huge and have been implicated in a whole host or risks for poor health outcomes. So, today as you practice, you will focus on telling your body physically and with words to be calm and peaceful, not to activate your stress response, and instead to use wisdom to respond to problems instead of reacting with panic.

So make yourself comfortable. Breathe in and out, noticing that in this moment all is well. You are breathing and your breathing brings oxygen to all parts of your body, allowing your cells to communicate and to work together. When you are ready to begin our practice, imagine being outside on a cool but sunny day and see if you can conjure up the feeling of pure sunshine hitting your body and warming you. The feeling should be comfortable. Feeling the warmth and energy of the sun, continue to breathe and think about someone who makes you feel warm, happy or secure…someone for whom you feel a smile arise when you think of them. Now, repeat the following phrases…

• May you be happy and joyful.
• May you be safe and peaceful.
• May you meet life’s challenges with strength and wisdom.

Now, think of a person who is sort of neutral for you. Imagine their face and wish them the warmth of sunshine and extend your warm feelings towards them saying,

• May you be happy and joyful.
• May you be safe and peaceful.
• May you meet life’s challenges with strength and wisdom.

Think about a person who has caused you some stress of anxiety and see if it is possible for you to imagine the sunshine and warm thoughts transforming that person. Say to yourself,

• May you be happy and joyful.
• May you be safe and peaceful.
• May you meet life’s challenges with strength and wisdom.

Now, recall the person who makes you smile. Try to feel a slight smile on your face. If you can, focus on your eyes and what they feel like while you are smiling. Try to feel the warmth of sunshine, breathe in and out, experiencing contentment and joy. Say to yourself,

• May I be happy and joyful.
• May I be safe and peaceful.
• May I meet life’s challenges with strength and wisdom.

Now as you return to face your day, think about the difference in your body when you are breathing in and connecting with positive feelings. Today, when you are faced with any challenge or problem or if you notice panic or fear creeping in or knocking you over, take a breath and try to meet the moment with strength and wisdom. If you practice loving kindness daily, it will be easier to locate this strength and wisdom, often with a single deep breath.

Wishing you peace and ease today!

Michele

Good Morning!. As we continue to explore the reasons why loving-kindness practices are beneficial, today we will focus on emotions. It makes sense that our emotions arise naturally from our interactions in the world. We cannot control them or prevent them from happening. However, we actually create lenses or filters for our experiences without even realizing it. Research has indicated that some individuals scan the environment for negative things. When we are anxious or angry we are much more likely to notice things that perpetuate those feelings. How can loving kindness practice help? We can actually tip the scales towards the emotional reactions we might have.

Sitting in loving kindness actually generates warm, friendly, positive emotions. Even 15 minutes a day of practice has been found to dramatically increase the positive emotions one experiences throughout the days and weeks. As we have discussed before, the impact of having more positive emotions has been well-studied. We see increases in efficiency, productivity, a sense of well-being and overall happiness, increases in optimism and problem solving tenacity, reduced physical pain and increased connections to others.

If I sound like a snake oil salesperson, my apologies. I often cite research so you can trust that these practices work. Mindfulness will not solve all your problems, but I firmly believe it will make it easier for you to solve them and to tolerate unpleasant situations that can’t be solved or can’t be solved right away.

So for today, one thing that I would like to focus on in our practice is the act of actually getting yourself to feel warmth and friendliness in your body. All our LK practices begin by thinking about something or someone that naturally brings a feeling of warmth or joy or love. But Sharon Salzberg teaches that these practices take time. Simply thinking of the person and repeating phrases does not make you feel warmth or joy in your body. This actually takes a bit of work…not hard work—more like gentle patient work. It requires some imagination to conjure up feelings you might have felt in the past and to re-experience them when you think of that pleasant memory.

So today as we begin, sit tall, breathe and really try to physically relax your face and see if you can allow a gentle smile in response to any loving memory or feeling towards a person you have felt close to or to a time in your life that you experienced true contentment. If you can, allow yourself to feel pleasant.

Thinking of a person you care about, repeat…

May you be free from anger, fear and worry

May you be comfortable and free from the need for the approval of others

May you be curious and open

May you be compassionate and kind

May you feel contentment no matter your circumstances

Thinking of a neutral person, repeat…

May you be free from anger, fear and worry

May you be comfortable and free from the need for the approval of others

May you be curious and open

May you be compassionate and kind

May you feel contentment no matter your circumstances

Thinking of a neutral person who is angry or difficult, repeat…

May you be free from anger, fear and worry

May you be comfortable and free from the need for the approval of others

May you be curious and open

May you be compassionate and kind

May you feel contentment no matter your circumstances

Check your smile, your face, and feelings of warmth in your heart. If you are not feeling those things, breathe and recall the start of our practice until you do feel some joy or love. Then, thinking of yourself with love and compassion, repeat…

May I be free from anger, fear and worry

May I be comfortable and free from the need for the approval of others

May I be curious and open

May I be compassionate and kind

May I feel contentment no matter my circumstances

Now before you return to face your day, sit in this warm feeling and notice what it feels like to be open and nonjudgmental. In this moment you likely feel kindness towards yourself and others. Remember what this feels like in your body. Take a deep breath in and out to sit in that awareness. Return to this place with breath throughout the day.

Wishing you an easy day today!

Michele

Good Morning. Today we will focus on loving kindness for its ability to create self-compassion. Have you ever noticed that at times you can be your own worst enemy. When you criticize yourself, doubt yourself, drive yourself too harshly, or are perfectionistic and rigid, you make your reaching your own goals harder. Many loving kindness meditations include the phrase, may I be at ease. What does this mean? It means being comfortable in your own skin–not doubting yourself or second guessing yourself. Being present and connected to your experiences instead of self-conscious or anxious.

Click the following link to practice today. This is a guided practice I enjoy. The teacher is clear and easy to listen to…

https://declutterthemind.com/guided-meditation/loving-kindness/

May you be at ease today!

Michele

Good Morning! As you read this email, take a moment to reflect on your practice the last 2 weeks. Do you notice any effects outside of your practice time?  Sometimes, we can sit, but it doesn’t feel authentic. When this happens, we can become frustrated and give up on practicing. A crucial ingredient for loving kindness to be effective is starting from the place of an authentic, natural pleasant emotion. Sometimes, though, we just aren’t feeling that. One suggestion by teachers is to watch something that shifts you into a pleasant mood before you begin your practice. Watch this 1.5 minute clip of a little girl who is “at ease” and in the present moment. When you are finished, proceed to the practice.

Now, sit tall, breathe and really try to physically relax your face. Close your eyes. Smile gently and feel the smile your eyes, Focus on  any loving memory or feeling that arises. Feel the physical experiences associated with the pleasant thought.

Say to yourself…

May I be safe and free from worry

May I be comfortable and at ease

May my mind be open

May I feel compassion towards myself and others

May I be happy

Thinking of a person you feel great affection for, say…

May you  be safe and free from worry

May you be comfortable and at ease

May your mind be open

May you feel compassion towards yourself  and others

May you be happy

Thinking of a neutral person, say…

May you  be safe and free from worry

May you be comfortable and at ease

May your mind be open

May you feel compassion towards yourself  and others

May you be happy

Thinking of a challenging person, say…

May you  be safe and free from worry

May you be comfortable and at ease

May your mind be open

May you feel compassion towards yourself  and others

May you be happy

Thinking of all people and beings in the universe, say…

May you  be safe and free from worry

May you be comfortable and at ease

May your mind be open

May you feel compassion towards yourself  and others

May you be happy

Now sit in this warm feeling and notice what it feels like to be at ease.  Try to cultivate an easy manner today as you move through your day.

Smile Gently!

Michele

Good Afternoon! Apologies for lateness of today’s email. Had to leave home at 6:30 am for tennis tournament and it totally slipped my mind. For those keeping track, score of the match was 6-0, 6-0! So, perhaps for me…some focused attention mindfulness in order.

Today is National Relaxation Day. It is also day 20 of our Loving Kindness Series AND it’s the weekend. Increased sense of peace is one of the benefits of loving kindness. So today’s practice

As you read this email, take a moment to reflect on your practice the last 2 weeks. Do you notice any effects outside of your practice time?  Sometimes, we can sit, but it doesn’t feel authentic. When this happens, we can become frustrated and give up on practicing. A crucial ingredient for loving kindness to be effective is starting from the place of an authentic, natural pleasant emotion. Sometimes, though, we just aren’t feeling that. One suggestion by teachers is to watch something that shifts you into a pleasant mood before you begin your practice. Watch this 1.5 minute clip of a little girl who is “at ease” and in the present moment. When you are finished, proceed to the practice.

Now, sit tall, breathe and really try to physically relax your face. Close your eyes. Smile gently and feel the smile your eyes, Focus on  any loving memory or feeling that arises. Feel the physical experiences associated with the pleasant thought.

Say to yourself…

May I be safe and free from worry

May I be comfortable and at ease

May my mind be open

May I feel compassion towards myself and others

May I be happy

Thinking of a person you feel great affection for, say…

May you  be safe and free from worry

May you be comfortable and at ease

May your mind be open

May you feel compassion towards yourself  and others

May you be happy

Thinking of a neutral person, say…

May you  be safe and free from worry

May you be comfortable and at ease

May your mind be open

May you feel compassion towards yourself  and others

May you be happy

Thinking of a challenging person, say…

May you  be safe and free from worry

May you be comfortable and at ease

May your mind be open

May you feel compassion towards yourself  and others

May you be happy

Thinking of all people and beings in the universe, say…

May you  be safe and free from worry

May you be comfortable and at ease

May your mind be open

May you feel compassion towards yourself  and others

May you be happy

Now sit in this warm feeling and notice what it feels like to be at ease.  Try to cultivate an easy manner today as you move through your day.

Smile Gently!

Michele

Good Morning! I’m not sure how most of you are feeling about our deep dive into loving kindness practices. Hopefully, you are feeling the positive impact in your life. Beginning tomorrow, I will ask you to choose the specific loving kindness practice that resonated with you the most and to practice that exact practice each day for 7 days. I will send prompts and I will resend the links to the practices we have done, but you may wish to look back over them today if you have time. Then Monday, you will begin intentional, self-disciplined personal practice.

Today’s practice is to sit upright and to use whatever thoughts or images coax you into feeling warmth, and love. Breathe deeply for a few breaths. Allow the feelings to become expansive. Then read the following quote

 If you are motivated by loving kindness and compassion, there are many ways to bring happiness to others right now, starting with kind speech.”

— Thich Nhat Hanh

Today, set an intention to carry your loving kindness practice to others in your speech. Be mindful to extend compassion, love and kindness if a person is present or you are just speaking to someone else about that person. If you become aware of judgment, do your best to breathe and connect with compassion.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Michele

Good Morning. It’s Monday…always more challenging than Sunday. We are beginning a week of self-guided mindfulness practice (or for those of you in groups, you can vote as a group and repeat the same practice for the week). I wanted to take a moment to review.  Loving-kindness is really a mental state of openness, contentedness, and warmth. Some equate it to optimism, but it isn’t a pollyanna-ish optimism that tomorrow will be better than today. Rather, it is a calm optimism that all will be ok because with compassion towards self and others, we can truly weather most anything. Loving kindness is an attitude that is achieved and maintained with practice. It is the act of intentionally generating unconditionally warm, nonjudgmental feelings towards yourself and others. The key to this practice is creating the physical sensation of warm, positive feelings.

Today, the benefit I want to highlight for you is the reduction in fear and anxiety that occurs with regular loving kindness practices. When we sit in warmth and recall love, we realize that we are safe and well. This practice reduces the generalized fear that something bad will happen if we don’t hold the reigns of our experience fiercely.

If you haven’t already, watch this clip by researcher Daniel Goleman on this type of mindfulness practice

Daniel Goleman on the effects of loving kindness.

https://www.mindful.org/loving-kindness-meditation-makes-better-human/

Now, choose the practice you will repeat each day. Think about whether you prefer guided practices where you listen to someone’s voice and maybe watch images, or if you prefer silent practices where you repeat a mantra with breath or with a half-smile, or perhaps you liked chanting or music.

My favorite guided loving kindness:

Groovy music loving kindness:

Chanting loving kindness in English:

Chanting loving kindness in Pali:

Other guided loving kindness practices:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjfCS88Gc7Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5RmaGDpQ6Y

https://insighttimer.com/johannamolloy/guided-meditations/loving-kindness-meditation-111

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s–6wJca6SQ

Basic Silent Mantra:

May I be Safe

May I be Healthy

May I be Happy

May I live with Ease

May you be Safe

May you be Healthy

May you be Happy

May you live with Ease

Adapted Silent Mantra:

May I learn to look at myself with the eyes of understanding and love.
May I be able to recognize and touch the seeds of joy and happiness in myself.
May I learn to identify and see the sources of anger, craving, and delusion in myself.
May my mind be open like a child’s.

May I be calm and peaceful in the midst of confusion.

May you learn to look at myself with the eyes of understanding and love.
May you be able to recognize and touch the seeds of joy and happiness in myself.
May you learn to identify and see the sources of anger, craving, and delusion in myself.
May your mind be open like a child’s.

May you be calm and peaceful in the midst of confusion.

Each day, try to practice your same chosen practice at the same time of day. Remember, that your goal is to actually adopt the mental state of loving kindness as you deal with all of the moments you experience in your day and your week.

I wish you fruitful practice!

Michele

Good Morning. Today you are invited to practice the same Loving Kindness practice that you chose yesterday. This week you will repeat the exact same practice each day. All practices involve some benefits and some challenges. The learning is often in the struggles. Since March, we have been practicing many varieties of mindfulness in the hopes that folks would find some of what they needed, especially in the early days of the COVID-19 crisis, the first of other crises to follow.  This week is meant to hopefully present the same challenges in practice to you each day so that you progress in depth of practice.

As we approach fall, we are facing a “new normal.” We wear masks, limit contact with others, and have somewhat altered patterns of behavior. Information still varies day to day. There are many changes moment to moment. There is still much anxiety, frustration and difficulties. But in some sense, many of us have acclimated to the chaos. We have stopped expecting predictability and are rolling with the punches a bit more. We strive for routine and normalcy in the midst of unpredictability.

So, developing a personal mindfulness practice can add to your sense of stability and routine. Deepening your practice will add to your sense of rootedness and your ability to experience equanimity…exactly what we need to adapt fluidly to whatever comes our way.

Now, using the practice you have chosen to repeat each day, settle yourself and begin…I have included all the links for ease of access to your practice

My favorite guided loving kindness:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlW0VHupTFI

Groovy music loving kindness:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhXaVTeTs84

Chanting loving kindness in English:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCT4xGZR3_o

Chanting loving kindness in Pali:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbyHGnTYCyQ

Other guided loving kindness practices:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjfCS88Gc7Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5RmaGDpQ6Y

https://insighttimer.com/johannamolloy/guided-meditations/loving-kindness-meditation-111

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s–6wJca6SQ

Basic Silent Mantra:

May I be Safe

May I be Healthy

May I be Happy

May I live with Ease

May you be Safe

May you be Healthy

May you be Happy

May you live with Ease

Adapted Silent Mantra:

May I learn to look at myself with the eyes of understanding and love.
May I be able to recognize and touch the seeds of joy and happiness in myself.
May I learn to identify and see the sources of anger, craving, and delusion in myself.
May my mind be open like a child’s.

May I be calm and peaceful in the midst of confusion.

May you learn to look at myself with the eyes of understanding and love.
May you be able to recognize and touch the seeds of joy and happiness in myself.
May you learn to identify and see the sources of anger, craving, and delusion in myself.
May your mind be open like a child’s.

May you be calm and peaceful in the midst of confusion.

Take a moment to reflect on difficulties or stuck places in your practice. Maybe it felt good yesterday, but you did not feel like it today. The goal is to use those experiences to build your capacity to be mindful.  Remember, that your goal is to actually adopt a state of kind attention to everything you encounter…

I wish you growth this week!

Michele

Good Morning. Today we continue to practice the Loving Kindness practice each of you have chosen for the week. 

Are you becoming frustrated with the same practice? Do you find comfort in the routine? Notice these things as they are all part of the practice. 

Stretch and breathe, settle yourself. First be sure that you actually feel warmth and joy spreading before you begin your practice…It’s important to start with whatever image or thought creates positive emotion for you… then begin the practice you have chosen to repeat each day. Again, I have again included all the links for ease of access to your practice

My favorite guided loving kindness:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlW0VHupTFI

Groovy music loving kindness:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhXaVTeTs84

Chanting loving kindness in English:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCT4xGZR3_o

Chanting loving kindness in Pali:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbyHGnTYCyQ

Other guided loving kindness practices:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjfCS88Gc7Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5RmaGDpQ6Y

https://insighttimer.com/johannamolloy/guided-meditations/loving-kindness-meditation-111

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s–6wJca6SQ

Basic Silent Mantra:

May I be Safe

May I be Healthy

May I be Happy

May I live with Ease

May you be Safe

May you be Healthy

May you be Happy

May you live with Ease

Adapted Silent Mantra:

May I learn to look at myself with the eyes of understanding and love.
May I be able to recognize and touch the seeds of joy and happiness in myself.
May I learn to identify and see the sources of anger, craving, and delusion in myself.
May my mind be open like a child’s.

May I be calm and peaceful in the midst of confusion.

May you learn to look at myself with the eyes of understanding and love.
May you be able to recognize and touch the seeds of joy and happiness in myself.
May you learn to identify and see the sources of anger, craving, and delusion in myself.
May your mind be open like a child’s.

May you be calm and peaceful in the midst of confusion.

Carry loving kindness with you today in all that you do!

Be well! 

Michele

Good Morning. You have made it to Friday. A whole work week of practice. Take a moment to reflect. Are you able to notice any impact from your practice? Does beginning your day with a routine of Metta Practice shape your day or your responses to your day? 

Stretch and breathe, settle yourself. Be sure that you actually feel warmth and joy spreading before you begin your practice… start with whatever image or thought creates positive emotion for you… then start your practice. Again, I have again included all the links for ease of access to your practice

My favorite guided loving kindness:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlW0VHupTFI

Groovy music loving kindness:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhXaVTeTs84

Chanting loving kindness in English:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCT4xGZR3_o

Chanting loving kindness in Pali:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbyHGnTYCyQ

Other guided loving kindness practices:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjfCS88Gc7Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5RmaGDpQ6Y

https://insighttimer.com/johannamolloy/guided-meditations/loving-kindness-meditation-111

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s–6wJca6SQ

Basic Silent Mantra:

May I be Safe

May I be Healthy

May I be Happy

May I live with Ease

May you be Safe

May you be Healthy

May you be Happy

May you live with Ease

Adapted Silent Mantra:

May I learn to look at myself with the eyes of understanding and love.
May I be able to recognize and touch the seeds of joy and happiness in myself.
May I learn to identify and see the sources of anger, craving, and delusion in myself.
May my mind be open like a child’s.

May I be calm and peaceful in the midst of confusion.

May you learn to look at myself with the eyes of understanding and love.
May you be able to recognize and touch the seeds of joy and happiness in myself.
May you learn to identify and see the sources of anger, craving, and delusion in myself.
May your mind be open like a child’s.

May you be calm and peaceful in the midst of confusion.

Carry loving kindness with you today in all that you do!

Have a wonderful weekend! 

Michele

Good Morning!

Mindfulness is all about noticing your experience. Because we live our lives in our bodies, our physical sensations are often the starting place for noticing. Breath is often emphasized. Today’s practice is a guided mindfulness practice that directs you to notice and connect breath and body as you stretch different areas of your body.

Before you begin this practice, consider all the self-compassion practices we have done since March. If you recall, we have discussed that self-criticism or judgment is often a major obstacle to mindfulness practice. This is especially true for body practices. We comment on pains complaining about aging (or at least I do). We wish our bodies were different at times. Many people try to force their bodies to conform harshly. The goal today is to connect the work you may have done around mastering distraction or judgments as they arise in your head and to connect this to any judgments, harshness or distraction around your body.

As you click the following stretching practice, stay focused on the body. Have a gentle attitude with yourself and your body.

If you noticed anything about how your body felt that you would like to change or work on, make it your intention to do so gently and with balance.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Michele

Good Morning. Today’s practice is mindfulness to a very relaxing piece of flute music.

By now, most of you are becoming familiar with these practices so feel free to do your favorite–breathing in and out with a longer exhale or half smile or stretching or mindful walking.

To begin, breathe in once deeply, exhale slowly, and click the following link…

Have a nice day!

Michele

Good Morning! Today’s practice is to greet your day thoughtfully. Before you begin anything else you need to do, before you even think about all that you need to do or want to do today, begin your day by connecting to your world in a connected and centered way.

Sit tall, stretch and roll your neck. Breathe in deeply and exhale. Then click this 5 minute timer and just breathe. Notice three chimes to begin. Following the third chime focus all your attention on your body-stretch your posture tall to greet the day. Connect with your experience by just breathing in and out with lengthened exhale. Feel your attention and connection grow deeper and stronger with each breath.

If you find yourself  distracted, try to refocus on the feeling of the inhale of air into your lungs on the next breath.

After the practice is over. Sit for a minute to create recognition of your own calm, centered space. If you get disconnected during the day, refocus with breath to stay connected and focused.

Be well!

Michele

Good Morning. Today’s Mindfulness practice focuses on the inner critic. I have been watching a lot of youth tennis these days and I have observed kids literally screaming out loud to themselves, “Are you stupid?” “You suck.” Obviously it does not help their concentration or their game. We may not all be that intense, but most people have an internal critical voice that accompanies them throughout their day. There is evidence that self-talk –working a problem out in your head or making encouraging statements like you can do this is helpful. But when the internal dialogue is harsh and critical it actually impedes progress and leads to feelings of guilt and shame. It makes us feel less capable and it results in far less enjoyment of life.

It is a truth that no one is perfect, but our internal reactions often demand perfectionism. We seek resolution of problems instantly and when we slip up, we beat ourselves up.

So today’s practice is designed to help you to focus more on the process of realizing your goals than evaluating where you are or how far away you are form reaching them.

To begin, sit and take a few breaths to get centered. Now reflect on something you would like to achieve. It can be a big life goal or it can just be your to—do list for today. Notice any feelings that arise when you think of this objective. Do you get fearful of failure? Or resentful of your own chosen goals? Are you tired before you start? What does your inner critic say? Breathe in and get to know this voice. Recognize it. Just breathe. Realize that your inner critic is perhaps a bit extreme. Continue to breathe and cultivate a sense of humor about your inner critic…try not to take yourself so seriously. When you have a harsh thought, recognize this inner voice and decide that your goal is to finish the race, not to come in first. Strive to be a c-student in this endeavor. Breathe a little more focusing on what a gentle or funny inner dialogue would feel like instead of a demanding and rigid voice? Breathe in and out 12 times with each exhale telling yourself that you are fine, feeling warmth for yourself.

As you move through your day, notice your inner critical voice. Mindful observation loosens up that critic and allows you to have perspective. When you notice the inner critic operating, try to replace the thoughts with an internal comedian instead. Try to see the irony or humor in the situation. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Just breathe and cultivate an easy manner.

Have an average day!!

Michele

Good Morning! Yesterday, two giant trees fell on my house. When something bad happens, gratitude can be helpful. Fortunately, the trees didn’t hurt anyone or come inside the house. I am grateful for that, but I’m not totally there with acceptance. The trees damaged some parts of the roof, the chimney, knocked out air-conditioning, and created a giant costly mess. I just finished getting my fence repaired and painted it…the paint was barely dry and now the fence is smashed. When I saw all this, I got moving-cleaning up and getting people to come in with cranes to get the trees out. You could say I accepted the situation, but that wouldn’t be totally true. Why? Because I’m really only partially accepting it. I got moving because I needed to be able to go in and out of my door. But the truth is I’m sort of whiny and angry and annoyed inside (and my family would tell you outside as well.) I’m moving forward resentfully.

The act of learning to experience things you didn’t expect or want–without judging or rejecting– is a large part of mindfulness. This type of acceptance has been termed Radical Acceptance.  It means accepting a situation and your feelings about it without ignoring them or fighting reality. Saying, “I just paid to repair that fence and I just painted it…” is the opposite of accepting. In essence it’s saying, “That’s not fair.” Radical acceptance means accepting all the feelings that come with a situation without pushing them away or ignoring them. How do we radically accept anything? By sitting and thinking about it in a willing posture, with a gentle smile, while staying connected to your breath.

Today’s practice will help you to accept parts of your experience that you cannot control without being resentful, controlling, angry, or feeling stuck.  Acceptance frees us from unnecessary sadness, frustration, and feelings of helplessness.

After the practice is over. Sit for a minute to create recognition of your own calm, centered space. If you find yourself having difficulty accepting during the day, refocus with breath to stay connected and centered.

Be well!

Michele

Good Morning. This morning, I was reading a dharma talk (a talk or teaching by a Buddhist teacher). The topic of the talk was on fatigue. Crises cause us to experience strong emotions. Fear or anxiety then create stress hormones that give us energy to meet the crisis. Over time, however, that stress results in exhaustion (both physical and mental). When you physically exert yourself through exercise you are tired, but also experience the release of endorphins that provide positive energy and pain relief. When you wear your body down through emotional stress and the repeated release of stress hormones, it is difficult to recoup. The result is fatigue that sleep may not help with. Even when one could sleep, it may be disrupted. Relaxation gets challenging because it’s not clear if one needs to rest (downregulate your body) or upregulate (get up off the couch to generate positive feelings).

The chronicity of COVID and the other crises this year have resulted in many people feeling deep fatigue. Today is the weekend-for many, the weekend offers a time to recooperate. When you deepen your mindfulness practice, you will find that you can choose practices suited to your personal needs, to major events in your life as they arise, and to your personal preferences.

Today, your task is to identify your level of fatigue. Then, to determine if you need to get active or to self-soothe and calm. So begin by observing your current state. What does your body feel like? Your thoughts? If the remedy for any fatigue you may be having is to get active try #1, if you need something more restorative, try #2.

1. Mindfulness for energy:

Take a brisk mindful walk or click the following link for a visualization practice for energy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grRVHgwkyNk

2. Mindfulness for equanimity:

Throughout the day, do your best to pay attention to your energy level, your attention, and your awareness of your emotional state. Try to use your breath to upregulate and energize if you are feeling tired or to relax your body and mind if you are feeling overwhelmed or irritated.

Have a relaxing day!

Michele

Good Morning People!  Have you ever woken up, thought of what you have ahead of you for the day and felt agitated before your day has even started? We carry stress in our bodies. I can feel mine in my neck and in my jaws. Take a minute this morning to check in and see if you can notice any tension in your body. Where do you feel it? Thoughts and emotions you experience automatically in response to everyday experiences create stored tension in your body unless you intentionally attend to your body.

Even if you are not feeling particularly tense, intentionally tensing and relaxing muscles is a great way to practice mindful awareness, and to cultivate a relaxed state.

Today, ready yourself for practice by sitting tall and breathing in a few slow deep breaths. You can either choose to stretch different  parts of your body one by one on your own or click the link for a guided progressive muscle relaxation exercise. After releasing an area, be sure to take a deep breath in and out, relaxing all remaining tension on your exhale.

Be well!

Michele

Good Morning.

Lots of times I feel like I don’t want to practice mindfulness. Today is one of those days. I had to be out of the house before 7. There is too much to get done I thought. But the task is to be present in the business and to show up when you do not feel like it. You might think you are too tired, too rushed, or too unsettled.  It is precisely in these times that we often derive the most benefit from mindfulness.

So, first let’s get rid of the idea that there is no time to practice mindfulness. You do not have to stop your day to practice. If you are very busy, you can take one deep breath in and out and focus…15 seconds.

There-you did it…In this way you can organize the things you do based on what’s most pressing or most important to you and avoid making a mess of your day. If you are completely sure you have no time to practice today, then just take a breath…breathe while you are getting ready, while you are preparing or eating food. Just breathe deeply once at the start of every activity you do during the day and you have practiced. If this is you today, close this email and set this intention and you are done. If you have a few minutes more, keep reading or listening.

Another reason people often do not feel like practicing is when they don’t want to be with themselves. One reason we do not want to connect to the present moment is that we sometimes want to avoid ourselves like we might avoid an annoying person we don’t like at a party. When you are feeling irritable or tired or cranky, you can’t even stand yourself or the prospect of the day ahead of you. In times like this, we often just feel like stewing or just pushing through the day while staying miserable. You might have thoughts like, “it’s too hard, I don’t feel like it” or “I won’t do it right today anyway.”  The solution for times when we feel this way is a little gentle self-compassion.

Today’s practice is a self-compassion practice drawn on loving kindness. First, take a deep breath and imagine a toddler that is cranky and emotional and overtired. You would not be harsh with a child, you would probably hold them, give them a bottle and let them have a rest. This is the attitude you want to cultivate towards yourself right now.

Now, call to mind some aspect of your personality you do not like, or some mistake you made, a failure, that has been bothering you lately. Something that perhaps you’ve been criticizing yourself for or that has made you feel inadequate in some way. Whatever this trait or action is, try to get in touch with your feelings about it. The idea that we are inadequate can cause many feelings: guilt, shame, sadness, fear that we are flawed. How do you feel when you think about your mistake or the trait you seem to have? See if you can locate the sensations of the emotions in your body.
Perhaps it’s a tightness in your throat, a heaviness in your heart, tension in the shoulders. Allow the feeling to be there without pushing it away. Just observe the feelings.

Much suffering is caused by our own self-judgement and our fears of not being good enough. Remember that everyone makes mistakes. We are all human. Rather than be harsh with yourself, try to see if you can tell yourself that life can be challenging, and no one is perfect. Instead of judging yourself, be gentle with yourself. It’s okay.

Now repeat to yourself the following phrases, breathing in and out after each phrase:

May I be safe

May I be peaceful

May I be kind to myself

May I accept myself as I am, even as I strive to grow

May I feel joy and gratitude for the possibilities before me

May the planet and all its inhabitants be safe

May all people be peaceful

May all people be kind

May all people be accepting of themselves, as we strive to grow

May all people feel joy and gratitude for the possibilities before us

Remembering that change is easier with acceptance, breathe in and say

May I be safe

May I be peaceful

May I be kind to myself

May I accept myself as I am, even as I strive to grow

May I feel joy and excitement for the possibilities before me

(inspired by MindfulnessExercise.com)

Be nice to yourself today!

Michele

Good Morning. Today’s practice can be done inside or outside, but if the weather is nice where you are, I encourage doing this practice outside. The concept of breathing and connecting mind and body in the present moment through breathing is central to mindfulness practice

The more you practice this type of breathing: deep inhale—filling your lungs to capacity, paying attention to the shift from inhale to exhale, and extending your exhale slowly—the easier it will be for you to access a clear mind and a state of equanimity.

 Today’s variation involves doing top of breath practice while walking. So for this practice, you simply need to find a place to walk where you have enough distance from others. Take two deep breaths, like we have practiced the last few days, and then begin walking. You can find a rhythm of steps and breaths that feels correct to you. When you walk, it is helpful to think about your feet kissing the earth gently. Again, your speed is not important, but the care you take in placing your feet gently to connect to the ground is a point of focus. As you do this gentle walking, try not to lose awareness of your breath. If you find yourself confused or distracted, you can stop, take two breaths and begin again. Set a timer or have someone alert you after 5 minutes. When you stop walking take two more deep breaths in and out, noting the shift from inhale to exhale, while standing still to conclude your exercise.

Later today and throughout the weekend, make your breath a focus of your day. Try to find some time when your day is busy, stop and take just one deep breath in and out–noting the top of the breath. See if you are able to feel your feet connected to the ground when you take this breath. Try to do this several times throughout your day, especially in the midst of busy activity.

Enjoy the weekend!

Michele

Good Morning. I was reading an article written by Norman Fischer, Zen teacher and poet, who wrote, “Zen has probably saved me from myself; poetry has probably saved me from Zen.” Fischer describes our tendency to get “frozen” in all things including mindfulness practice. By this, Fischer means that we get locked into patterns and ways of thinking about ourselves and others and we can try so hard we are ineffective. We can work so hard at relaxing that we are tense. This is often true for people trying to fall asleep when they are tired and really want to sleep, but can’t shut off their minds.

We often impose on ourselves a rigidity that tells us we must “get it right.” We often live under the illusion that there is only one way to act or to be effective or authentic.  When we are not successful, instead of getting more creative, we often increase control. For an athlete who is stuck, often the solution is not repeating  the same incorrect move—the solution may be a day doing a different sport or a day off altogether. The tighter we try to control, or to force ourselves and others into submission, the more we suffer. Much of mindfulness is about disciplining the mind to focus, but the key is to do so without harshness or we will become, as Fischer said, “frozen.” We become counterproductive. Fischer says the way out of stuckness is with art and imagination.

When I was young, I despised art class. I didn’t even like looking at art because I didn’t get it. I constantly asked myself what the Right answer was. I didn’t focus on my experience of a picture, I wanted to know what others said it was about. Truly experiencing art or music requires throwing yourself into participation with the piece—without judgment. It gets us unstuck. There is no right or wrong way to experience art, so it allows us (if we let it) to be freed from rigidity.

For today’s practice, take a few breaths in and out, and close your eyes if you like, Click the following link and listen…do nothing else but listen and breathe:

Now, you have rebooted. Enjoy the weekend!

Michele

Today I am feeling excited by the prospect of a long weekend and my head is spinning with all the things I want to get done. I want to spend some quality virtual time with a friend. I want to get laundry done. I have writing to do and cleaning to do. I want to lie in the sunshine. It’s easy to get a little overwhelmed or to just do the first thing you bump into (laundry on the way down the stairs) instead of choosing the things that are most crucial or the most important to you.

Mindfulness to one thing is really useful at these times. This is the  idea of connecting to your experience by focusing on just one activity in the moment.  You can really do this practice with any activity. Today, I will focus on a cup of coffee.

For today’s practice either mindfully make or get a cup of coffee and fix it how you like it. Now sit and take in the smell of the coffee, hold the cup in your hand and feel the warmth. As you drink your coffee, demand nothing else of yourself. Just drink the coffee. Do not think of what you will do next or what you should be doing—just enjoy the quiet and your coffee.

When you are finished, think about what you want to do with your day and do it…

Have a day full of the things that are most important to you!

Michele

Good Morning. Today’s practice is about gratitude. We are most aware of being grateful when someone provides something we are really desperate for. One day, while I was in high school, I got a flat tire. No cell phones back then, so there I was on the side of a rural road.  As I sat there trying to figure out what to do, my high school’s cross country team came running by. They stopped and changed it for me. I was beyond grateful. Research has shown that gratitude makes us happier. It changes our brain and generates positive feelings and decreases worry.

The thing is though that often we are not in a desperate situation and we forget to pay attention to things, and we forget to be grateful for things we appreciate—not because there are not things to be grateful for, but because we aren’t attuned to them. Gratitude is a habit that needs to be cultivated. Using mindfulness to observe and describe things you see or experience and then noting those you are most grateful for is a life habit that makes for a better life. Try it today.

Today’s Mindfulness:

Our practice today has no chimes and no relaxing music or sounds. It is a quiet practice. You can sit or recline. Begin with a deep breath. Repeat in your mind the following phrase:

My heart is beating.

My body is breathing.

I am here.

I accept today as a gift.

Inhale deeply, noticing the moment your lungs are full, and then exhale. On your next inhale consider the oxygen being brought into your body and to each of your organs to keep you alive. See if you can connect to this oxygen as you breathe in and out. Consider the chair or the floor where you sit. It is solid and supports you. Feel that in the present moment, oxygen and a place to sit are all that you need. Continue to breathe in and out.

Now, take a moment to reflect on any of the things in your life that you are thankful for. Think about basic things like food, a place to rest in the evening, your physical capabilities, your mind, your capacity to care for others, your ability to make choices and change if you wish to. Think about people in your life you are thankful for (whether you know them or you do not—I’m thankful for Dr. Faucci). If you like,  you can make a list of blessings. For each blessing you think of, say to yourself, “I am grateful for…” and take a breath in and out before moving to something else. If you get distracted or judgmental, just take a new breath, and gently prod yourself to find something you actually appreciate. Do this reset as many times as you need to.

When your practice is concluded, process it for a moment. How did it make you feel? What did you notice? The idea of practices like this is not only the brief warm feelings that they generate, rather it is to develop in yourself a moment to moment noticing of things you are grateful for. This creates a balance to many negative things in the world we are primed to notice.

So, today, I am grateful for the sunshine and the beautiful weather. I am grateful for friends and family. I am grateful for the extra weekend day!

Be Well!

Michele 

Good Morning. The topic of today’s mindfulness blast is being effective. The word agency refers to the degree to which an individual believes that they have the ability to freely make choices and to engage in actions in their life consistent with their choices. When we have a felt sense that we can choose how we act and that our actions matter then anything is possible. But, many things interfere with our experience that we can make changes in our lives or in the lives of others– systematic oppression, trauma or abuse, or even being overprotected can all diminish a person’s sense that they can effect change in their own life. Half of the challenge involved in changing anything is believing you have the capability to change your situation. The other half is having the tenacity and discipline to stay the course as you make smaller steps, pick yourself up after mistakes, and keep moving in the direction you want to move.

The practice of mindfulness increases effectiveness by increasing one’s focus and one’s capabilities. If you can manage your thoughts and emotions without getting swept away by them, your sense of control is enhanced. If you can stay on track, warding off distraction, you can accomplish things great and small.  If you have ever decided you wanted to get something done and then blown it off, you know the defeated feeling you get. It can create a cycle of helplessness and even depression. Mindfulness helps to overcome this stuck feeling.

So paying attention to the moment, and bringing yourself back when your mind veers off increases your capability to achieve long term goals. Paying more careful attention to your experience helps you to identify your own personal preferences so you can choose goals aligned with your authentic values.

Today’s practice designed to increase effectiveness will not be a guided practice. It is a quiet one. To begin, get a piece of paper or simply list in your mind all the things you need or wish to accomplish today. If you are anything like me, that act generates a little anxiety. Breathe deeply from a standing position.

Instruction: Listen to each of the three bells that starts the practice. The practice will also end with three consecutive bells Throughout this 10 minute practice, you will hear bells with periods of silence in between. The task is to walk or sit while breathing focusing just on the sounds of the bells, your breath and your body. If you get distracted or start thinking of what you need to do today, breathe and try to refocus your attention on a breath, on our body and on the changing sound of the bells.

Now, click the following mindfulness timer to begin your practice…

continue until you can no longer hear the third bell that ends the practice.

When you are finished, reflect on the fact that no matter how many times you had to refocus, you stayed with the task. If you quit before your time, figure out what prompted the urge to quit and work on that. To extend this practice, you can sit and take a few breaths whenever you have a quiet moment. Reflect on what goal or goals are most important to you. What is needed to get to those goals. You can use your mindfulness practice to set meaningful personal goals. You can also mindfully engage in smaller tasks that give you a sense of control and capability so you have the energy and belief in yourself to achieve longer term goals.

I wish you a productive day!

Michele

Good morning! Mindfulness seeks to have us pay attention to all of our experience—body and mind. Yoga is a wonderful mindfulness practice because it involves breathing and attending to specific parts of your body. You do not have to be a yoga expert to do this beginners stretch. Chakravakasana, also known as the cat -cow stretch, is a simple way to stretch your spine and to connect your breath and body.

Begin on all fours with your hands under shoulders and knees under your hips. Take a deep breath in and as you are inhaling, drop your head down, and tuck in your stomach muscles as you round your spine, pulling it to the your back to the ceiling.

This is the cat pose.  Hold for 10 seconds in the cat pose.

Then exhale slowly. As you exhale, pick up your head and arch your back, pulling butt and shoulders up in cow pose (see picture).

Hold cow pose for 10 seconds.

Round again on your next inhale as you go back to cat and hold for 10 seconds. On your exhale, return to cow with back arched and head, shoulders and butt going upwards. Vinyasana means linking your breath with your movement. Try to make these breaths and body transitions smooth and connected without any bouncing or jerking. You can gently shift from cat to cow for 5 minutes. When you are finished, you may choose to stand or lay flat on your back and stretch arms over your head as tall as you can stretching fingertips to toes.

Take a last breath in and out to finish your practice. Remind yourself to breathe deeply throughout your day, connecting to your body and anchoring you in a moment.

Have a peaceful day!

Michele

Hello. Sometimes we might find ourselves stuck in negative thinking patterns. Often, these thoughts are negative or include judgments. We may see activities, people, and things as if we already know everything we need to know about them. When this happens we either disconnect and distance or we relate to the person or task with resentment.

In reality, each new moment with a task, even if you have done it hundreds of times before, is unique and presents an opportunity for growth. If we practice seeing each moment as new and unique, our responses can be meaningful, engaged, and creative.

In mindfulness, we can practice this awakened mindset through any activity. A deep mindfulness practice requires Beginner’s Mind. Beginner’s Mind, also known as Shoshin, is seeing the world with fresh eyes, with a sense of curiosity, letting go of preconceived ideas, open to possibilities. Even if you have done an activity many times before, experience it like it is the first time. This makes you engage with your senses and with details you may not have noticed before. It also takes away boredom and allows for deeper engagement, even with tasks you might not relish.

Practice:

So, for today’s practice, when you are ready, take a deep breath and advance through ads. Click on the following link. The task is to fully engage with the images and music using your senses. It is new for you, and the images and sounds change, so it is a nice way to practice Shoshin. If you find yourself bored, go back to your senses with attention. What do you see or hear?

When the music stops, turn off youtube and breathe deeply twice. Reflect on what it felt like to be fully engaged and open to what came next.

Now, for the rest of your day, pick a few things you find boring or routine or a patterned response in a relationship. Try to engage with Shoshin…see the task or person with all your senses and without preconception. Eat meals mindfully, walk mindfully, speak to others and observe them mindfully as if it is the first time you have encountered them. Practice Beginner’s Mind in all you do today.

Thank you for practicing with me…

Michele

Sitting in loving kindness is a great way to begin your day. Recent research has indicated that Metta, or Loving-Kindness meditations are among the most potent change-making practices. This type of practice has been shown to create immediate changes to mood.  Loving kindness increases one’s personal sense of safety, security, and well-being. Who couldn’t benefit from that? These practices also reduce conflict and help us to be compassionate to ourselves and others.

For this morning, a groovy loving kindness…

May you be happy!

Michele

There is a difference between noticing something and being mindful. Being mindful involves noticing as something happens (not making sense of your experience afterwards) and it involves noticing without judgment. It’s often the noticing without judgment part that is the most challenging.

I woke up today and opened the door to find a bright sunny day. The air was cold and I had the observation that summer has passed and fall is beginning.  I would be lying if I told you that I don’t prefer a warm sunny, summer morning to a cool fall morning. But, it’s also true that this morning, there was no judgment about fall. In fact, I was excited for fall AND sad to see summer go. This is what mindfulness can do. It allows us to quickly notice a preference, without getting stuck in resentment of judgment. When this happens, it makes way for new positive experiences and feelings.

If you are hungry and you have not gone shopping, you might decide to have cereal for dinner. If you berate yourself for not shopping, or tell yourself cereal isn’t a decent meal, you will eat your meal resentfully and probably be unsatisfied. On the other hand, if you are gentle with yourself and think, “fortunately there is milk and cereal,” the chances are that you will enjoy a damn good bowl of cereal. You will be full, have eaten something with good nutrition, and you will be satisfied. It doesn’t mean you wouldn’t have preferred roasted chicken and potatoes. It just means you didn’t let your preference for chicken interfere with the meal available to you.

Today’s practice is to take in something without judgment…

See if you can find something that you would prefer to be different (e.g., social isolation, school, things you need to do this week). When you have identified your preference, just note it.

Now, click this link for a series of quiet bells…

When each bell rings, think about what is available to you. Is there any silver lining to any of the things you do not prefer? Each time you hear a bell ring, take a deep breath and stay focused on your acceptance practice. Acceptance does not mean you need to like everything. But, acceptance requires that you don’t spend all your time saying to yourself or telling your friends how much you don’t like reality or some specific part of it. Embrace change, embrace the present…challenging as it may be.

May you be peaceful! 

Michele

Good Morning. Today’s practice is often considered a winding down practice. You can do it before sleep. Savasana (pronounced sha-va-sunah), is a yoga practice that ends many yoga classes. Savasana is also called corpse pose. It is a deep relaxing, restorative pose.

Most of you will be beginning your day with today’s practice. It’s also great for stress and to increase calm when feeling overwhelmed.

SO to begin today’s practice lie on your back with feet slightly open and palms relaxed and facing upwards. Take a deep breath in and out. Alternate between pointing toes down to the floor and then on an inhale pull them back towards you to stretch and activate your muscles. If you like, you can stretch your arms overhead and relax. When you return to the beginning position—relaxed with feet apart, hands facing upwards, click this link to practice this brief guided Savasana.

6-minute guided Savasana

20-minute guided Savasana

Relaxing your body can help to relax the mind and to create a state of equanimity in busy or chaotic times.

Wishing you all peace and calm!

Michele

Good Morning. I’m not sure about you, but this morning I’m feeling a little stressed and a little tired from all that I have to do today before I have done it.  Whenever you want to avoid the day or have negative thoughts about it before it has begun, that’s your cue to breathe and get mindful.

When you practice mindfulness, even briefly, it is like a reboot for your brain. Mindfulness lets you move through emotions and let go of thoughts, seeing them as momentary experiences instead of being consumed by them. In keeping with this week’s theme of quick mindfulness practices, I will share a favorite practice of mine that is super short, but very effective. Today’s practice is ideal to use when you are feeling stressed or tense, or when you are tired and need a moment of self-soothing so you can refresh and recharge.

Practice: Sit and stretch your spine upwards so you are straight. This is a closed eyes practice. Take one deep breath in, hold at the top for one second, and then slowly release through your nose. Now, take your hands and place them over your eyes with fingers on your eyes and palms resting on your cheeks. Feel the warmth of your hands.  Take a deep breath in and out. Slide your hands towards your ears so that your fingers are at your temples. Now as you continue to breathe, make small circles using as much pressure as feels comfortable, massaging your temples. Do this for a full breath in and a slow release through your nose. Now, shift your fingers down to where your jawbones connect—on the space you can feel moving if you open your jaw. Repeat a deep breath and massage here, feeling the thickness of your jaw muscle. Next, open your mouth and move your hands lower in the direction of your chin, to the spot where you can feel that the muscle in your jaw ends (below the muscle). Breathe deeply while massaging this spot upwards with your fingers. Finally, place your hands in your lap, one cupped inside the other and take a deep breath in and out.

When we are feeling tense or wanting to avoid an activity or to avoid a whole day, this practice which literally takes less than 3 minutes can help you to feel ready to fully participate with anticipation. We talk about the child’s mind, a state of curiosity and anticipation about what’s coming next. Hoping this practice helped you to get back to that state. Chances are you will be more creative, and you might even enjoy your day more in beginner’s mind.

Have a nice day!

Michele

Good Morning. Today’s practice is about gratitude. Research has shown that intentionally practicing gratitude makes us happier. It changes our brain and gets rid of a negative cognitive set…in other words, it frees us from scanning the world for bad things.

For today’s practice it does not matter if you think about one thing or many, or if you think about little things like a flower outside your window or a big thing like an important relationship.

Today’s Mindfulness:

Our practice today has no chimes and no relaxing music or sounds. It is a quiet practice. You can sit or recline. Begin with a deep breath.

Sit and inhale deeply, noticing the moment your lungs are full, and then exhale. On your next inhale consider the oxygen being brought into your body and to each of your organs to keep you alive. See if you can connect to this oxygen as you breathe in and out. Consider the chair or the floor where you sit. It is solid and supports you. Feel that in the present moment, oxygen and a place to sit are all that you need. Continue to breathe in and out.

Now, take a moment to reflect on any of the things in your life that you are thankful for. Think about basic things like food, a place to be dry on a rainy day, a place to rest in the evening, your physical capabilities, your mind, your capacity to care for others, your ability to make choices and change if you wish to. Think about people in your life you are thankful for (whether you know them or you do not). If you like you can make a list of blessings. For each think you think of say to yourself, I am grateful for…and take a breath in and out before moving to something else. If you get distracted or judgmental, just take a new breath, and gently prod yourself to find something you actually appreciate. Do this reset as many times as you need to.

When your practice is concluded, process it for a moment. How did it make you feel? What did you notice?

The idea of practices like this is not only the brief warm feelings that they generate, rather it is to develop in yourself a moment to moment noticing of things you are grateful for. This creates a balance to many negative things in the world we are primed to notice.

Be Happy!

Michele

Good Morning. There is a whole industry designed to organizing, simplifying, and creating a picture perfect life. Marie Kondo says to only keep items that spark joy. My stapler doesn’t do that, but I keep it anyway…

So, as with anything, balance is the goal. If we get to [perfectionistic, we are more concerned with fixing our space than living in it. At the same time, chaos (where are the keys or the glasses) is far from mindful and creates unnecessary stress.

Today’s Mindfulness:

For today’s practice, you will choose one thing to clean (e.g., sweep the floor) or to organize (e.g., one drawer). Begin with a deep breath. Inhale deeply, noticing the moment your lungs are full, and then exhale.

Now, clean or organize with 100% focus. If judgment arises at how dirty your floor is, notice it, and put your attention back to the actual act of sweeping. Notice the freedom from the chatter in your mind when all your effort is on the action and the senses associated with it. When your task is complete, you might be tempted to clean something else. Do not. The goal for this practice is not to do a whole clean-up. The goal is to practice controlling your attention.

The weekend is almost here!

Michele

The last half-year has been stunning in terms of the number of losses people have faced individually and we have faced collectively as a country. It seems that every morning there are new shocks and new losses. Mass shootings in our country remain the highest in ANY developed country in the world. Despite our best scientific minds, we have not yet solved the problem of COVID-19 and we have done poorer in managing it than most any other developed country. The school year has begun for most children in the most unorthodox of ways and despite the best efforts of teachers, frustration and anxiety has marked the opening of the school year for just about everyone. Top that off with one more monumental loss. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has lost her battle with cancer.

I know this opening is dark and morose. It has been a period of trauma and devastating loss for our country. We can’t change that, but we can change our approach to these experiences. When we allow feelings and reactions to exist without judging them or fearing them, they make room for new feelings. I’m profoundly sad for the loss of Justice Ginsberg. I’m also anxious about the conflict and fighting that is sure to ensue related to her seat on the Court. No matter what your political beliefs, our country has lost an amazing feminist icon. RBG, as she became known to younger generations, defied the saying, “Women can have it all but not all at the same time.” She had children, cared for her sick husband, held up his law practice, and graduated at the top of her law school class. She argued some of the most important legal cases that paved the way for women of my generation and beyond to demand equal treatment and to participate fully in work and family life as they choose. Sadness is important because it makes way for other experiences like admiration. RBG was determined and she was a fighter. She achieved all that she did by quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) doing what was necessary to keep all the priorities in her life moving. That’s what mindfulness is all about—keeping your eye on the ball. When I read her book, “In my Own Words,” I was surprised how clearly she described being in touch with her emotions. I marveled at how she could experience the discrimination she did without being so angry that she became ineffective or felt hopeless. She was clearly a master of being in the present moment. In her book, she described knowing she had hours of work to do for law school, knowing she had to prepare food for her ill husband, and playing with her child and fully enjoying the time with her child before taking all that on for the night. She said, that was her daughter’s time and her time–and it was wonderful.  So, as I said, I am feeling sad and anxious for this loss—an also inspired by her legacy.

I thought that for today’s practice, we would do a loving kindness practice for loss. This should allow acceptance of sadness and also make room for and help to generate feelings of well-being.

So, today’s practice will be a simple loving kindness practice, play the music clip below for background as you do the practice, breathe deeply and then read the following statements. (If reading for a group, read each line and let the group repeat…)

Breathe in slowly and exhale three times, then begin saying in your mind the following words:

May I be happy, health and peaceful

My I let go of sadness and bad feelings

May I be free from anger

May I be free from pain

May I be free from suffering

May I be happy, healthy and peaceful

May I be filled with loving kindness

May I be at peace

Now, think of someone you feel good feelings for. Notice the feeling it generates in your heart to think of them. Continue to breathe slowly in and out for three breaths. and then say…

I spread this loving kindness out

I send love to those I know

May they be happy, health and peaceful

My they let go of sadness and bad feelings

May they be free from anger

May they be free from pain

May they be free from suffering

May they be happy, healthy and peaceful

May they be filled with loving kindness

May they be at peace

Continue to breathe in and out slowly for three breaths, and say…

I spread this loving kindness out

I send love to anyone who is sad or suffering

May they be happy, health and peaceful

My they let go of sadness and bad feelings

May they be free from anger

May they be free from pain

May they be free from suffering

May they be happy, healthy and peaceful

May they be filled with loving kindness

May they be at peace

Take one last breath. End the music.

May you experience peace throughout the day, no matter what the day brings.

Michele

Good Morning. Today’s practice is mindfulness to a very relaxing piece of flute music.

By now, most of you are becoming familiar with these practices so feel free to do your favorite–breathing in and out with a longer exhale or half smile or stretching or mindful walking.

To begin, breathe in once deeply, exhale slowly, and click the following link…

Have a nice day!

Michele

Today’s mindfulness practice is not only about being connected to the present moment. It is about what prevents us from getting and staying connected.. Shauna Shapiro, a mindfulness researcher and mindfulness teacher, has emphasized in her definition of mindfulness the concept of “kind attention.”

Kind attention is a gentleness with one’s self and others. The Dalai Lama speaks about cultivating warm affection for one’s self and others. You can think of it as an easy stance…not easy to achieve…more a stance of being at ease. It means not fighting to prove you are superior, right, worthy, or good. It means accepting yourself where you are. It also means not examining the world for faults and deficits…instead looking to describe what you see in detail without judgment. It does not mean you refrain from assessing what needs to change, you can make judgments (or determinations) without being judgmental. Judgmental includes an element of derision or disgust that making a determination does not include. It means moving through the world with a sense of ease, knowing the world and people in in are profoundly flawed, but in a constant dynamic process of change. People are flawed and where they need to be in order to move ahead. If you develop this stance, you can see each moment of conflict as one of opportunity. But opportunities are not present where derision and judgment exist. Warmth and kind attention are the soil for development of one’s self as well as change in others.

Today’s mindfulness practice is designed to assist in cultivating an attitude of kind attention.

Please take a few minutes to watch or rewatch this TED Talk by Dr. Shauna Shapiro

Then, consider if your judgments are a valiant effort to make yourself ok or worthy. Know that you are exactly where you need to be. Just breathe, assess what you wish for the day and then adopt kind attention to yourself and others.

Peace-

Michele

I decided to write a mindfulness today for when you are scattered and feeling overwhelmed with competing priorities. It does not matter if you have a lot of available time or your schedule is jam packed, either way you can become overwhelmed, indecisive, sluggish or even impulsive if you are feeling pressured for whatever reasons. Having either too little planned for a day or too much can have equally problematic consequences. When we get overwhelmed we go on auto pilot and when we are on autopilot we are most likely to slide into ineffective patterns (overeating, smoking, simply not thinking clearly and making errors).

The solution is to stop and do one thing in the moment, focusing on that activity while breathing…this gives your brain time to catch up and your body time to calm down. If possible, so whatever you are doing at half speed for a few moments to slow everything down.

To be clear, being mindful does not require any more time than “normal activities.” But, slowing down your speed for a moment or two might help you to notice your experience. When she was in college, my sister took a class on the Alexander Technique. One of her tests in the class was simply to stand up and sitting down slowly, conscious of her posture and her form. So, slowing things down, even mundane, everyday activities, can help us to notice and connect with our experience.

So for practice today, do the next few activities you were planning on doing already or choose any activity to do (walk, make food, drink coffee), but do it at half speed. Notice the experience, make any corrections necessary to be effective. Remember any time you are overwhelmed, to slow down for one second and breathe in order to be more effective

Have a Good Day…

Michele

Good Morning. I was thinking about how amazing it is that the people I work with have been able to continue to deliver services to people throughout lockdowns and quarantines. Sometimes with the use of Zoom or other virtual platforms and sometimes with fairly elaborate PPE and sanitizing procedures. Then I thought about school and how teachers have had to pivot to online or blended models. Then I thought, “how exhausting!” We are getting things done, but often with more effort and the result is everyone is tired-physically and emotionally. It can be difficult under the current circumstances to begin the day with an optimistic stance.

We need to work just a little bit harder to stay even keeled. We might find ourselves a little sluggish or down. Today’s practice is designed to refuel you and to create positive energy.

We have practiced many variations of breathing, combining different sensations with awareness of top of the breath. Today’s practice is Breath to Create Positive Energy.  This can be done seated or laying down on a bed or on a mat on the floor. Settle in and set a timer for three minutes.

Begin by taking a deep breath in through your nose until you feel your lungs filled to capacity. Notice the “top of the breath.” When there is no more room in your lungs and you notice the breath transition from in-breath to out-breath, slowly force all of the air out of your lungs. Remember to allow your exhale to be a little longer than your inhale. Whenever you feel ready to add the next layer, on your next inhale imagine focusing on any worry thoughts, stress, pain, or irritability. Imagine your breath transforming this nervous energy into bright, light-filled optimistic energy. Imagine the oxygen giving you nourishment and energy. On your exhale, focus on breathing out transformed energy. Imagine your exhale releasing positive energy, warmth, and good will out into the world. If you are bothered by a recurrent negative thought or emotion, just notice it, but on your exhale say to yourself “all is ok.” Imagine spreading positive energy to those you know and care about, as well as anyone you come into contact with. With every exhale, wish yourself and others wellness and positive feelings. Feel increased levels of energy and grow them with each breath.

When done, reflect on your energy level and feelings about beginning the day. Have they changed?

This is a type of loving kindness practice that uses breath rather than words to activate positive feelings and energy. Later today, if you would like to lift your energy or your mood, return to 2 or three deep breaths and focus on the thought that all is ok on your exhale.

Wishing you positive energy today.

Michele

Good Morning!

Weekends are times when it can be helpful to make a conscious choice to relax and recharge. It might be tempting to tackle household or organizing chores. It’s great to do all this as long as it feels like a choice instead of an obligation. If those are pure “have to get them done tasks” then this mindfulness instructs some down time to recharge before diving into obligations. If cleaning is relaxing for your mind, go for it. But, if you feel tired or mentally fried, recharge before you dive in to your to-do list.

Today’s mindfulness is a practice to self-soothe and recharge yourself. This comes from the app Calm which offers many great practices. Get comfortable and listen carefully to the instruction and the sounds of this practice.

For the rest of the day, try to mix in activities that are different from the week: take some time to focus on a call, write a note to someone, take an afternoon nap, read something for fun or play a game. Whatever you do, make sure there are some things you WANT to do built into the fabric of your weekend. Choose things that are pleasant, relaxing, or fun, and fully engage with it.

Enjoy the weekend!

Michele

Good Morning. I have a love-hate relationship with cleaning. I actually like cleaning and scrubbing, but I hate it when the tasks pile up that the enjoyment goes out of it. That’s a problem for another day though…

Cleaning is a perfect task for mindfulness practice because people have strong feelings about it. It is a great measure of both willfulness and attachment. SO doing a cleaning task (as opposed to doing all your cleaning often involves some complex emotions. Some want to keep going and resent other obligations, some feel annoyed they need to clean up at all. If I am honest, I often experience willfulness in the passive, helpless way at the sheer volume of smelly teenage-boy laundry. 

Today’s Mindfulness: 

For today’s practice, you will choose one thing to clean (e.g., sweep the floor) or to organize (e.g., one drawer). Choose an amount of time you will clean for and do not finish before your timer or go beyond your timer. Begin with a deep breath. Inhale deeply, noticing the moment your lungs are full, and then exhale.  

Now, clean or organize with 100% focus. If judgment arises at how dirty your floor is, notice it, and put your attention back to the actual act of sweeping. Notice the freedom from the chatter in your mind when all your effort is on the action and the senses associated with it. When your timer rings, you might be tempted to keep going. Do not. The goal for this practice is not to do a whole clean-up. The goal is to practice controlling your attention and attachment.  If you must clean more today, put a big space between the end of this practice and any more tasks.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Michele

Good Morning! Today’s practice is about learning to accept. We have discussed this before, but I find this is a lesson most of us need over and over again. Zen teaches us that attachment to things, to ideas, to the need for things to be a certain way-cause us to suffer. We have practiced the idea of radical acceptance. I want to clarify that rather than accepting the thing you do not like, the act of radical acceptance is largely about accepting your feelings about the thing, without pushing them away, judging them, or saying you shouldn’t have to feel them because the thing you are upset about shouldn’t have happened. How, you say, is this helpful? Well, it is our refusal to accept a feeling that keeps us trapped by it, stuck, bogged down in negative emotions. I will grant you it is no fun to feel painful emotions, but walking through them makes room for other more positive things.

The act of learning to experience things you didn’t expect or want—and the feelings that are associated with those things is a large part of mindfulness practice. Today’s practice will help you to accept parts of your experience that you cannot control without being resentful, controlling, angry, or feeling stuck.  Acceptance frees us from unnecessary sadness, frustration, and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.

After the practice is over. Sit for a minute to create recognition of your own calm, centered space. If you find yourself having difficulty accepting during the day, refocus with breath to stay connected and centered.

Be well!

Michele

Good morning. The great mindfulness teacher, Jon Kabat Zinn described mindfulness as, “a way of befriending ourselves and our experience.” I think this is a nice way to think about the practices we have been doing. Sometimes we can find a way to try to control ourselves, even when we choose the activity. We need things to be how we imagined them or how we think they should be. That’s attachment and it causes us a world of trouble. The image that comes to mind is of one of my family road trips years ago where everyone was cranky and my response was, “we are going on a family vacation and we are going to have fun and like it, damn it…”

Not mindful. Definitely not befriending the experience.

So what’s the opposite? It is going with the flow. If you dislike something, you can commiserate with yourself. Wish it wasn’t happening. But, what flat out doesn’t work is refusing to accept a situation and more importantly how we feel about it. Then we get mired in anger, resentment, blame, and hopelessness. So, today’s practice will be to befriend yourself and your personal experiences.

Think about something you are a bit frustrated about. Imagine what a good friend would say. They would intuit what you are feeling and tell you those feelings made sense. They might say, “how frustrating!” Can you do that for yourself? Or, do you just stew? Or, blame someone else? Sometimes we think we are accepting something, but we are really going through the motions but remaining sullen and angry. That’s not acceptance and it’s not being mindful.

So right now, sit tall, breathe in deeply, and notice something that frustrates you or that you wish were not true. Really accepting something does not mean you are ok with it or that you wouldn’t prefer it another way. It just means that you note your unpleasant feelings and accept them. Then you might find room for other experiences you are missing if you remain sullen and fixated on the thing that frustrated you. If you can, just decide to sit and befriend yourself and your feelings for 3-5 minutes. Breathing is essential because you need your body (where your emotions are expressed) to be connected to your thoughts and breath is an easy way to do that.

After you are finished, make it your intention to approach every annoying and frustrating thing today gently with compassion like a friend of yours might do.  Try to avoid blaming yourself and others and instead sit with disappointment, frustration, anger for just a moment and breathe, You might find that you move on more quickly than usual. Try it…

Wishing each of you a day with just enough frustration necessary to stretch and grow!

Michele

Good Morning. Today’s practice is mindfulness to a very relaxing piece of flute music.

By now, most of you are becoming familiar with these practices so feel free to do your favorite–breathing in and out with a longer exhale or half smile or stretching or mindful walking.

To begin, breathe in once deeply, exhale slowly, and click the following link…

Have a nice day!

Michele

Today my mind is spinning. Today’s news includes the fact that our President has tested positive and is showing symptoms of COVID-19. It’s the last day of the week for my little homeschool, so trying to get them to see Friday is still a school day. Tree removal is still ongoing, so the sound of saws is ever present while I try to have meetings. My cat has suddenly decided to refuse her life-sustaining medications, and after 15 years as an indoor city cat, she apparently wants to be an outdoor cat.  It’s a little too much. I’m trying where to begin…

Mindfulness to one thing is really useful at these times. This is the  idea of connecting to your experience by focusing on just one activity in the moment slows time for a second and helps to clarify priorities. You can really do this practice with any activity. I decided that a cup of coffee would be just the ticket. So, today, we will focus on a cup of coffee or tea.

For today’s practice either mindfully make or get a cup of coffee or tea and fix it how you like it. Now sit and take in the smell of the coffee or tea, hold the cup in your hand and feel the warmth. As you drink, demand nothing else of yourself. Just drink. Do not think of what you will do next or what you should be doing—just focus on your breath and your drink.

When you are finished, think about what you want to do with your day and do it…

Have a day full of the things that are most important to you!

Michele

Good Morning. Today is an absolutely beautiful fall morning. So, I thought a practice that involves nature would be fitting. You can simply get outside and walk, listening to leaves underfoot, breathing in the smells, and taking in the colors. Or, you might try to use the practice of viewing a mandala made of leaves for fall. If you are feeling very creative, hunt and gather and create your own fall mandala.

The word mandala means “circle” in Sanskrit. The circle is a powerful symbol found in every culture. The mandala symbolizes continuity and change at the same time. You can look at small parts of a mandala or take in the whole image. When you are ready, sit near your mandala (or computer) and breathe deeply while taking it in. Try no focus on nothing but the experience and your breath. Do this for as long as you like.

Wishing you peace today…

Michele

Today, I thought that we might focus on kindness. Kindness mindfulness practices provide us with access to positive feelings. They make us feel happy and secure and help us to remember that even in difficult times all is not lost.

Another thing about kindness mindfulness practices is that they often generate positive energy. What will you use your energy for today? You might need it to focus and to do work. You might need it to be attentive to how you treat other people in your environment. You might need it to find activities to fill your day. One of the great things about the kind of energy generated by this type of practice, is that it is positive energy…not nervous energy or energy derived from anger. Don’t get me wrong, all energy can be helpful and can motivate us to action. But there is a special thing that happens when one has joyful, compassionate energy from kindness practice.  Kindness is something that spreads. We are acutely aware how interactions can spread germs quickly. One person touches many who touch many others and so on. Each of us has the ability to impact the people we live with and work with, or even people we are apart from with kindness and good feelings. Just like a virus can spread, so can kind acts and good feelings.  When there is tension and sadness and stress, even small kind acts create positive feelings in others and in the environment. When passed on, kind acts multiply and change our environment.

So today’s practice is a very short guided practice in kindness. Please sit comfortably, take a few breaths to settle in and to become ready to practice, click the following link and begin…

Now reflect, do you feel differently than before your practice? With whatever energy or good feelings you notice in yourself, make a decision to do something that will spread that feeling to at least one other person. Try to spread kindness in all you do today.

Be well…

Michele

Good Morning. Today’s practice involves simply observing leaves on a tree. The task is just to notice with your full attention. If other thoughts arise, put your energy into noticing more details. If you have any judgments about the practice or the leaves you are observing, let them go and focus again on the details.

If you can do this outside, that’s great. If not, used the attached image. Notice the colors, the shape, the texture, and the patterns. Be sure to breathe in and out with awareness as you notice your leaves. This will anchor you in the present and bring together your body and mind.

Be Well!

Good Morning. Each morning, I get an email that digests headlines and content from The New York Times, The Post, and other media outlets all in one source. To give you a picture of today’s news: NYPD arrests High, murders on the rise…, 100+ schools close days after opening, City councilmen expelled for sexual harassment, Rochester mayor and others indicted on felony charges for campaign finance violations, more people in the White House test positive for COVID. Lots and lots of bad news. Then I caught one headline, Baby Boy Panda at the National Zoo…And of course, the Yankees won.

We control what we pay attention to and for how long. You can see that often what makes something news-worthy is the fact that it involves problems or injustice. This is important. But, we need to balance what we pay attention to as well. Negative thoughts lead to negative feelings. SO today’s practice is not to ignore the negative. You need to notice everything, but the task is not to ONLY notice the negative. Look for some good news or some pleasant things to balance out your thinking.

So today, watch the baby Panda story…breathe and remind yourself not to get stuck in negative thoughts. And, if you are so inclined, watch the Yankees win again this eve!

Be well!

Michele

Good Morning. One of the main benefits of mindfulness I sell to people is the fact that when you train your mind with practice, you can control your attention and your mood instead of having your day determined by negative thoughts or unpleasant emotions. When you deepen your mindfulness practice, you will find that you can choose practices suited to your personal needs, to major events in your life as they arise, and to your personal preferences.

For example, if you have trouble sleeping, a nightly relaxation mindfulness practice makes sense to include in your routines. If you wake up groggy and have a hard time getting the day started, you might choose mindfulness with coffee. If you wake up with anxiety or anger, there are practices for you. We have done many of these practices since March.

Today, your task will be to identify if you are feeling the need for increased alertness and energy or a more calming practice. So begin by observing your current state.

Personally, I usually wake up alert, cheerful, and ready for the day. You could say I am a morning person. Today, I’m feeling a little slow and tired. I’m going to choose an energizing mindfulness practice.

If you are waking up anxious or overwhelmed or irritated, try the second practice link below designed for equanimity, defined as “mental calmness and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.” In Buddhism equanimity is a steady conscious realization of the transience of reality. It means we are able to be in stressful situations without being swept up in them, we develop a deep inner calmness or wisdom, like a tree with deep roots that is able to withstand rain and wind.

Mindfulness for energy:

Take a brisk mindful walk or click the following link for a visualization practice for energy

Mindfulness for equanimity:

Throughout the day, do your best to pay attention to your energy level, your attention, and your awareness of your emotional state. Try to use your breath to upregulate and energize if you are feeling tired or to relax your body and mind if you are feeling overwhelmed or irritated.

Have a good day!

Michele

As I look out my window this morning it is sunny and really warm for October in the Northeast. Today’s practice focuses on greeting the day.

Yoga provides a way to accept and engage with the day, using your body to connect to the world and your day. Sun Salutations are a series of stretches that flow into one another and that energize the body to begin your day. Sun Salutations have been used for centuries as a way to honor the new day and to greet the morning. Now, the thing is that all of you probably have very different levels of experience with yoga practice. So, I am going to include two links that are both appropriate for beginners. If you have a practice, do your practice. But if yoga is new to you, try one of the short practices below. Neither requires a yoga mat…

The first two links are not sun salutations but they are very brief stretching yoga very safe for beginners or any age…

Chair stretching

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19FWt_iEFho&app=desktop

7 minute practice (for older adults)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDLad2vOHkU&app=desktop

If you have a yoga mat, and a bit of experience, try this traditional sun salutation practice

Now you have greeted your day. Notice if your day is any different when you begin it by accepting and greeting the day.

Peace,  

Michele

Today’s mindfulness is a practice to self-soothe and recharge yourself. This comes from the app Calm which offers many great practices. Get comfortable and listen carefully to the instruction and the sounds of this practice.

For the rest of the day, try to choose activities that are different from the week: take some time to focus on a call, write a note to someone, take an afternoon nap, read something for fun or play a game. Whatever it is, make sure it is something you choose and make sure not to consider it a second choice (not “I guess I will do this because I need to). Rather, accepting your options today, choose something that is pleasant, relaxing, or fun, and fully engage with it.

Enjoy the weekend!

Michele

Good Morning. Today is a rainy day. Rainy days often encourage us to be slower and to reflect. Today’s practice is a beautiful exercise written by Kiristina Reese. In this practice, she emphasizes the amazing properties of water—it can be life-giving, thirst quenching, refreshing and full of opportunity…it  can also be cleansing and renewing. This is a 6 minute practice.

Click on the link below to do the guided practice…I have included the words if you prefer to read or lead…

Guided Practice:

Written Script:

Find a seated position with the spine comfortably erect and the face slightly upturned. Let the hands rest open on the thighs, with the palms gently cupping upward.

Close your eyes and draw your attention to the rain. Notice the repetitive sound, imagining the temperature and moisture in the air, maybe a damp, refreshing scent…

With awareness of the rain, then recognizing properties of water, that it can be life-giving, thirst quenching, refreshing and full of opportunity…and that water can also be cleansing, clearing, a washing or rinsing away of dirt or things to be removed.

Drawing attention back to the rain, start to visualize individual raindrops and image them collecting in your palms, creating small pools of water.

Each drop that lands in the left palm, is a life-giving drop, refreshing and exciting….and each drop that lands in the right palm is cleansing, removing negativity, washing away anything that doesn’t serve you or may be holding you back.

Allow the drops to collect without judgment, critique or weighting, just hold and be present with these pools of water. Recognizing that each drop is part of the whole, together washing and refreshing.

Slowly start to bring your cupped hands together at your heart and imagine releasing the pools and letting them come together and wash over you, all the clearing, all the drops come together and flow into one, releasing, and passing over.

Let yourself be here and again, bring your attention to the rain and any sensations you may be feeling. Take a few deep breaths, eventually letting the eyes open and returning to the present moment.

Be well!

Michele

Good Morning! Cold and rainy here…thought we could try a mindfulness I recorded this spring. For this practice, just sit and notice the sights and sounds of nature.

Wishing for a calm day for each of you and if it cannot be calm, wishing you a quick return to this practice with a breath!

Michele

Good Morning.

Today’s practice involves sensation to weight. Many people are feeling unsteady in the world. Many, many things in the future are unsure and out of our control. Mindfulness teaches us that acceptance can protect us from unnecessary suffering. The suffering comes from inability to accept our emotions about unpleasant things or our inability to accept that we do not indeed have control. I think most people I speak with have gotten much better at acceptance (really we had lots of opportunities for practice). However, accepting that we do not know what is coming does not do much to help us when we are feeling rudderless. This feeling is something that we have some control over. Once you accept the fact that there are a lot of unknowns, you do have a choice about how you feel. If that thought makes you worried, anxious or unsteady, you need to notice that, but you do not need to sit continuously in a state of anxious apprehension. Grounding practices using the body and your breath can help immensely.

For today’s practice, you can use a weighted blanket, a heavy quilt, or even an open book. You can lie down and cover yourself with your blanket or sit upright in a chair with a good back and place an open book in your lap. After you click on the timer, you will hear three chimes. Click the following link to begin the practice.

After the chimes, begin breathing in deeply and exhaling slowly. Feel the weight of gravity pulling you downward on your bed or in your char. Feel yourself supported. As you continue to breathe, move your sensation to the weight of whatever is covering you. Feel its presence and feel weight move as you breathe in and out. Continue to feel grounded in the weight and your breath until you hear chimes signaling the end of your practice.

When you feel unsteady, out of your element, distanced from the familiar, or jarred by news of fears about the future, take a deep breath in and feel gravity connecting you to your chair or the floor. Connect to the present moment and take another breath. It helps!

Be Safe!

Michele

Good Morning.

There is a difference between noticing something and being mindful. Being mindful involves noticing as something happens (not making sense of your experience afterwards) and it involves noticing without judgment.

Today’s practice is to use your senses to take in light and shadows without judgment…

If you can do this practice outside, it’s best. If not, try to sit by a window. Click the link to listen to the bells as your timer. Each bell is a different moment. Light may look different from the last moment. Continue to breathe as you take in and notice the play of light on objects as it shifts and changes. If you like, you can move yourself so you perceive the same thing from different angles. Do not lose touch with your breath throughout.

Now, click this link for a series of quiet bells…

Hopefully you were able to embrace the changing perspective created by light and shadows moment by moment. Embrace change, embrace different perspectives…challenging as it may be.

May your day be bright!

Michele

Good Morning. Zen teaches us that often our problems often result from misperception.  Take for instance, Seligman’s puppies. There was a science experiment that involved puppies being locked into a pen and shocked. The puppies tried to escape, but they failed. Soon, the experimenters unlocked the door to the pen, but the animals remained. They were so conditioned to lay there and accept the punishment, that they failed to leave, even when leaving became possible. This can happen to us when we are in the midst of a problem and fail to see it with fresh eyes. We either give up or repeat responses that are unhelpful over and over again. Zen involves asking yourself to see situations from multiple perspectives…to see what you have left out, and to PERSIST in your efforts.

Recent studies have demonstrated that mindfulness practice increases students’ persistence when solving difficult problems. When we practice mindfulness, we learn at least two things: 1) we train our brain to actually stay on task and connected to the present moment alert to changes-seeing each moment as an opportunity, and 2) we train ourselves, like an athlete, to persist despite frustration, fatigue, or obstacles.

Today’s practice involves reading or listening to a Zen Fable…

One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried out for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. He got a neighbor to try to get the animal out, but they could not figure out what to do. The farmer thought that he should have covered the old well long ago. He blamed himself and he decided the animal was old and needed to be put out of his suffering–and the well needed to be covered up anyway.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up onto the dirt, elevating himself to the highest point.

As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take another step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life may indeed shovel dirt on top of you. The farmer and neighbors were not actually trying to save the donkey. They had given up and were out of tricks. But, the donkey took what was available, and persisted long enough until the path forward (or upward) became clear. He saw the same situation in a completely different way. This is dialectical thinking. And he did not give up. This is persistence. Note also that the donkey did not waste time being angry or distressed that the farmer and neighbors had given up on him. He was upset at first but soon changed his focus. So today, when you feel stuck, try to see the situation in a different way. Try not to waste time thinking about the motivations of others. Think about how the obstacle can be turned into an opportunity to learn or to move forward. Make it your goal to persist until you are able to see the situation differently and to be more effective or until you succeed. Persistence is not giving up, even when things are challenging and they seem hopeless. It means breathing and discovering each moment as new, carving out change. 

Have a nice Saturday!

Michele

Good Morning. Whenever you wake up and are just not feeling it, you have a choice to struggle to get through the day or to make a shift. Today’s practice shifts mood with breath through.  This can be done seated or laying down on a bed or on a mat on the floor. Settle in and set a timer for three minutes.

 Begin by taking a deep breath in through your nose until you feel your lungs filled to capacity. Notice the “top of the breath.” When there is no more room in your lungs and you notice the breath transition from in-breath to out-breath, slowly force all of the air out of your lungs. Remember to allow your exhale to be a little longer than your inhale. Whenever you feel ready to add the next layer, on your next in-breath imagine breathing in any worry thoughts, stress, pain, or irritability. Hold this at the top of your breath. On your exhale, focus on breathing out transformed energy. Imagine your exhale releasing positive energy, warmth, and good will out into the world. If you are bothered by a recurrent negative thought or emotion, just notice it, but on your exhale say to yourself “all will be well.” Imagine spreading positive energy to those you know and care about, as well as to all those affected by losses or difficulties. With every exhale, wish yourself and others wellness and positive feelings.

When done, reflect on your energy level and feelings about beginning the day. Have they changed?

This is a type of loving kindness practice that uses breath rather than words to activate positive feelings and energy. Later today, if you would like to lift your energy or your mood, return to 2 or three deep breaths and focus on the thought that all is well on your exhale.  Some of you have been practicing this breathing daily in the morning and before bed. If you have, reflect on whether it is easier to find this calm place in the middle of your day now. The more we practice mindfulness outside of chaos, the more we can access this place of calm in the midst of chaos.

Wishing you positive energy today.

Michele

Today’s practice focuses on our tendency to get caught up in blame. It is a natural human tendency to want to find someone to blame when our goals are blocked, when we are misunderstood, or when someone accuses us of something. Blame is tricky because it makes us feel justified, correct, and it validates our position exactly as is. It makes us feel better in the moment, but does not help us in the long run. Blame adds no new information. Most likely, blame alone will not fix the problem.

When something goes wrong in an organization, we often rush to blame a person, rather than investigating the culture or processes present that foster bad actors and perpetuate mistakes. When something goes wrong in our relationships we can blame others, but this alone will not change them. I once worked with someone who said, “my parents mistreated me and each other and it’s their fault I have problems and that I have no one in my life.” It was true that her parents contributed to her relationship problems, but it was also true that if she wanted to be connected to others, she had to go beyond blame and make a plan to change things she needed to in order to get the kind of relationship she wanted.

Today’s practice helps us to transform blaming into effectiveness.

Begin by sitting upright with your feel on the floor. Breathe in deeply. By now, maybe when you breathe in, some of the practice you have been doing is noticeable. The more you practice, the more this first breath to get ready feels familiar. You can feel yourself settling, becoming more alert to your practice.

Call to mind someone or something that makes you angry. Notice the urge or action of blaming. Now click the 5 minute timer

After the bell, read the following quote from Buddhist Teacher, Phap Dung,

“We see the mind like a house, so if your house is on fire, you need to take care of the fire, not to go look for the person that made the fire. Take care of those emotions first; it’s the priority. Because anything that comes from a place of fear and anxiety and anger will only make the fire worse. Come back and find a place of calm and peace to cool the flame of emotion down.” Phap Dung

Wait one minute…Then read:

Breathe in deeply, attending to the emotions you feel about the problem. When you feel yourself blaming and judging, try to observe and describe the situation. Continue to breathe in and out deeply, gently exploring the situation with care and without judgment. Feel your breath transforming emotions associated with simple blame into deeper thoughts about the situation. What can you change? How might you change it? What is not possible to change in this moment? What can you do to accept what you can’t change? Continue breathing and allowing thoughts and feelings to arise. End the practice after the bell.

Throughout the day, see if you can notice any time you find yourself blaming. When you do, take a deep breath, and explore deeper…Breathe and resist urges to act impulsively. Breathe and assess what is the most effective course of action.

Be Well!

Michele

Avoidance is a big problem for lots of us. Avoidance actually grows anxiety. So today’s practice is about sitting with an uncomfortable emotion until you notice it decreasing.

Hello,

Good Morning. It’s freezing this morning where I am. Still definitely hard to get moving! Still tension around the election today and what’s to follow….

Today’s practice combines self-soothing with focusing on one thing in the moment. You will need a hot drink to begin. Make some tea, coffee or cocoa. Or, if you are inclined hot water with lemon or anything mulled.

The practice is simple, take a deep breath or two to settle and then direct all your attention to your drink. Notice the feel of the cup or mug warming your hands. Observe the rise of steam and the smell of your drink. Finally notice the warmth as you sip your beverage and it moves down through your body. During this time, if any thoughts, worries, fears about the day or things you need to do arise, let them float out of awareness by focusing your attention again on your drink.

If you get stressed during the day, take a breath to do the same type of focusing…or if you feel like it, have a cup of tea!

Warmest wishes for a peaceful day!

Michele

Good Morning. There is Good News and Bad News and then there is waiting….Whatever your preferences are, waiting is a limbo land that is uncomfortable.

Good morning. Today we will go back to basics with water. Begin by thinking about how essential water is to our existence. Ancient Chinese texts list five essential elements: earth, fire, metal, wood, and water. It is easy to understand why water is essential. We need it for hydration, it is cleansing and pure.

For today’s practice, begin by collecting a glass of water.

Settle yourself, begin with deep breaths and then spend a few moments focusing on

the sensations surrounding your glass of water (sight, sound as it moves, taste and sensation as you drink the water). Breathe naturally as you observe the water.

Throughout the day, make it your intention to drink multiple times (set timers if you need to). Each time, return briefly to observing sensation. Notice how time stops for a moment and breathe.

Be well!

Michele

Good Morning. Today is Thanksgiving here in the U.S. A day where we stop to focus on the many things we have that enrich our lives and make it easier. The meme above reflects how a lot of people feel about 2020. This year has given much to complain about. Many of us are separated from those we usually spend the holiday with. I usually prepare an elaborate Thanksgiving meal for 30 or so guests. It requires lots of preparation and lots of effort. But it’s always worth it. This year just does not feel the same.

This is where mindfulness becomes important. One little video calls mindfulness your “superpower.” I can focus on how this year is different in not so nice ways, or I can train my brain to stay on a different track. By anchoring focus on all the things I am thankful for, I can literally change the experience of the day. First, I’m thankful for my health and that of my family. I’m thankful that although this has been a brutal year, it has made us acutely aware of shortcomings in our system, and shined a light on the depth of problems in our country. You cannot fix something if you do not accept it is a problem. I am grateful for a fireplace on a cold wet day. I’m grateful for my family (those with me and those who are not). Research has shown that intentionally practicing gratitude makes us happier. It changes our brain and gets rid of a negative cognitive set…in other words, it frees us from scanning the world for bad things.

For today’s practice it does not matter if you think about one thing or many, or if you think about little things like a flower outside your window or a big thing like an important relationship. Spend five minutes experiencing and growing gratitude. You will be happy that you did.

Mindfulness:

This practice has no chimes and no relaxing music or sounds. It is a quiet practice. You can sit or recline. Begin with a deep breath.

Sit and inhale deeply, noticing the moment your lungs are full, and then exhale. On your next inhale consider the oxygen being brought into your body and to each of your organs to keep you alive. See if you can connect to this oxygen as you breathe in and out. Consider the chair or the floor where you sit. It is solid and supports you. Feel that in the present moment, oxygen and a place to sit are all that you need. Continue to breathe in and out.

Now, take a moment to reflect on any of the things in your life that you are thankful for. Think about basic things like food, a place to be dry on a rainy day, a place to rest in the evening, your physical capabilities, your mind, your capacity to care for others, your ability to make choices and change if you wish to. Think about people in your life you are thankful for (whether you know them or you do not). If you like you can make a list of blessings. For each think you think of say to yourself, I am grateful for…and take a breath in and out before moving to something else. If you get distracted or judgmental, just take a new breath, and gently prod yourself to find something you actually appreciate. Do this reset as many times as you need to.

When your practice is concluded, process it for a moment. How did it make you feel? What did you notice?

The idea of practices like this is not only the brief warm feelings that they generate, rather it is to develop in yourself a moment to moment noticing of things you are grateful for. This creates a balance to many negative things in the world we are primed to notice.

Be Happy!

Michele