There’s such a difference between writing poetry and then reading it aloud. When I’m writing, I’m not paying attention to anything. It’s just me locked away in my room when no one is watching, tucked away either in my bed or at my desk, letting the words flow through me. When I’m writing on my own, my brain goes through a sort of time loop: start, stop, keep going, start, stop, keep going, and it just goes on and on again until I feel I’m completely done.
Both of my books were written in such weird times in my life. My first book Reality Check was started during the pandemic, right when I’d just lost my first library job, and I had nothing to do. I’d needed an escape from my brain for awhile, so I’d just write the day away. With Destinations, I was a bit more relaxed in my writing approach. Because I had self-published a book before, I knew the routine. I didn’t have to think so hard about what I was writing. But I’d still didn’t think much about performing or reading aloud. In 2022, I’d done the 3rd Annual African-American Read-In at Piscataway Public Library, where local Black authors come in and read their work in honor or Black History Month. Back then, I’d only Reality Check out, and I was so nervous to read in front a virtual audience. That moment of me reading my work for the first time was such a blur. I remember being there, but not being fully present, maybe due to nerves. In February 2025, however, I knew I had some confidence in writing more material for this year’s 6th Annual Read-In. I knew that writing more material for people to read wasn’t the issue; it was the public speaking aspect that was still making me nervous. To be honest, I was more nervous because my family and friends were coming! My family included my mom, oldest niece, her friend, my two best friends and their boyfriends. It was like two different worlds colliding, and I was the main reason this was happening. Which made me both nervous and excited!
I read one poem from each book: “Promise” from Reality Check, and “My Hair” from Destinations. I remember being more present this time, probably because I knew the material and hoped that the people liked it. It’s weird reading back your own work and hearing people’s reactions in real-time. I’d kept my head down the whole time because I didn’t want to mess up on my words (which I did anyway). I also remember hearing more of a positive reaction to “My Hair” than “Promise” probably because I chose it for Black History Month, and I wanted to read a post that appreciated my Black culture. As weird as it is reading back your own work, doing it helps to know what lines people are drawn to. As I was reading, I’d heard a few laughs and chuckles, which made me a bit more confident to keep going. I didn’t get those kinds of responses during the virtual reading back in 2022, so that was a nice change.
After I finished my reading, I was pleasantly surprised at the round of applause and happy faces. I knew I was a good writer, but to see and hear people’s positive feedback was such a good feeling, as nervous as I was. It made me happy to know that other people enjoyed hearing my work. I was also relieved that I could finally sit back and enjoy the rest of the event without nerves getting in the way. I really liked the other performers, such as Peggy Wong, Fleeta Bulle, and Roy Jarmon. It made me a bit jealous that they all had stronger performances than me. I thought their performances were incredible, powerful, and I’d remember them after the program.
After the event, many people come up to me and congratulate me on my reading. Some performers from the event also congratulated me and we got to talking more about our writing. I was mesmerized by how much connecting and networking I accomplished, and the expertise I gained from writing my books. One of the ladies asked me how I self-published my books. This prompted me to share about Reedsy, my favorite online marketplace for writers to find editors, book cover designers, marketing, publicity, translations, ghostwriting, making an author website and more. I’ve used this service for both editing and book cover designs, and it’s a great way to connect with the best of the best.
I’m happy I got to share my writing out loud with my loved ones and meet other people who do what I do. I have more poetry reading events in the upcoming months, and this experience helped me love writing even more.
African American Read-In (NAACP Metuchen Edison, NJ, February 2025)
