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Drunkalogue: A journey from addiction to redemption

| By | Bibliotherapy,Resources

As the librarian-subject specialist for Alcohol Studies since 2007, I have read my share of drunkalogs when purchasing memoirs and autobiographies related to addictive behaviors for the collection for a project called Reading for Recovery (R4R). Memoirs are often viewed as the output of some opportunistic money maker riding the popularity wave of some narcissistic celebrity. Frequently written by underpaid ghostwriters, the narrative might fall somewhere between humble bragging and the emotional vomit of a person of notoriety that I have never heard of. Why does anyone under 30 feel the need to write an ego-stroking memoir to begin with? Beats me.

Enter the drunkalog. Or, more eloquently, the drunkalogue, if you wish, keeping the British spelling of the original monologue. The word itself is not considered nice or politically correct everywhere, but I leave it to the reader to decide.

  • Drunkalogue (ˈdrʌŋkəˌlɒɡ): An account of a person’s problems with alcohol (Collins English Dictionary)

How can someone talking non-stop about the highs and lows of their drinking life be so engaging or, oftentimes, inspiring? How can one read more than a few of these?

A powerful first-person narrative

Besides its apparent etymology, the word “drunkalogue” refers to a first-person narrative sharing the history of an individual with a substance use disorder. These stories are typically recited at closed meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous by AA members. However, sometimes guests might be invited, as we were, to share a copy of the first edition of the “Big Book,” Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How More Than One Hundred Men Have Recovered from Alcoholism. This marked a life-changing event that launched the Reading for Recovery project. Suppose you have seen an AA meeting depicted in a TV show. In that case, this is the part when the speaker introduces themselves as “Hi, my name is [insert first name], I am an alcoholic” and gives a monologue about how they have lost control over their life due to their inability to stop drinking. Not only do first-timers tell their stories, but attendees feel the urge to share their own over and over: with newcomers, on the anniversaries of their sobriety, or any time something challenging happens, all while in the company of a compassionate audience of AA fellows.

cover art

F. Scott Fitzgerald (2011). On Booze. New Directions Publishing

An authentic recovery story is brutally honest, describing the gory details of hitting rock bottom rather than jumping to the part of the happily ever after. The narrative often focuses on some disgusting and gut-wrenching details of a personal drama, including dishonesty, deception, and betrayal. “Liars, cheats, and thieves” is the AA shorthand for the concept. Alcohol is often compounded with drugs obtained from the street or doctors, and addiction goes hand in hand with severe mental health issues such as anxiety and depression before the wake-up call. The most honest drunkalogue admits: “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you” (F. Scott Fitzgerald)

It might seem incomprehensible that listening to other people’s similar stories can help, but it does. Sharing and reflecting on narratives with guidance is the foundation of bibliotherapy. These powerful stories follow a somewhat traditional structure from first encounters with alcohol or other drugs to the sobriety date, which in itself can be an inspiration to others. A drunkalogue must have a turning point, when the individual turned their life around and how, or else it will be no different from the narrative of those “heroic” 25-year-olds. There is a lot of drama, even more reflections, and eyes in the room don’t always stay dry.

Book

A contemporary edition of the AA “Big Book.” (Picture courtesy of AA website)

The “fellowship,” as they call it in AA terms, does work. You need to see yourself in someone else’s story to admit that you have reached that point where you either make a sharp turn or die. I’m not going into the full 12-step AA mode, there is a ton of literature out there from daily practice to spirituality. Read the Big Book for original stories or read Earnie Kurtz for the history of AA.

Instead, here are a few thoughts on what we can learn from drunkalogues when telling others about our own issues in a monologue.

Sharing your story: the perspective of the narrator

For the narrator, a drunkalogue serves several therapeutic and psychological purposes, with maintaining long-term sobriety is the most important. Telling their story can help them:

  • make sense of the past and release shame
  • reinforce the commitment to sobriety by seeing how far they have come
  • convert memories into tools to help others find purpose
  • build a new narrative of their life that includes addiction but is not defined by it
  • transition into becoming a person in recovery

Listening to others’ stories

For listeners, these stories also serve several vital purposes. Hearing other people struggling with addiction can help the listener or reader:

  • break through denial or understand the progression of addiction
  • recognize their own patterns, which may come with an “aha moment” and end in acceptance of their own addiction
  • identify warning signs, triggers, and common patterns
  • build hope by understanding that change is possible
  • accept that even people who hit rock bottom can rebuild their lives

Stories for public consumption

The public drunkalogue is far from anonymous. It can be published as a memoir, but more recently, social media has also been inundated with similar stories. My favorite combines them all, giving hope to many grappling with their demons.

The short disclosures on social media, sometimes with full names and sometimes hiding behind a throwaway account, serve the same purpose. Even short narratives can create meaningful connections with others in recovery. Each person contributes to community building, and the contribution helps build self-worth. Transforming personal struggles into a tool for helping others is a critical part of maintaining long-term sobriety. For the reader struggling with similar issues, these stories bring a glimmer of hope with their positive outcome pointing out that change is possible.

Addiction memoirs balancing the darkness of addiction with the hope of recovery have the most impact. In addition to describing the road to rock bottom, they pinpoint the turning point that led to seeking help. They focus on the recovery process while presenting lessons learned along the way and emphasizing the positive changes that sobriety has brought to their lives.

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