Numb

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Krithika Patrachari

 

I don’t feel heavy anymore

But I don’t feel light either

 

I feel like static on a TV

Like there is so much noise but none at all

 

I feel lost

But I don’t have anywhere to call home

 

I feel like the color grey

Like I can’t identify with black or white

 

I feel sun beating on my face

But I don’t close my eyes and marvel at the colors

 

I feel like Wednesday

Like it’s too late to mourn last weekend and too early to await the next

 

I feel tired

But my eyes are too awake

 

I feel like a loose plug just before it falls

Like I am destined to fall but can hold on a bit longer

 

I feel alive

But only because my heart is still beating

 

I feel

But I don’t feel either

 

I guess this is what numbness feels like

 

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Krithika Patrachari is a sophomore at Rutgers University, graduating in 2024. She is working towards a major in Civil Engineering and a minor in Philosophy. Krithika grew up in Marlboro, New Jersey, and has always been interested in anything involving creativity, such as drawing, painting, sculpting, and writing.